Stiletto Heels/team

Off Topic / Sharing / Venting => &$%#^! => Topic started by: Minelauva on September 03, 2014, 01:31:15 AM

Title: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 03, 2014, 01:31:15 AM
The title says it all. Come here to rant about your day.


The AC in our residence is broken and as a result, it's so hot that I can't sleep. I keep waking up. :hot: I'm so tired.
What's frustrating is that even though the weather is hot and humid, it's not that bad. But it's far hotter inside our house than outside.
However, today, I also got a gift voucher to buy food. Free food! :yesss:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 05, 2014, 07:05:05 AM
I know this is, like, really insignificant, but my wireless mouse ran out of batteries, and I don't have any in stock, so I have to do stuff without the mouse until tomorrow evening, grr.

But on the other hand my sister cleaned out the house and found my favorite pair of shoes that had gone missing for a year.

OK, that makes TWO really insignificant things, but I thrive on those moments.  :eto:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 05, 2014, 09:33:22 PM
Oh, that's great. A couple of years ago, one of my favourite t-shirts mysteriously disappeared. I never found it again.  I still haven't gotten over it.

Otherwise, since this week was my first week of class, our professors have been telling us what textbooks to buy and I'm horrified at their price. Today, I found out one of my textbook cost $273 and I don't think any of the textbooks I'm required to buy costs less than $100 when new. And I thought textbooks in France where expensive. This is crazy.  :lostit:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 05, 2014, 11:04:27 PM
Wow school is so damn expensive.. and here I am wanting to go back and take some courses!

My tires blew this morning and my weekend is so packed. When will I get a day of rest?!
But the highlight is my baby brother called me. I have been so estranged from my family that I nearly broke down crying from joy.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 06, 2014, 01:38:07 AM
It hasn't gotten better since your brother's marriage? It must be hard.
However, while I don't have any problems with my family, I know my brothers wouldn't call me and I wouldn't call them either, unless something important had happened. I'm closer to my younger sister, even though she's nine years younger than me. It must be because we're the only girls in the family. If one of my brother called me just to talk, I would probably get worried about him and start to wonder if he's all right.  :sado3:

School really is expensive in North America, but if it's useful and you can afford it, it's worth it. However, my textbooks are probably among the most expensive since I'm registered in an MBA program while in Canada. Depending on which courses you want to take, your books might be a lot cheaper. And I think it's possible to rent them through Amazon in the US. But there's still the tuition to pay, and the cost of the books is usually nothing compared to that.  :umm:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 06, 2014, 04:17:36 AM
Whoa, whoa, whoa. An MBA program can get ridiculously expensive. For me, it would be crippling.  :umm: You must be pretty smart though. I don't think I'd have the tenacity for an MBA. I have the attention span equivalent to a goldfish, seriously. Did your parents save any money up for tuition? What about financial aid or scholarships?

And, no, I'm not really talking to my brother (the one who got married), but it's not out of resentment anymore. I really do have too much to do, and so does he. I shook his hand and congratulated him at his wedding, and we did genuinely part on good terms, if not as friends. I hate being one of those people who say that his wife got in the way, but she did, and I can't really blame her now that I think it through. I guess, she should be the one who is "closer" to him than his sister, and it must have hurt her feelings to hear everyone saying how me and my brother were so close. His last words to me were: "I love her, and I have to consider her feelings. You understand, don't you?"

My youngest brother, the fifteen year old, confides in me like a mom, lol. We're 14 years apart. What he told me today was that he broke up with his girlfriend, and that he's still trying to find the right person, and then he wanted to know if we could hang out sometime. So sweet.  :puppyeye: I remember that I had moved out of the house for two years because me and my mom couldn't get along, and then when I moved back in, he was already nine years old, and he was that little boy laying on the carpet in my room lamenting about how, "Life without you would be boring." So freaking sweet. :puppyeye:

It's weird how out of five kids, I'm the only one who doesn't want to get married though. (Which is probably why my boyfriends keep leaving me, lol.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on September 06, 2014, 08:36:20 AM
Isn't that nice? Guys know the value of having siblings... T_T

Well, I don't really know since here everyone lives so family oriented. It's a big NO for an unmarried young person to live apart from the family especially for the girls... >.> You know what I mean...? So I really don't understand these kind of stuff but I'm sure I'd call my bro every other day if I had one. And no... that's not stalking... It's the normal way of life here... :hahaha:  I should admit that sometimes it gets to that stalking point though... especially if he's married...  Like when the mother-in-law decides that you shouldn't go on a trip at this time of year, and that's the start point of war in both families... XD And they ask me why you don't get married... >.>

Speaking of marriage, once a person told me when God makes you marry to a person, God himself gives you the power to tolerate him/her! I wish I could get convinced by that... :bymaself:

Btw, Minelauva, whoa... You registered for an MBA program...? And how long are you staying in Canada? It takes two years, right?
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 06, 2014, 06:16:43 PM
I'm only staying for four months (until the end of December). I came to Canada as an exchange student, in order to get my degree. In France, I'm registered in a regular Master's degree (but it doesn't really work like in North America so it's a bit difficult to compare). It's not as expensive as an MBA would be but it's still very expensive though. If my parents weren't helping me financially, I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm really grateful to them.  :blush:

When I first arrived, last week, I felt so lonely. I wasn't used to feeling that way anymore. It must have been because I was in an unfamiliar environment. It's getting better, now that my classes have started. Being able to talk to my family and see them with Skype is a great support too. I love how one of my younger brothers never says much, if anything at all, when I call them, but is always around to watch me.  :puppyeye:

As for me, I don't really understand how someone could sacrifice their relationship with one of their siblings out of love for another person but that's personal. If you're fine with it, it's all that matters.
Your younger brother is so touching though.

Lilanar, I can't help thinking that it must be nice to live in a place where family is so important but at times, it must be annoying. I love the times my family get to spend together, especially since most of the time, it's during the holidays, but it tends to create tensions too. I like being able to live apart from my family, because it reminds me how important they are to me, in spite of their annoying aspects.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on September 08, 2014, 03:25:13 PM
Oh, I remembered now. European unis have that exchange student program... How fancy... I know three students from Austria and they all chose to go to Australia, and a distanced family who lives in Germany who chose to go to China... And should I admit I envied them? It's such a good chance for the students to have a experience in other unis with different language and culture. I wish you good luck... Bonne Chance? ;D

Well, about that topic about living with the family, now at this age I personally want to live apart and get fully independent but not that apart that I can't see them at least every week. I can't change that. That's something rooted deep in our culture, though everything is changing here too, with increase in problems and difficulties every family is facing, people are getting distanced. Especially for people in my country that have a big rate of immigrations to other countries. Anyway... Today something funny happened to me and I was going to rant...  XD

Just two days ago, exactly two days, I thought to myself I'm less daydreaming these days and am not making the mistakes I used to... Like the time I put the teapot in the fridge and in the evening no one could find it, even myself... or when I went to my bathroom with the milk pack in my hand, just to realize the fridge is not in the bathroom... or when I mistakenly wrote down my friend's name on my own test sheet on an exam day... or when I was late for my class so I rushed on the stairs just to realize my shoes are still on the floor and I myself am on the third stair... (Damn the super comfy shoes, they were too soft after all...) and so on...  :poutpout:

Yeah... two days ago I was convinced that I'm becoming a normal person of the society. And today I needed to get my purse from my bag and right when I opened it... "Ewww... ugh..." I totally forgot that a week ago I went to a restaurant. They make delicious olive pickles there. It's not actually pickles, but it's the best name I can find for it. They flavor olives with Pomegranate sauce and walnut. So I ordered two packs... eat one of them there and put the other in my bag to bring home... and damn... I forgot. The Lid has broken and it has spilled out and made such a scene...  I washed everything but it's still smelling like olives and the sauce...  :shaded:

Conclusion.... I better not get my hopes up...

