September 20, 2019, 06:00:47 AM

Author Topic: Best/Worst thing that happened today  (Read 810425 times)

Kusa

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #240 on: March 13, 2017, 09:17:40 AM »
Thank you for your well wishes Hats :) At this point I just want to be happy as a singleton. I feel that if I'm not as much of an emotional mess, any potential relationships will be steadier and less fraught with difficulty. Plus, if I'm happy... I don't really need a relationship!

This ideal state can feel so far away at times, though.. Lol T_T

It's really great that you've been experiencing a sense of wellbeing in your relationship that you haven't had in your previous ones. I'm happy for you, Hats! I agree with you that relationships are scary... All the best luck, and I hope you are able to grow from the experience.

I'm sorry that all I ever talk about on here is love and relationships. I have a kind of one-track mind. Re: my own drama, getting over someone is really hard. But I feel like things are gradually getting better. It would be really nice if I could be the relatively emotionally stable person I mentioned above, and also have my ex-fwb as a friend (so I don't have to feel sad about not having him) but ALSO actually be happy to just have him as a friend. Might be a bit of a tall order.

I've made a friend online who I talk to to get me through some of the tougher moments, but I'm a little worried that we're almost getting into a co-dependent pattern. I have to be a grown up and manage this friendship wisely.

I'm also really hungry and really craving stroopwaffles. Coco, if you're passing thru these cute European bakeries and you see some stroopwaffles, for heaven's sake, bring them back to me.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2017, 09:20:38 AM by Kusa »

Hats

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #241 on: March 17, 2017, 02:12:47 PM »
Wow it feels like it's been so long...
Kusa, I have things to say but it will have to wait. My mind has not been in the right place. :scratch:

My friends are getting a divorce right now. I feel like crap for them. He was such a nice guy, so I never thought he would cheat on her. Even if he did I didn't think he would leave her. Anyway I've been out since last week and back home by Sunday evening.
In Progress : [Translating]
& Vol.5, ch25-26 TLcheck: in progress
3 AM Terrible Zone Vol.1, ch04-06: in progress
Ane no Kekkon Vol.4,ch19-24: in progress
Futago Vol.1, ch01-05v2, Vol.5, ch25&extras: in progress
Heartbroken Chocolatier Vol.2, ch06: in progress
Love Master X Vol.1, ch03-ch05: in progress
Nina My Love Vol.3, ch.21: in progress
Suppli Vol.1,ch03-06: in progress
Teke Teke Rendezvous Vol.2, ch17: in progress
Toribako House Vol.1, ch08: in progress

Kusa

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #242 on: March 18, 2017, 07:01:28 AM »
*waits patiently*

Haha no pressure.

Quote
My friends are getting a divorce right now. I feel like crap for them. He was such a nice guy, so I never thought he would cheat on her. Even if he did I didn't think he would leave her.
This is exactly the type of story that makes me feel like romances are too much emotion for too much heartbreak! I read this sort of stuff all the time on r/offmychest and feed my fear of relationships... I feel tactless for writing this given your recentish relationship status though, Hats.

Curious to hear what your trip was about!
I just have school and work in my corner. Though I've made a guy friend whom I've been having seedy spa dates with during work hours. He's actually a wholesome guy as far as fwbs go. Is it me or am I a bit much casually trashy? orz

Hats

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #243 on: April 13, 2017, 04:02:31 AM »
Kusa, I specifically avoid reddit forums when I'm in a relationship. Like you said, it feeds fear. Personally, I avoid relationship advice forums and articles, even when I have relationship issues, because I prefer to discuss it with said person and said person only. Don't need a million mouths telling me how I'm right, and that I should dump the guy.

That said, my friend's divorce shook me up just a bit. The fact that a decade-long, supposedly happy marriage could end just like that. He didn't even take his stuff. He left them at their house for her to dispose of. She spent a week having to sort and clean out his stuff on her own. She's back in town now, and I felt really sad when some of our mutual friends were like, "She's just here to get people on her side." I understand that he was also a friend, and we've always known him to be a good guy, but she wasn't a terrible wife either. He just "fell out of love" with her and found someone better.

