And then…

1) Not eat and/or eat very little and/or plow through your emergency earthquake kit instead of going out for dinner like you’re so used to, which is okay because then the Korean couple that owns the restaurant down the street will think you are on a date.

2) Massive epi binge on Monarch of the Glen, desperately trying to figure out which episode Jason O’ Mara shows up in in all his shirtless-ey, manly glory, and then due to sudden language osmosis (or dark magic) unintentionally answer family members in a Scottish accent and repeatedly dream of all your ex-boyfriends parading in front of you in kilts and lucky rabbit foot accessories.

3) Argue with said family members about how you are “totally not being jealous” of your younger brother’s ex just because you said that she “dresses slutty” and “can go after [your ex-boyfriend] all she wants, the stupid cow!”

4) Recall that your powers of persuasion suck.

5) Proceed to call your younger brother’s best friend to sulk, but instantly forget how sucky and miserable you felt a moment ago because his sweet voice filtering through your cellphone’s cancerous electromagnetic waves forces you to lose all concentration and mobility in your legs.

6) Get invited by said younger brother’s best friend to go to watch Man of Steel and sit beside him in the dark theatre, mobility of legs still in jeopardy, trying to figure out whether or not this would be considered a date, only to have his ex-girlfriend show up and witness the look of absolutely gloom descend upon him.

7) Put on your jogging clothes out of depression the next morning to go running only to realize that you look absolutely bulimic and should be lifting weights or something.

8) Decide to sleep in instead.

7) Marathon through your entire Indian movie collection and note that all of them star Aishwarya Rai (Devdas, Hum Dil de Chuke Sanaam, Raavana (Tamil), Guzaarish, Raincoat, Chokher Bali).

8) Get creeped out.

9) Do a little translation work on the side and get distracted by your cats, who like to jump on the table and sit on your keyboard.

10) And while you are wrapped up in your busy sucession of nothings, your staff at Stiletto Heels is hard at work, quietly crafting these releases to utterly brilliantly perfection:

& (and) v2, ch.6: After Yagai shoots her down, Kaoru contemplates her newfound feelings for him. Feelings that, for her, breath vibrancy of emotion to her otherwise quiet and unassuming life.

Ane no Kekkon v1, ch.3: Maki redefines obsession and stalkerdom to a whole new level, though I can sort of sympathize with him this time around.

Balancing Toy v1, ch.Extra: Kyahhh! Towa is so adorable!

Natsuyuki Rendezvous v3, ch.14: Shimao, still occupying Hazuki’s body, pulls a mean one on Rokka and takes off with her most precious possession.

Natsuyuki Rendezvous v3, ch.15: With Hazuki still at large, Rokka decides to take matters into her own hands: She changes into her… mountain-hiking gear???

Nigeru Otoko ch.4: A bottle of wine can impart some words of wisdom.

Otoko no Issho v1, ch.4: I don’t know why some people say they don’t like Tsugumi. So what if she doesn’t look her 2D age? So what if she’s cooking and cleaning for a man? Just because she does all these “feminine” things doesn’t mean we’re forced to take a step back in women’s rights. Back to where men clubbed women and dragged them by the hair into their caves. She’s a totally macho woman with totally understandable female attributes. Plus she can definitely work a screwdriver better than her male counterparts. What is there not to like?

Oh, and how could I ever forget! We have a few staff members making their debut with these releases today. Please say hello to our editor Ivy, proofreader Octopus, and translator bubblesinmysuitcase.