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 08, 2014, 05:03:31 PM
Oh, it must have been awful. That's totally the kind of thing I could have done. I tend to be easily distracted too, and when I'm tired on top of that, it becomes something else. I have to be careful when I walk on the street because I tend not to look properly where I'm going. The other day, I almost run into a guy who was skateboarding at full speed when I tried to cross the street. And I wouldn't be able to count the number of times I put orange juice on my cereals and milk in my glass in the morning. Cereals with orange juice taste very bad.  :umm:
But it got better with time so I haven't lost hope yet. When I was a child, it was worse. I regularly went to school wearing the slippers I wore at home, and/or without my bag. And most of the time, I didn't realize it until I had almost arrived, so I had to run home as fast as possible in order not to be too late. Fortunately, I was a good runner. When I was in junior high school, I got several hours of detention because I kept forgetting my books. I thought it was so unfair!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on September 09, 2014, 11:51:25 AM
Excuse me Minelauva, can I laugh a little? XD Dunno how you didn't notice the slippers until near the school, but the image coming to my mind reading that was sweetly funny...

Well, dear I have a long list of things like that too, I think one day I should write them down and keep them safe. I used to get kinda sad, because I guess I know what made me to almost unintentionally go back into my mind and not notice my surroundings at times. But now I call them the sweet moments of life. After one of those goofy moments, I said this to mom and she gave me a weird look, I told her just imagine how much we're going to laugh at this moment two days later...  :hahaha:

I'm not getting better with age, only the mistakes are changing... But it's absolutely dangerous to daydream on the street, I've had three times accident when I was crossing the street. It wasn't my fault though. I was walking in the crosswalk but drivers here don't even know the purpose of those stripes. One of them was a motorcycle rider who hit me very badly.

I shouted at him:  "hey, I'm on the crosswalk"
He answered back with an annoyed voice: "So what?"
Trying to keep my calm, I said: "It means the pedestrian has the right to cross first."
He answered with a real surprised voice: "Who says that?"

He wasn't joking, he was serious and had no idea that those lines are not just decorations!! I want to leave here... :dang:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 09, 2014, 10:07:14 PM
Lol. It reminds me of the time I went to an African country on holidays and a local told us: "there's no Road Code here". (I'm not sure how it's called in English so I translated it litterally from French).

I'm currently looking for an internship and as expected, it's not fun at all. It's very stressful and I hate writing cover letters (who doesn't?). And that's only the beginning of the process...  Being an adult has its good sides but sometimes, I wish I could go back in time. :shitsuhula:

Oh, and I got some bad news at the end of last week, or rather, some frustrating news. Since I will only stay in Canada for four months, I have been looking for the best solution cellphone-wise : I can't keep using my french phone, it would be too expensive, but I can't suscribe to one of the classic canadian two-year plans neither (and they're too expensive to my taste anyway). So I thought prepaid was the solution. I had my phone unlocked so I could use it with another operator, bought a new Sim card and some credit. I was rather glad since I had what I needded : illimited texts to/from Canada and abroad, but I had a disappointment coming my way. It turns out that my cellphone is not compatible and can't work here. I will have to buy another one. I don't need another cellphone ! And I certainly don't need the extra expense, not right now.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 10, 2014, 02:42:52 AM
I was trying not to crack up at you guys, but you two are just too funny!  :hahaha:
I have to add one more thing and that even though we're the senior members on the team, we three happen to always be in the venting thread...

I actually caught a cold the other day. It doesn't make any sense because it's summer, and cold is like the opposite of hot, but there I was very feverish on Monday night. I was so out of it that I couldn't find my phone this morning, so I couldn't call my boss to let him know I wouldn't be coming in for work. Turns out, I was sleeping on it the whole time, and the phone was on silent. Good thing he wasn't mad at me. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 10, 2014, 10:00:50 PM
I think us being senior members is precisely the reason why we're the only ones posting in the venting thread. :D It creates a link. Sharing your life with virtual strangers must be intimidating. And reading what we write probably isn't helping   :cheesy:

Talking about seniority, I love how my title, Head Editor, makes me appear important and competent.  :kekeke:

Anyway, tonight, there is an event at my uni. It's will be great. It's a mocktail (cocktail without alcool) competition. Each team has to create one, inspired by a fairytale, and bring costumes, decorations, to go with it. But I have to admit that what convinced me to go is that there will be free pizzas. I have reached a point where I'm so broke that the promise of free food can convince me to go to an event.  :bymaself:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: SwirlyOwl on September 11, 2014, 11:35:43 PM
Now, today is my worst day of my life. :wahhh: I was about to put my laptop away on a table next to me. It actually fell to the floor (no, it wasn't a carpet,  yes, it's a freakin' tiled floor).   :umm:

Now my laptop is not working, the screen is cracked and only can see white with various colors across the screen. And even worse, this is a brand new laptop that I bought back in Feb. I can't do anything right now (no working on manga) etc.

And hope for the best that it won't cost too much money to replace the screen or having to wait too long to work on my chapters.

Now I'm going off and pout a little bit.   :wahhh: :mad: :whatdidu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 12, 2014, 12:31:20 AM
Ooh...  :sado3: I don't know what I would do without my laptop. Luckily, there haven't been any accidents with mine and it has resisted quite well until now. But it is starting to show signs of aging...
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 12, 2014, 12:34:18 AM
Oh nooooooo swirly that is absolutely the worst!  :headfirst:
Don't panic over the chapters though since we're not too far behind. But I would totally hate for that to happen to me.

Caro my laptop is too. I'm already suspecting I need to move all my stuff into the extra hd for backup.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 13, 2014, 05:42:49 PM
I will have to do that too, even if it's going to take some time. I would hate losing my data if my laptop broke down.