During this stressful time, my boyfriend gifted me with a ring. I felt really terrible for asking him, in a somewhat emphatic tone, whether it meant something more than just a gift. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but he seemed slightly disappointed over that question. He assured me that it was just a gift. He thought it looked nice, and that I would look nice wearing it. The matter was put to rest. I wore it on the middle finger of my right hand, and it did look nice. But I noticed my single friends watching my ringed finger like a hawk. When I told my boyfriend that I didn't like it when people assumed we were engaged, he told me in a pretty serious and heavy tone that he is not against the idea. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to disappoint him again. The ring feels so freaking heavy now. I don't know if it's psychosomatic. I just FEEL that it's there. It's not a big rock or anything, but I realize now that it is a band with 12 diamonds. I went online to check out the price, and realized that he had spent over $400 on me. I have NEVER been gifted anything more than $100. Heck, I have NEVER been gifted anything by a guy that wasn't food.

Anyway, I disappeared off the internet because all this was going on, and I was experiencing a pregnancy scare as well. I'm not proud of it, but starting in April, I had been getting what is typically thought of to be "morning sickness." I was like this for two weeks before going in for a checkup. Turns out it was either my terrible diet or just plain old anxiety (I got promoted at my workplace, and the stress of training other people got to me.).

My highlights for the week are the addition of new staff to the team. I intend to be more active this month as well.

Hope everyone (read: WHOMEVER IS READING) is doing well.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2017, 04:06:37 AM by Hats »
In Progress : [Translating]
& Vol.5, ch25-26 TLcheck: in progress
3 AM Terrible Zone Vol.1, ch04-06: in progress
Ane no Kekkon Vol.4,ch19-24: in progress
Futago Vol.1, ch01-05v2, Vol.5, ch25&extras: in progress
Heartbroken Chocolatier Vol.2, ch06: in progress
Love Master X Vol.1, ch03-ch05: in progress
Nina My Love Vol.3, ch.21: in progress
Suppli Vol.1,ch03-06: in progress
Teke Teke Rendezvous Vol.2, ch17: in progress
Toribako House Vol.1, ch08: in progress

Kusa

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #244 on: April 16, 2017, 06:29:48 AM »
I'm doing well!! I think. I typically and chronically experienced spells of poor mood but for the past month or two I've been noticeably more stable and happy. No real reason, maybe just staying busy and eating vitamin d pills.

I think you and I both share some things in common about how we experience (anxiety about) relationships. I hope your guy is understanding and that he slowly gets the idea that this skittishness is something you naturally experience, if he doesn't get that yet. That way you two can take it slow and easy even if he is seriously interested in being with you. Though it can be hard to feel like your partner is more uncertain than you are. Oh my, am I giving you that relationship advice you purposefully avoid? lol

that two week morning sickness is so scary. :P I'm very glad I have a bc implant which safeguards me from those scenarios. Even when I was on the pill, 5-10% uncertainty was enough to make me paranoid.

This is really silly, but I recall one time you described your boyfriend as having 'sad blue eyes', and because of that I always think of your boyfriend when I hear this song: 'Ocean Eyes' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9U0qMHHkSo

I'm still up to my sleazy exploits, though less of it because school and work have been getting real. The sleaziest was hooking up with a guy only to realize in morning that his girl friend is calling him and asking him where the hell he is. Post that he 'ended things with her' and asked to date me (scare quotes because you can't trust a guy who hooks up with random girls while having a girl waiting for you back home). I can't date him, but I like him a bit and am trying to be friends. I know, coco thinks it's dubious too.

I think we probably won't even be friends. I am going to try to focus on school things now (I am temporarily or permanently leaving my cushy tech job to go back to school! and I am thinking of also going to community college part time to keep an art hobby). /end diary entry

Minelauva

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #245 on: April 17, 2017, 01:45:01 PM »
@Hats: I will also try to be more active. I have to admit I've been struggling to find the motivation to edit this past few months. I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Nothing bad, but I need to find some energy again. There have been some changes at work and as a result, my workload has increased and I've been feeling more isolated than before. My boss still seems satisfied but my results aren't as good as I hoped they would be. My standards are probably too high... All this stress has taken its toll on my personal life. Exercising really helps. I've started aquabiking back in January. It's tough but I like it. It helps me keep my mood balanced.