Yesterday, I went out with friends. I had some poutine for the first time. It was probably the first time since I arrived in Ontario that I was genuinely glad to be here and not somewhere else.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 16, 2014, 07:24:54 PM
Ha! After having had to go through the hottest day of the year with a broken AC, it was finally replaced today. It's not even 20°C outside. I'm freezing.  :umm:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 22, 2014, 06:08:53 PM
Yesterday my nephew was grounded for a week because he bought me a drink to repay for the two drinks I bought him. I was so confused because I took my sister's family, nephew included, to dinner the night before. I did not receive a thank you from her husband. Anyway last night my nephew explained to me in private that his dad was upset that during one dinner my nephew brought me water to drink without my asking. As you can see, it's kind of illogical and  weird that a kid should be punished for being nice to his aunt just because his dad is jealous. I'm going to move out on my own next year. I took them in to live with me because this guy was out of a job, but now that he's working, he was secretly discussing moving. It hurts my feelings that he told me he considered me his real sister, but behind my back he's telling his son that I'm not family so he shouldn't treat me better than his own dad. :poutpout:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 22, 2014, 07:37:09 PM
Ooh, if I could hug you, I would :headbite:
I understand what you're feeling. But moving out on your own if you can afford it is probably a good solution. Even within a family, there are tensions when people live together, no matter how much they love each other, and the fact that your sister's husband is not related to you by blood probably doesn't help.
It's probably going to be weird at first to live on your own after having been surrounded by other people for several years, but it has its advantages.

Hmm, otherwise, I just wanted to share a small insignificant fact that I find nonetheless rather annoying: milk (and by extension dairy products) is so expensive in Canada! In France, 1L of milk doesn't cost more than $1. In Canada, the average price is $3. At first, I thought it was a joke. :electrified:
(And sadly, I drink milk every day).
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 22, 2014, 08:24:51 PM
I've lived on my own before actually. I moved out when I was 22. It's not a problem as I do have a bit of savings left behind. The only thing is its so hard finding an affordable place that will accept cats, and on top of that I have two!

Milk is about the same here in California so the annoyance is completely mutual.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 23, 2014, 01:28:40 AM
I finally have a working Canadian cell phone. Hallelujah! :yesss:
I almost fainted when I saw my phone bill for last month. And I had been severely restraining myself.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 26, 2014, 12:43:12 AM
Glad you finally have access to a phone. On the other hand, I will be without one until I can afford to pay it again. So short on cash lately, it's starting to feel like when I was in college.  :uhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 30, 2014, 06:23:45 PM
Haa, unfortunately, I absolutely need a cellphone. I seriously wondered if I could do without one and the answer was no. I need to be able to communicate with my classmates easily. It's hard enough to be the only one not to have access to data on my phone... But I really could have done without the extra expense.  :wahhh: I'm trying to save some money to rent a car and visit some of the parks of Ontario during my October holiday. It's something I really want to do but it won't be cheap. I'm sure it will be worth it though.  :ohh:

Otherwise, this weekend, I had the chance to have a working internet connection and was able to have a long conversation over Skype with my family but yesterday evening, nada. It's so annoying. On the bright side of things, it allowed me to finish cleaning the first chapter of Futagashira.

Oh, and my mother told me she planned to send me a package for my birthday, on October 8th. She got me curious when she told me she had found a book she was sure I would like. I wonder what it is...  :whatwhat:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on October 07, 2014, 12:28:21 AM
Best thing that happened to me today: After weeks of trying and bugging the residence staff about it, I was finally able to open my mailbox.  :kekeke:
It turns out that I just hadn't pushed the key far enough in the lock.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Uriel on October 08, 2014, 11:20:31 AM
Our mailbox has a lock but we never received a key for it, so it's perpetually unlocked.. Which is just as well because I always seem to struggle with keys and doors and handles! I fear I would find myself in a similar situation to you, Mine!

Our postal service now sends email notifications when packages are sent to us, and today it informed me I have a package on the way! I get a liiiittle too excited about waiting for mail, it feels just like Christmas!  :cheesy:

I have my own tale if woe to add to the laptop disasters.. My laptop's battery kicked the bucket last Friday, so now I'm restricted to my phone for web access and editing is on hold until previously mentioned package arrives! I'm a horrendously slow typer on my phone, so I fear I've regressed to snail's pace with the interwebs!  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 10, 2014, 07:59:48 AM
 :ohh:
Just a caveat I'm probably going to start posting here regularly, just so no one gets knocked over with the shock of a sudden stranger inserting themself into here. Could it be, I'm the first non-staff(ish) member to post in this forum?? hoho

This is kind of embarrassing, but I periodically get compulsive about virtual pet sites. Today I spent at least 4 hours on subeta restocking like a zombie, when I have a lot on my plate for school, waiting for me... The guilt of knowing that and still having splurged all my time anyway, is supreme. Also until now my sister had only looked at me in derision for this inane hobby of mine, but today she got drawn into it after watching me and started matching my zombie-like countenance, going click click  click click....

 :huh:

It's ironic but it's also really sad, like, she shouldn't get sucked into it. orz Yeah, so that's been the worst part of my day. The highlight of my day was my dinner date with my sis, which involved us yammering off at each other endlessly about everything. Sometimes we get excessively effusive in our conversations.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 10, 2014, 11:02:11 PM
Kusa, don't worry. I totally get the excessively effusive conversations bit with the sis. I just came home from a sushi date with mine. The waitresses pretended not to notice us being totally stupid together, and the waiters kept looking at me periodically because I was cracking up so hard. Best thing that happened to me today, but probably the worst for the waiters and waitresses.  :wahaha:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 15, 2014, 02:07:04 AM
My cat's gone missing, and I know it's just a cat but he's old and having to QC the story in Himawari where the cat went missing only makes me panic more.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: badzphoto on October 15, 2014, 07:00:43 PM
@Hats, I hope your cat will return soon.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on October 22, 2014, 01:33:03 AM
I just got back from an amazing trip to Montreal and Ottawa. I especially loved Montreal. My increasing workload, the arrival of fall, rain and short days made me feel depressed. I needed to get away for a few days, get a change of air. I got what I wanted. I feel completely refreshed. I love travelling. Discovering new places, spending hours on the road, feeling like I don't really belong anywhere anymore, sleeping in hostels, in big houses with different people every night and having the feeling I've found a new family at least for the night. I just got back, feeling a bit depressed at the idea of going back to my daily life and found out that the package my parents sent me for my birthday, at the beginning of the month, just arrived. They got me a very beautiful book of French poetry.  :ohh:

Edit: Also, I have two midterms this week. It just never ends.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 28, 2014, 05:20:18 AM
Midterms...!  :umm: Good luck with that. (Or was I supposed to say, "Study hard?") Your parents sound like lovely people though. A book of French poetry is music to my ears.

As for me, I am currently under a lot of stress. I haven't been writing for almost a year. Experiencing severe writer's block. I've just been writing bits and pieces for a script, and haven't gone back to work on the short story collection I've been hacking away at furiously at for the past year. At this rate, I'll never be published.

I am also finding it hard to get into the mood to do scanlations. Why oh why is there so much drama in my life WHYYYYYYYYYY? But I'll try and get this stuff done on time. For the love of pete, I have to get something done! /crawls back to finish a script.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on October 28, 2014, 06:59:31 PM
Quote
A book of French poetry is music to my ears.

My parents know me well.  :cheesy:

Unfortunately, there's not much I can do to help with your writer's block. I hope it will get better if you keep trying. I will be the first to buy your book if you get published.
Tell me if there's something I can do to help scanlation wise. Otherwise, take your time. The projects are not going away.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: SwirlyOwl on October 28, 2014, 08:01:36 PM
Hats, sorry to hear whatever is going on in your life is causing you some stress. Hope it will get better soon. As for your writing, don't push yourself too hard or worry about it too much. It will come to you when you least expect it. Be patient and go into your "zen place". *grins*  All you can do is keep moving forward and focus on other things.