Anata no Koto wa Sorehodo (ed): ch.5 to be cleaned
Futagashira (ed): ch. 7 to be cleaned
Omi-sensei no binetsu (cl): -
Principal (ed): cleaning ch.26
Teketeke Rendezvous (ed): -

Kusa

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #246 on: April 19, 2017, 05:03:53 AM »
Wow, I'd never heard of aquacycling before. What a concept. Part of me feels like if you're in the water, you might as well swim. lol But this way you don't have to get water in your face and nose and everything.


cocoyam

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #247 on: April 28, 2017, 04:13:34 AM »
Hi puppies. I've been in a downmood too. I wonder what it is. Mine, I think a lot of women are hard on themselves with their expectations. We take it on ourselves to excel high internal standards.. And we blame ourselves if we don't meet them. I think it's all the responsibility the world puts on our shoulders. Haha. I dunno.

I went to Paris, and that was fun and exciting, as well as a heavy dose of anxiety and cramming for work. But since then, I've been struggling with being behind on schoolwork, not liking my co-workers so much, and feeling guilt about the time I spend with my mom and whether I have agency in my life about how I spend my time. I don't think I should bother elaborating, it won't necessarily serve any purpose.

Hmm.. that was not a very upbeat post. I'm sorry. Orz

Hats

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #248 on: April 28, 2017, 07:08:20 PM »
Quote from: Minelauva
@Hats: I will also try to be more active. I have to admit I've been struggling to find the motivation to edit this past few months. I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Nothing bad, but I need to find some energy again.
Hey, weíre on the same ďlack of motivationĒ boat here. Mine just happened to dock a bit sooner than yours. :) I think the new staff being so eager to help fired me up a bit, as well as older staff continually prodding me with, ďHey! Are you alive?!Ē reminders, heh. Thanks, everyone!

Even if the motivation doesnít come back for a while, thatís OK. No stress. Just work at your own pace!

Quote
There have been some changes at work and as a result, my workload has increased and I've been feeling more isolated than before. My boss still seems satisfied but my results aren't as good as I hoped they would be. My standards are probably too high... All this stress has taken its toll on my personal life. Exercising really helps. I've started aquabiking back in January. It's tough but I like it. It helps me keep my mood balanced.

Yes, girl, youíve set the bar so high for yourself and needlessly stressing yourself out. If the boss is happy, that means you must be doing something right.

Yes, exercising helps! I went out biking last weekend, and Iím doing it again this weekend. My goal is 7 miles. I used to do 14 mi trips when I biked to work, so this should be easy. My nephew has been coming with me because he wants to lose weight, so Iím more careful with my surroundings. We donít have bike lanes in our city, so itís a little scary to bike with your sisterís only teenage son. 
In Progress : [Translating]
& Vol.5, ch25-26 TLcheck: in progress
3 AM Terrible Zone Vol.1, ch04-06: in progress
Ane no Kekkon Vol.4,ch19-24: in progress
Futago Vol.1, ch01-05v2, Vol.5, ch25&extras: in progress
Heartbroken Chocolatier Vol.2, ch06: in progress
Love Master X Vol.1, ch03-ch05: in progress
Nina My Love Vol.3, ch.21: in progress
Suppli Vol.1,ch03-06: in progress
Teke Teke Rendezvous Vol.2, ch17: in progress
Toribako House Vol.1, ch08: in progress

Minelauva

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #249 on: April 30, 2017, 06:22:47 PM »
Quote
Wow, I'd never heard of aquacycling before. What a concept. Part of me feels like if you're in the water, you might as well swim. lol But this way you don't have to get water in your face and nose and everything.

I thought it was weird at first too. :D The only reason I even tried was because it was a gift from my parents for my birthday. Swimming is not an option for me though. I'm not a very good swimmer so I could never get enough exercise just by going swimming every week. Besides, I don't really see the point of swimming in a swimming pool, or even in the sea. I like scuba diving and snorkelling but to me, swimming is not an end in itself.

Quote
Yes, exercising helps! I went out biking last weekend, and Iím doing it again this weekend. My goal is 7 miles. I used to do 14 mi trips when I biked to work, so this should be easy. My nephew has been coming with me because he wants to lose weight, so Iím more careful with my surroundings. We donít have bike lanes in our city, so itís a little scary to bike with your sisterís only teenage son.

We have a similar problem here. Before we moved here about ten years ago, I used to love biking. I didn't have my driver's licence yet so it gave me independence and it was more enjoyable than taking the bus. But now, we live in a mountainous area so I've basically stopped biking. It's too hard. When I arrived here, in my last year of high school, a boy in my class commuted by bike everyday. I didn't realize at the time what an achievement it was. The road leading to his village is even steeper than the one leading to mine.  :huh: The only reasonable option would be to buy an electric bike but it's extremely expensive and it wouldn't solve the other problem. Since there are no bike lanes, cyclists have to use regular roads and exercising in the middle of exhaust fumes trying not to get killed by a car is not an appealing idea...

« Last Edit: April 30, 2017, 09:06:40 PM by Minelauva »


Anata no Koto wa Sorehodo (ed): ch.5 to be cleaned
Futagashira (ed): ch. 7 to be cleaned
Omi-sensei no binetsu (cl): -
Principal (ed): cleaning ch.26
Teketeke Rendezvous (ed): -

Hats

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #250 on: May 05, 2017, 06:32:41 PM »
Speaking of electric bikes, I still feel a pinch of regret (and a hole burned in my wallet) from buying the Sondors Thin. Last October I forked out another $800 to buy the MATE E-Bike from Indiegogo campaign, and itís BARELY being boxed and put into a shipping container this month. I think my life is full of these small moments of regret, LOL.

This week Iím on a translating HIGH. I am probably at my best this week than Iíve been for the past year. Iím not sure why translating has become easier for me than it usually would be. I guess Iím pretty happy with myself right now.

So, for once, this would be my ďbest thingĒ rather than my ďworst thingĒ today.  :blush:
In Progress : [Translating]
& Vol.5, ch25-26 TLcheck: in progress
3 AM Terrible Zone Vol.1, ch04-06: in progress
Ane no Kekkon Vol.4,ch19-24: in progress
Futago Vol.1, ch01-05v2, Vol.5, ch25&extras: in progress
Heartbroken Chocolatier Vol.2, ch06: in progress
Love Master X Vol.1, ch03-ch05: in progress
Nina My Love Vol.3, ch.21: in progress
Suppli Vol.1,ch03-06: in progress
Teke Teke Rendezvous Vol.2, ch17: in progress
Toribako House Vol.1, ch08: in progress

Minelauva

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #251 on: May 06, 2017, 08:06:24 PM »
I was also quite productive during my break. I haven't worked through all my backlog yet but I'm getting there. :hero:

Speaking of temptation and regrets, I'm trying really hard not to buy a new phone. Mine still works perfectly well but it's a Lumia. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it... There are literally no apps on Windows Phone. I guess two years ago, it wasn't such a big deal but my phone has gradually become an extension of my laptop. It's crazy how easy it is to get used to this kind of things... I'm really tempted to buy an Iphone SE but I will probably regret spending more than 300Ä on a phone...  :dang:


Anata no Koto wa Sorehodo (ed): ch.5 to be cleaned
Futagashira (ed): ch. 7 to be cleaned
Omi-sensei no binetsu (cl): -
Principal (ed): cleaning ch.26
Teketeke Rendezvous (ed): -

Hats

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #252 on: May 16, 2017, 04:38:47 PM »
I only use my phone to call or text people. My nephew's teenager friends had to explain Snapchat to me... When I said, "What's the difference between that and texting?" They both shook their heads, like I was an adorable, senile old lady, whom they needed to help get across the street.  :bymaself:

Honestly, Caro, if you use the apps, then get the phone. As long as you get your money's worth out of it.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2017, 04:43:02 PM by Hats »
In Progress : [Translating]
& Vol.5, ch25-26 TLcheck: in progress
3 AM Terrible Zone Vol.1, ch04-06: in progress
Ane no Kekkon Vol.4,ch19-24: in progress
Futago Vol.1, ch01-05v2, Vol.5, ch25&extras: in progress
Heartbroken Chocolatier Vol.2, ch06: in progress
Love Master X Vol.1, ch03-ch05: in progress
Nina My Love Vol.3, ch.21: in progress
Suppli Vol.1,ch03-06: in progress
Teke Teke Rendezvous Vol.2, ch17: in progress
Toribako House Vol.1, ch08: in progress

Kusa

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #253 on: June 03, 2017, 04:05:50 AM »
@Hats: I love NHK!

@Caro: I understand how you feel... I've been tempted lately to buy myself one of those wake up light alarms, which gradually increase brightness to peak mid-aft light according to the time you program so you wake up peacefully. Also a brow pencil. And it hurts to walk around in Forever 21 and see all these cute clothes I could wear. Ah, materialism.