As for projects, take your time and don't worry about it too much. Like what Minelauva said, we are not going away or the projects are not going away. Take one thing at a time. Take a step back and take a deeeeep breath, you will work on scanlations when you feel like it.

Hope it helps.  :drooly:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on October 29, 2014, 12:49:25 AM
On another note, I'm also experiencing writer's block, but on a school assignment. I'm not inspired by the topic of the essay and don't know how I'm going to manage to write something not too bland. But in this case, having a deadline helps. I've been procrastinating for hours, looking for ideas but now, I have to actually start writing. I have to get this done tonight no matter what!  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on October 29, 2014, 07:45:10 AM
As for me, I am currently under a lot of stress. I haven't been writing for almost a year. Experiencing severe writer's block. I've just been writing bits and pieces for a script, and haven't gone back to work on the short story collection I've been hacking away at furiously at for the past year. At this rate, I'll never be published.

I am also finding it hard to get into the mood to do scanlations. Why oh why is there so much drama in my life WHYYYYYYYYYY? But I'll try and get this stuff done on time. For the love of pete, I have to get something done! /crawls back to finish a script.
Ah, Hats just as Minelauva and SwirlyOwl said, don't worry about the scanlation process. It's supposed to be a hobby or something we do as fun. Take it easy girl.

I wish to read your writings too. I'm usually waiting for your posts on blog and I was really thinking this person has the potential to be a writer, I really wished to see you try it. Now I see you were actually into the job... So very happy to hear... ;D Wish I also get a chance to see it when you're back to your pace and top condition of life.

Don't worry about dramas in life, they're there to burnish our patience and make some fun of us... At least that's how I look at it when I'm not mocked that badly by them in a while. ;D Lately I was thinking the same, since my father had to go to hospital, his only eye that isn't blind got hazy all of sudden. It got us all really shocked and desperate for a day. He got better in 24 hours though and just today someone called us and told a very ugly story of a close relative's family... Made me think to myself, God, please don't get tired of my once in a while blabberings... -.-;;

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 30, 2014, 12:37:33 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, Lila. Hope it's not serious. They should check more thoroughly. He could just have tired out his eyes though.

My good news is that I found an unfinished old story I was working on ages ago.  Now I have something worth thinking about. :ohh:
Quote from: Bonfire
PART TWO: MEMORIES
_

Prologue

In our room, we knelt in our underwear.

“We’re supposed to get dressed,” I said. “Dad told us.” I looked over toward the bed. Our mourning attire lay flat on the covers, side by side, like dark bodies ironed out, headless.

“Let’s offer a prayer,” you said.

You had your palms together, your eyes shut. The smooth lids of your eyes trembled slightly. You said - What did you say? Oh, yeah. You said, "I'll never be happy."

You said: "It ends here."
___

Chapter 1: Bonfire

"You got a lighter?" Eve says.

I shake my head.

"Of course not.” She slaps her forehead. "Of course you wouldn't. You're only a kid, and kids shouldn't have lighters anyway." She is propped up against a wall of our room, novel in one hand, and pen in the other. I read the title: Norwegian Wood, by Haruki Murakami. The oscillating fan oscillates. Once in a while, her bangs flutter. A sweat drop zigzags down towards the open button of her blouse. She scratches behind her left ear with her pen.

“’Norwegian Wood’ was a Beatles’ song. Do you know The Beatles?" she says.

I shrug.

“Well, you know what? That's okay. I don't either. But I do know this song. Every time I go to that old record shop…You know, the one downtown? Well, I always ask the old guy to play it for me. He has an actual record player, you know?” She pauses momentarily, eyebrows furrowed, before musing aloud, “Or was it 'A Day in the Life'?”

I scratch my left elbow.

“Anyway John Lennon wrote this song. It's a good song." She starts to hum the tune, her version of “Norwegian Wood”, but gives up half way.

A few seconds later, she places the book down, and rummages through her purse. Out comes a tube of lip-gloss, an unused tampon, and - what is that? - a packet of Marlboro's. A quick tap proclaims it empty. Eve groans and crumples over, head thumping on the tatami mats. Under the oscillations of the fan, her bangs flutter madly, like angry butterflies.

“Shit, I need a smoke."
___

“Let’ blow this joint," she says. “We don't need to take this shit, right, Beat?"

“Yeah," I say. “We don't need to take this shit."

“Don’t teach her to say 'shit'," our Old Man mumbles. The cigarette in his mouth dangles mercilessly like a broken door hinge.

“She isn't listening to you anymore," Eve says. “Right, Beat?"

I shake my head, No. She smiles. Then, turning her attention back to our Old Man, her dark eyes flaring, she says, “We’re leaving."

Our Old Man leans back on the couch. He is shirtless. His right leg is propped up on the coffee table. He is smoking through his nostrils. He picks up a soiled music sheet. I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn't. These days, he doesn't say much at all.

“Come on, Beat, we're going," Eve says.

She picks up her duffel bag in one arm, and then grabs a hold of mine with another. Her fingernails, painted a vivid red, dig into the flesh of my arm. I cringe. We head toward the door, when our Old Man says, slowly, as if coming out of a heavy fog, "When’ll you be back?"

"We're not coming back, you old goon!" Eve shouts, before slamming the door behind her.

On the other side, very faintly, I hear the strumming of a guitar.
___

“That goon, that twit!" Eve slams the car door shut on her side. She glances at me, and her eyes soften just a bit.

“Buckled in?" she says. I am not buckled in, so she leans over and grabs the seat belt, dragging it across my chest and snaps it into place.

“He’s crazy! You'd think he'd get his head out of the clouds by now and come chasing after us, but no! All he cares about is his freaking guitar. To hell with his music! He's a lousy player, anyway."

“But I like when he plays," I say. “It sounds like a rumbling engine.”

Eve frowns, but says nothing.

Through the closed windows, I can hear the shrill chirping of crickets.

“You hungry?" she says.

“Not really."

“Well, where do you want to go?"

I shrug.

“You’re not being real helpful here, you know?"

I scrunch my eyebrows.

She sighs.

“Okay,” she says, "I know just the place. Well, it's the only place I know in this godforsaken city, so that's good enough for me. Is it all right with you?"

I nod.

Eve turns the keys in the ignition, and the familiar mechanical humming of her old ’91 hatchback Celica cradles us in our seats. “All right, let's go," she says. We take off, with her foot heavy on the gas pedal. The lights in the city streak by us like bright, colored plumes.

There is only one place we know of in this “godforsaken” city. In the thick darkness, darkness one can taste at the tip of the tongue, we drove ourselves up Signal Hill.
___

Eve begins setting up for a well-sized fire. She says, a bonfire will cleanse the soul. “Like smoking a million cigarettes.” And then adds after some thought, “Filtered."

“But smoking can kill you," I tell her. “You can get -”

She sighs. “Gather up some twigs, will you? We can't start the bonfire without anything."

But ten minutes of shuffling through darkness unearths nothing but a few scraggly twigs. Eve spots a lonely bush huddled on the side of the dusty road overlooking a field of grasshopper-shaped drilling rigs. “A bush it is then,” she says.

Eve takes out a lighter and flicks it on. A bluish flame snuffs up. A few yards away from us, the drilling rigs dig for oil that isn't there. Eve turns to face the nearest one, and says: “Old Grasshopper Sir."

She slaps her palms together, so I do the same. Old Grasshopper Sir dips his head to us in reply.

“We are gathered here today in front of your peeling, green corpse to stake claim over this hill. Amen."

She nudges me in the ribs.

“Amen," I chirp.

She bends over, holding the lighter down toward the bush, and – whoosh! - like magic, it flares up. My heart clenches, unclenches.

At first, Eve is merely walking, one foot at a time, measuring out her steps, going around and around the bush. I follow. Soon, she is doing a twist, her hands up in the air. I follow. We find ourselves dancing, shaking our limbs, rocking our heads from side to side. We dance around that bonfire like possessed Indians.

Later, we stand quietly, hand in hand, mesmerized by the flames.

Eve says, over the crackling of the flames, “People are drawn to fires, you know, like moths."

“What about butterflies?" I ask.

She shakes her head. “There’s something burning inside of us, just like the burning in a bonfire. We’re all looking for an answer to a question.”

Eve continues gazing at the bonfire for a long time. I tug on her hand.

“Can we go home yet?"

She says nothing, so I say nothing. Her expression is placid, her skin bathed in a deep, red glow. I wonder silently if it was from the fire, or from something within her frail body.

Then she closes her eyes.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Uriel on October 30, 2014, 04:43:04 AM
Mine, I hope you managd to finish your piece if writing with no drama in the end. That's such a familiar state of mind - knowing you have to relax so you can get it done, but stressing because that deadline is looming  :umm:

Megan, what a scare! I'm glad to hear he recovered quickly, things like that always put into perspective what the really important things in life are.

Hats - wowww! I love your style.. The vibe of your writing. Mmm, I'm left hungry for more.  :ohh:

We're getting some glorious weather here after a bit of a cold spell. Spent the afternoon at the library and then out in the shade by the next park.. Feeling grateful for my daughter's love of books and the beautiful sunshine that warms my heart..
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on October 30, 2014, 03:52:26 PM
Thank you guys, it seems he had an internal bleeding during night, so when woke up in the morning the blood clods were floating in the back of his eye, (called cornea??) hence the hazy eye sight. Doc said he has to wait for the clods to get absorbed slowly by the blood vessels. Somehow like the clods getting absorbed after one gets bruises on skin or something. Mom argued with him that he should never eat nuts(omega3), olives(vit. E) and pomegranate (vit C) all blood thinners (and available everywhere in our country) in one day. It seems he's going to listen this time. >.>

By the way Hats, thank you for posting the chapter. Really enjoyed reading it. It has your style shouting in it. But well, when you want to torture someone send a chapter 2 of a story and don't tell them the rest, huh? I love the characters, even though they look different than the normal people you encounter everyday. I guess the only thing that made my heart clench after reading was that I wanted to know more about the feelings and thoughts of the narrator to dive deeply into the story. <<My hobby.

Any plans to continue it? ;)

It reminds me you're the second person in my life that I really want to see continue writing. The first one was a friend in elementary school. She could write some literature pieces better than adults. In my childhood innocence and rightful thinking(there was a time like that) I was sure she would become a writer!! I didn't see her for years, then a year ago she called to see I'm alive or not. I asked her "you continued literature, right?" She said "oh, no. I'm an architect." (Note: She was really bad at art and drawing.) I said "Well, I'm sure as a hobby then?" She said with a high and mighty voice of the modern society "Oh, never, I'm too busy with my profession, you see?" I said "It's such a pity my friend." So she blindly persuaded the standard way that modern people set for their lives and call it the best.

I hope you continue it. Like an art, when it comes from the heart and gets accepted by the right person it gets published, if not, you've not lost anything, just took a step forward, ne? I can't wish the dramas in your life end, since dramas are glued to life, but I wish they get cleared enough to give you some time to persuade what you want in life. And that for all SH members too. -Amen!-  Nudges Hats in the ribs. LOL

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on October 30, 2014, 06:50:40 PM
Quote
Thank you guys, it seems he had an internal bleeding during night, so when woke up in the morning the blood clods were floating in the back of his eye, (called cornea??) hence the hazy eye sight. Doc said he has to wait for the clods to get absorbed slowly by the blood vessels. Somehow like the clods getting absorbed after one gets bruises on skin or something. Mom argued with him that he should never eat nuts(omega3), olives(vit. E) and pomegranate (vit C) all blood thinners (and available everywhere in our country) in one day. It seems he's going to listen this time. >.>

Lilanar, I hope your dad will get better, or that at least his existing problems won't get worse. I am very near-sighted and one of my worst fears is to get eye problems. Sadly, it is not completely irrational. My ophtalmologist mentioned to me that my strong near-sightedness is a risk factor for at least one problem (I'm not sure how it's called in english and I don't want to google it lol), and it probably won't get better as I get older. To make things worse, without being hypochondriac, I am very sensitive to the sight (or the idea) of blood and this kind of things, so the idea of getting eye problems make me panic.  :noway:

To comment on your friend's situation, I don't think it's necessarily a sad thing. People change as they grow up. In my opinion, maybe unless you're Arthur Rimbaud, becoming a writer is not so much a matter of raw talent as a matter of cultivating it year after year, and taking interest in it. In all modesty, when I was in elementary school, my teachers were constantly gushing about my talent for writing, and my imagination. They systematically read my pieces to the class, and I received countless advice about my future career choices ("You're meant to study litterature!", "Keep writing!" and so on). My dislike for maths, my love for reading and my tendency to daydream and be absent minded didn't help, because of the myth that people who have their head in the clouds are intellectuals. And, being a malleable child, I agreed with them. But as I grew up, I changed. I realized that I felt simply flattered by the compliments I received, that I didn't particularly love writing, not to the point where I could become a writer, be it as a hobby or as a profession, and that I certainly didn't want to study literature, or even humanities in general. But if my personality had been different, maybe I would have kept writing and I would have gotten something out of it, who knows?

Hats: I enjoyed reading the story you posted. It was easy to get caught up in it. I hope you will get to continue it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on November 12, 2014, 04:43:12 AM
Thanks, guys. I'm more into screenwriting, so this may be turned into a movie script instead. Not deluding myself into thinking that I'll be the next Spielberg, but I'd love to get into the Indie movie scene. My dad's first gift to me when I turned 10 was a camcorder, and I would write up scripts and audition the neighborhood kids for parts to such gems as "King Kong in Los Angeles" or "Phillip Lost His Eyeballs."  :wahaha:

I'm using a friend's PC. (Thank you, J!) So the best thing that's happened today is I am back.

Everyone seems to have filtered out of view. Where are you, staff?!

Hoping to see you all here again soon.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on November 12, 2014, 06:15:26 AM
 Thanks Minelauva dear. He went for a check up again. Doc said it's getting better slowly but he has to go for check up more frequently from now on...