I've been out of it too much recently. I want to get things done so I can be an impressive young woman who does things (as opposed to a flat out unimpressive young woman who lies around all day) but I find a lot of my mental energy going into relationships and guys. I wish I could keep my head on straight.

I'm signing up for a figure drawing class in my local college and also maybe a swimming class, or some other PE class! It might be tough to do on top of my software eng studies but I want to pursue my creative interests a little more seriously. and be fit :P

cocoyam

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Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
« Reply #254 on: June 06, 2017, 07:54:17 PM »
I went out with my co-workers last Thursday, somewhat grudgingly to appease the organizer. I had planned on going home and skipping to take care of things around the house. I'm not very used to social drinking outings. It was strange to see my co-workers all get drunk and start acting like fools (drunk). I find it to be a peculiar adult social contract, like "hey, we're all going to get drunk so we can reveal a bit of ourselves to each other instead of being stifled like normal." It was also the first time I got a bit drunk, though I still felt fairly sensible compared to my co-workers, just that both mental and motor skills were slower. I'm surprised I didn't get more drunk considering my alcohol tolerance and the amount I was consuming, but maybe I was pacing myself a bit more than others, and it was a fluke sort of thing because I ate before or something.

In some ways, it was good thing, because I haven't felt very comfortable around my co-workers recently and it's good to bond and feel like you were able to be vulnerable around them. Still, I witnessed / experienced some strange things, like drunk advice, random hugging circles and an older co-worker I wouldn't expect making moves on me doing just that. I guess it's comforting to see people you know drunk. It makes you feel better about not feeling like you have your shit together, because you're witnessing other ppl that normally do (have their stuff together) in the same state.

It's hard for me to pin down in less than vague terms what's making me depressed (and it's been hard to relate it to other ppl, such as my drunk but well-meaning co-worker or my manager in 1:1 settings). Something around lack of agency, lack of motivation, living with my mom, and compromising on lifestyle desires because of values, but also why so sad? It's something I meant to sort out when I have time since it's gotten to be a bit of a thing, but maybe here isn't the right place to write a long meandering post to contemplate it.

I also went to meet with a schoolmate and his manager at work at a more hip tech company because she randomly found my social media profile while trolling social media and found it a worthwhile prospect to meet / network with me as one of the young engineers she regularly reaches out to. It was a bit awkward in that I found I was taking a very measured, gentle tone to match hers and I'm not sure how it came across, and my classmate who knows I'm not always like that was there. :umm: But she was nice and made me think ah, here is a manager that would be good to work for (aka a special breed not available to most, whether at my company or at other places). I'm not sure about switching co.s yet because there are diff. factors to take into account, but it makes you wonder if you should jump ship if you can work for/under the guidance of someone like that.

She also gave a bit of advice, things like what areas are useful to study (network, security, distributed systems) and trying out projects in diff. areas as possible.

There's more that's been going on but it's probably not all worth relating, so I'll wrap it up there. :P

EDIT: Eh, guess I might as well since I have time. When giving drunk advice, my drunk co-worker wanted to give dating advice, so asked me if I've been up to anything. But as I told him, I haven't really felt like engaging in the dating scene much because I mostly find it to be a chore. I know there's a chance I'll meet someone that's more engaging and form a connection with that person, but I don't feel the need to go seek that romantic connection or relationship out. I'm the opposite of Kusa in some ways and it might be because I have her around, too.

But I recently ended up matching with someone that seems moderately interesting on a dating app, who's an inline skater (<--- Kusa and I have both been interested in that sport recently). That's pretty cool, and I guess he's also trying to become a software eng, and unfortunately French (I work at a French co, went to a French-founded software eng school). I was thinking to meet up with him and maybe intro him to my French connections since he's in the area by coincidence for networking purposes. But it doesn't seem liking the timing is super convenient and I'm also more tired/reserved today because somehow I wasn't able to get more than a good hour or two of sleep yesterday (I experience fickle insomnia). To be honest, was a bit trepidatious to try and introduce this person I'm not familiar with to co-workers I'm also not super familiar with. >_< But he does seem to be fairly good-looking. :scratch:

That's all -- for now, anyway. :P
« Last Edit: June 06, 2017, 08:09:54 PM by cocoyam »