About that thing with math and literature. I see what you mean. But you know in Asian countries becoming an engineer or physician is just a fad. Rarely anyone would go after their artistic or sport talent for example. They study engineering inland or abroad then call you after years to tell you they became one...!! There's a long way to think and act like a western Asian. Why do you think I'm running away?  :thisthis:

Quote
Everyone seems to have filtered out of view. Where are you, staff?!

:rolling: *Rolling right in front of Hats' nose*

Was busy with my grandma's anniversary preparations. It'll be in 2 weeks but my typical nosy aunt(I talked about on the website too) is on her way, so I have to be double prepared. She lives in another prefecture, so whenever she gets a chance to visit the capital and see us here, she scans us from head to toe and reminds us of our crooks. Mom says it's a blessing since at least once a year you'll take care of yourself properly like a woman at your age should. :lazybum:
She made her grand daughter get lash and nail implants and register in a fitness program after liposuction (at age 20)...  Just for the records our country has the second place of plastic surgery only after Brazil and that in this economical pinch. Again...
why do you think I'm running away?  :thisthis:  <<Seigi no mikata desu
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on November 12, 2014, 07:28:49 AM
Haha, lash implants sound pretty scary. I think Korea and Japan are way up there on the "plastic surgery addicted freaks" list too. It's pretty scary how common it is, and it makes me wonder whether all those beautiful Korean girls that I see in Korea Town are "real"... I've seen natural Korean women, especially when I'm chowing down on bibimbap at the local Korean eatery. They look nothing like these clones I see around lately who all mysteriously look like sisters and cousins.

Hopefully it's just the makeup.  :umm:

I'm glad to see you around, even if you're busy with the anni preparations. If the crazy aunt looks you from head to toe, return the favor, then give her your biggest smile but don't tell her what you're thinking.  It'll drive her nuts. :wildthought:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 12, 2014, 02:54:45 PM
Quote
If the crazy aunt looks you from head to toe, return the favor, then give her your biggest smile but don't tell her what you're thinking.  It'll drive her nuts. :wildthought:

Hahaha. That's a brilliant idea!  :kekeke:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 18, 2014, 05:08:36 AM
I keep getting headaches lately, apparently for no reason. It's not unusual for me but it has stopped for a while. I didn't miss them. :givenup:
On the bright side of things, we got the first snow of the season recently. It's so pretty!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on November 18, 2014, 06:21:06 AM
Snooooow.  :ohh: I've only seen snow on TV, lol. 
Hope your headaches go away soon. I get them a lot too, but thankfully they've gone away on their own. If I could give you advice I would, but I'm not even sure what I did to make myself feel better.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 18, 2014, 06:45:05 PM
I have a strong suspicion that in my case, the headaches are caffeine induced.  :wahaha:
I am thus faced with a dilemma: drink coffee, which I badly need, and risk getting headaches, or not drink coffee and stay headache free but coffee deprived.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 22, 2014, 02:40:32 AM
Quote
Snooooow.  :ohh: I've only seen snow on TV, lol. 

I come from a place where it snows regularly so I should be used to it but I'm still amazed everytime I see snow. I badly needed all this brightness. These short and dark days were beginning to depress me. Ihad a snow fight with friends. Without gloves. I should know better. At first, I thought the worst was when you stopped feeling your hands but it's actually when the feelings come back that it hurst the most.  :wahaha:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on November 30, 2014, 11:58:29 AM
Quote
If the crazy aunt looks you from head to toe, return the favor, then give her your biggest smile but don't tell her what you're thinking.  It'll drive her nuts. :wildthought:

Hahaha. That's a brilliant idea!  :kekeke:

you bad bad girls...  :wildthought: Just kidding... Auntie is already using that weapon, so I can't use the same thing, now can I? But I have developed my own. The big angelic smile is in the place but instead of keeping quiet you'll use your tongue the best way you can to say many things indirectly. There's a saying around here which says "Throw your words on the floor, the person in question will pick it up herself." There are many things you can say with an angelic smile that you can't with a straight face. :wildthought:

Mom says it's a blessing since at least once a year you'll take care of yourself properly like a woman at your age should.

Take care of yourself my... my... .... neck! In a slavedriving manner she made us clean every corner of grandma's house till everywhere would shine and blink. Then she said we have to wash the terrace next. I said "who would want to sit in the terrace in this cold weather?" She said "a woman should keep the house clean, if you're not helping I'll do it myself." and we started washing there with the freezing tap water on a crazy freezing day. The other day we woke up with a nasty cold. I'm still coughing after 2 weeks. 

After cleaning we had Granma's Persian rugs washed. People here can live in a house without TV or fridge but we can't live without our rugs... >.> Granma for instance had 14. We had 9 of them washed and you know what...? The company in charge of it ruined the rugs. They took a big money from us too!! We called the company again and they sent us 2 employees to check the rugs again. 2 shrewd macho men to be more exact. In the middle of arguing the face of one of them was getting reddish and his neck was getting thicker and thicker, and the veins under his neck started to pop out... Dad's male instincts were telling him to back off, but I was still cluelessly blurting out whatever coming to my mind. Oh girl, we were just about to get beaten up, I'm telling you.

Thankfully since things like this happen a lot(3rd world...), there's a syndicate in charge of these mishaps. So we sued them there for everything and still waiting to see what this syndicate is capable of.

Then it was time for auntie...  :flora4u:   She came and everything was going smoothly... On the last day just a few hours before she leaves with her hussy, dad fell in the bathroom. What I thought is the door smashing sound was actually my father's back crushing onto the toilet bowl. I told him "you're gonna break the record of hurting oneself in the shortest period." Well, what hurt the most was auntie's grin when she heard about it. She tried to turn her head so no one notices but it wasn't missed from my eyes after all...  :whatdidu: 

Took dad to hospital btw, his 5th disk is hurt but thank God it's not that serious. He walks in turtle speed but doc said he should be able to walk normally in 2 weeks if he really takes care of himself and listens to doc. Let's see if he can do that much!   :bymaself:

 
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 30, 2014, 07:33:36 PM
It seems like no love is lost between you and that aunt lol.

Thanks for sharing your misadventures with us anyway. You must be so angry about the rugs! I hope you will find a suitable solution.  :eto:

I've been busy lately too. When I feel down, tired or nervous, watching this scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB2yiIoEtXw) from Singin' in the rain never fails to cheer me up though.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 02, 2014, 04:49:21 AM
Lila, I know that what happened with your dad was serious but...if I could film that scene in a movie, I would. Your dad and aunt are just so interesting. Condolences to your dad though. I hope he takes it easy and will be on track to a fast recovery.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 12, 2014, 08:39:21 PM
A couple of days ago, I bought some new nailpolish. I was going for baby pink but misjudged the color under the artificial light and ended up with the brightest, gaudiest pink I have ever seen instead. At least, wearing it lifts my mood.  :hula:
Also, the latest developments on Reign are completely ridiculours, even more than what is typical of the show. I feel kind of embarrassed for the writers but they must have fun writing this. It's like a giant fanfiction, completely over the top.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 18, 2014, 11:39:42 PM
Argh, how I wish I could watch Reign...and yet, I've got no time until after Christmas. I've been having a really tough week too. Not all the keys on the laptop I borrowed from a friend work, so I've been having to write down a script by hand and re-typing at work. My car didn't pass the smog check, and in a half hour, I am going to have to navigate my way through the jungles of the government's DMV wait line, so I could get a number in order to sit and wait for an hour or more to beg their lethargic agents for an extension to drive my car for another 30 days. (They will probably make me pay for it big time.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on December 19, 2014, 09:28:50 AM
How are ya all doin O.O My sympathies to you Hats :/

So my semester is wrapping up, but without me wrapping up with it, since various fiascos with my writing assignments and productivity have occurred. I got extensions for 2 out of my 3.5 classes. So I'll have to take care of those all throughout winter break. >.< I'm going to be workin with coco too. Oh well, I hope that I make this break a really productive one, just because, well, I kind of need it to be with thesis and all. xD

Also job search. *cries*

 :eto: I don't know if all the (slightly) older ladies use Tinder, but whenever I use it, I just get myself into trouble. I can't handle guy stuff, but then I always take up requests to hang out or even consider the prospect of a sexual tryst. I'm stupid.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 19, 2014, 08:27:57 PM
Aw, Kusa, I wish I could help with the job search if not with your school assignments. But I'm pretty useless in that department.   :umm:

btw, I feel so out of touch with current trends. I mean, I had to look up Tinder... I bet you meet a lot of creeps on there, lol.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 19, 2014, 11:33:33 PM
I know just enough about Tinder to know that I will never use it lol.
Also, I've been so tired lately. It's terribly frustrating. I used to have more resistance. :shaded:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on December 21, 2014, 10:29:45 AM
Hats your sympathies are all I need  :lalalala: other than self-discipline
I'll probably end up as a grocery store worker, haha, so long as one will take me... /halfserious I'm thinking of looking into internships in graphic design or animation production tho.

Mine I can totes relate. I'm like a slug all the time.. you have to pull me out of bed! During the summer when I work, I walk around all day like a zombie and when I get home I just sleep. I hope you get some of your vigor back tho :)

lol about Tinder.
I've come across maybe one or two creeps and then some guys who are just persistent. But the majority of them are surprisingly civil! I have no guy friends so I think I surreptitiously use it in order to compensate for the lack of real life interaction with the opposite sex. Not the most sensible strategy though.

edit:
I can't believe I ended each of my paragraphs in this post with a "tho." /facepalm Lately also I've been getting tension headaches that manifest specifically in this itty circle of muscle RIGHT next to (above) my left eyebrow, so when I facepalm I just end up rubbing that spot. corz It's ridiculous.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 28, 2014, 01:41:48 AM
I'm back! I hope you all spent a wonderful Christmas. For once, I managed to get gifts for all the members of my family, got to meet most of the members of my extended family and ate a lot (I can't believe how much I ate), so mine could be qualified a success. Me and my sister still have to get gifts for each other though. We were so busy shopping for the others that we didn't have the time to buy ours. Since the others didn't bother, I have to admit I felt a bit lonely watching everyone open their gifts after dinner.  :uwaha-hnn:
But now that I'm back in France, after 6 months without opening a single volume, I will finally get to buy some manga! :kekeke:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 28, 2014, 03:35:51 AM
I got a call last night from my mom. My cousin who went on a trip abroad with his parents passed away last night from colon cancer in the hospital. I'm very shocked because he's only a year older than me... and it came so unexpectedly... I will have to go and see his parents and help with funeral arrangements. He's the oldest son in the family so I know this will have affected them deeply.

Sorry to put up such depressing news. Family matters come first but I'll work to finish what I can for the team.

I'm glad to see you back and to hear you had a great time though, Caro. At times like these it's nice to hear some good news.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Uriel on December 28, 2014, 05:23:04 AM
Oh my goodness, Hats, what heart-breaking news. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care of yourself in this difficult time xxx
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 28, 2014, 10:16:51 AM
I'm sorry this happened to you and your family. I'm bad at offering comfort in times like this but I'll be praying for you
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 13, 2015, 08:29:15 PM
The latest Ghibli movie, Omoide no Marnie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3398268/), is coming out tomorrow in France!  :dramaqueen:
I will try to see it soon. It won't solve my problems but it will at least make me forget them for a while.
Also, my sister offered me a beautiful travel mug today. It's the perfect gift for the tea drinker that I am.  :butsubutsu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 22, 2015, 04:12:36 AM
I'm sorry to hear that Hats; hope the family is able to process the loss well.
Did you enjoy the movie, Mine? :o

School's restarted and I'm feeling the pressure to take care of everything once again... not like I wasn't before, but with coursework coming in a non-stop stream again, it certainly increases the sensation!  :umm:

On the plus side, my ridiculously bougie school likes to hold welcome-back events for the students, so today I got to touch a barn owl and a Saharan fox. They were both oh-so-soft.  :eto:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 22, 2015, 05:37:19 PM
Quote
On the plus side, my ridiculously bougie school likes to hold welcome-back events for the students, so today I got to touch a barn owl and a Saharan fox. They were both oh-so-soft.  :eto:

Oooh... You're so lucky! The schools I attended never held these kind of events. I attended (or skipped) numerous boring or stressful talks, but I never got to touch fluffy animals. I probably would have been happier to go back to school if I had. That's a great idea.

Today, something great happened to me. I got an interview for an internship! I was starting to lose hope so I needed this to boost my self-confidence.  :spacy:

I didn't get to see the movie yet. Maybe this week-end, if I don't go skiing. I can't afford to do both.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 23, 2015, 02:52:12 AM
@kusa: For some reason I read, "School's restarted," as "School's retarded."  :blush:I like the fact that they relish in reunions. It means the staff actually care. BUT barn owls freak me out. It's those beady eyes I tell you! I have to give you prop for having the guts to touch them AND find them adorable.

@Caro: Princess Kaguya is still on pre-order here in the states. That's bow slow things move around here. I barely got The Wind Rises in the mail a few weeks back. That makes me afraid to ask when we'll get a US release for Omoide no Marnie!

As for me I'm patiently waiting for my new pc to come next week. They say I should be getting it by the 28th. It really is a chore to type on my kindle. My ancient fingers are feeling so arthritic. So that my good news for the day.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 23, 2015, 01:38:18 PM
Having a real, perfectly functional keyboard again will certainly be a relief. :D

It's certainly weird how much longer it takes to release Ghibli movies in the US than in France. But in this case, it's probably not a bad thing since Omoide no Marnie will probably the last Ghibli movie ever. I understand the temptation to make it last.  :wahhh:
Did you watch the Wind Rises yet? What did you think of it?

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 24, 2015, 06:59:41 PM
@kusa: For some reason I read, "School's restarted," as "School's retarded."  :blush:I like the fact that they relish in reunions. It means the staff actually care. BUT barn owls freak me out. It's those beady eyes I tell you! I have to give you prop for having the guts to touch them AND find them adorable.

Haha! If that's how you feel about barn owls, then how do you feel about... rodents? (hamster, mice, squirrels)
Our campus is draped with squirrels and within 2 weeks of coming to campus, all the students get kinda freaked out about them. It's the beady eyes and their frenetic movements (even if their tummies and tails are so yummy and cute...)


I have a lot to do. I can't have any fun today other than drinking tea and maybe making a post or two on forums (cough). But!! Part of why I'm busy right now is because I spent alllll of yesterday getting my hair dyed in LA. It's a lovely sea-weed green ombre. Which, I don't know why, has already faded to a very subtle hue within hours O__O But it's OK since I'm pretty sure if it fades too much, my hairstylist will correct it and dye it again.

But that leads me to the troublesome part. Because the hair color is for her runway show in 2 weeks. So apparently I have to get some model-y clothes and do a runway walk and pose on that day.
 :blush:  :umm:
I didn't know for sure but being a hair model turned out to be quite the serious affair? I feel like one of the Amars sucked into modeling by Kuranosuke's masterful wiles (bribed with powerful incentives). I'll have to figure a way to try to fit the role properly.


On the plus side, makeup artist doing makeup on my face! It'll be nice to have someone do real makeup on me for once. :O
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 28, 2015, 04:28:23 PM
Quote
But that leads me to the troublesome part. Because the hair color is for her runway show in 2 weeks. So apparently I have to get some model-y clothes and do a runway walk and pose on that day.
 :blush:  :umm:
I didn't know for sure but being a hair model turned out to be quite the serious affair? I feel like one of the Amars sucked into modeling by Kuranosuke's masterful wiles (bribed with powerful incentives). I'll have to figure a way to try to fit the role properly.


On the plus side, makeup artist doing makeup on my face! It'll be nice to have someone do real makeup on me for once. :O

It should be fun. I could never do it though. Let us know how it goes!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 29, 2015, 03:10:12 AM
Best thing that happened to me today? Finally got my new computer and just got done setting it up!   :kekeke: It feels great, I tell ya, great!

Kusa: If you've ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's "The Bird", then you'll know what my (former) campus looked like. Seagulls everywhere, as far as the eye can see. We'd get attacked by them, and had to shield our way to safety from the bombs they indiscriminately dropped on students. Squirrels, I think, are much more adorable and harmless... aren't they?

Anyway, wow, a hair show sounds awesome. My older sister went to beauty school, and they got super competitive during make up shows. I remember the instructor stormed off because he won third place, and the ticket I bought went to waste because he forced us all to get up and walk out with him. My advice is, whatever happens, you strut your stuff girl! And just have fun.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 29, 2015, 02:31:00 PM
Quote
Squirrels, I think, are much more adorable and harmless... aren't they?

Haha. Our cat caught a squirrel this morning. Our neighbor saved him in extremis. Poor cat! He doesn't understand why he's allowed to eat mice (my mother is scared of them) but not birds and squirrels.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 30, 2015, 12:16:23 AM
Congrats on the new computer arriving, Hats!

Anyway, wow, a hair show sounds awesome. My older sister went to beauty school, and they got super competitive during make up shows. I remember the instructor stormed off because he won third place, and the ticket I bought went to waste because he forced us all to get up and walk out with him. My advice is, whatever happens, you strut your stuff girl! And just have fun.

I know what you're talking about! I saw a bit of one on TV once. Those are hypercompetitive, but I love to see the hair designs (especially the ones with gorgeous color...) I would die if I had to walk or pose for those though. The hair show I'm modeling for is much less serious, it's a capstone show she's been asked to put on herself to finish off her training :)

So hopefully she doesn't expect too much of me... lol. Still, she has a theme and props and everything.


Squirrels:
We have both western gray squirrels and eastern gray squirrels.
The western gray squirrels are aiight (read: adorable):
(http://www.methowconservancy.org/images/methow_graysquirrel.jpg)

Don't trust the eastern gray squirrels.
(http://www.chesapeakeconservancy.org/images/Mammals/Gray_Squirrel.jpg)
they are some squirrely bastards.

Neway, the plus side of having so many squirrels on campus is that you get many chances to try snatch at their tails while they're pausing unsuspectingly on a nearby tree! So I've fulfilled my dream of feeling one of those tails in my hand once or twice in my life.

... Maybe I'm the unscrupulous one here.

Seagulls:
wow. haha. that sounds like a pain.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on February 01, 2015, 10:44:28 PM
I found the beginning of season 3 of Gran Hotel (http://vodlocker.com/6v19h9t6h31h) subtitled in english, hehe. I had completely given up on watching it someday, especially since I cancelled my subscription to Netflix.  :uhhuhyeah:

And tonight, we're having crepes for Candlemas! o(>.<)o
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on February 14, 2015, 05:09:01 PM
This happened to me a while ago but I had completely forgotten to post about it here. I'm doing it now since I thought it might amuse those of you who still visit the forum.  :uwaha-hnn:

A while ago, I had to go to Paris for a few days, for an interview. I live in the southeast of France, several hundred kilometers away, so I had to take the train. I was quite stressed out at the time so I was distracted when I packed. Still, I remembered to take my suit with me, my pajamas, my toothbrush, my phone charger... I didn't forget anything! I was quite proud of myself. I'm tend to be scatterbrained, you see...

I even managed to arrive at the train station in advance, and not at the last minute, as I often do.  Then we departed and relaxed in my seat, thinking that all would be fine. It wasn't until the ticket inspector arrived at my seat that I realized, horrified, that I had forgotten my wallet at home. I was in a train bound straight for Paris, supposed to spend the night at a hotel, with an important interview the following day, and I didn't have my wallet with me, which meant I didn't have any money, any credit card, any I.D, any train ticket... Nothing. I would arrive in Paris an hour and a half later, and I wouldn't even be able to leave the station, since I wouldn't be able to buy subway tickets.

I did many stupid mistakes before, and I will do many stupid mistakes again in the future. Once, I arrived at the train station at the last minute and got into the wrong train by mistake. I didn't realize this until after we had departed and ended up in the wrong city. Fortunately, the ticket inspector laughed at me when I told him my mistake and told me which train to take to get to my destination. I didn't even have to pay a fine. I had my wallet with me anyway.

But never before had I forgotten my wallet when going on a trip. On other occasion, yes, but never when it was absolutely necessary. It would have been less embarrassing to forget my toothbrush or my pj's (yes, this happened to me). The ticket inspector was so flabbergasted when I told him I had forgotten my wallet, and as a consequence couldn't show him my ticket or pay a fine, that he just mumbled "I'll come back later" and left. I guess he felt sorry for me. Since I didn't know what to do, I just called my mom. I was kind of expecting her to get angry and yell at me, which would have been oddly comforting, but she just told me: "Call your father, he's in Normandy for work" (in other words, about 100kms away from Paris).

In the end, I was lucky. I was able to meet my father at the train station and he gave me some money. Needless to say that I felt very stupid. And I had to wait for several hours at the stupid station. I was frozen cold when he arrived. But it was still better than having to ask for help from one of my aunts or uncles living in the vicinity. They would have definitely thought I am stupid. They already kind of do.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on February 16, 2015, 11:11:12 PM
I sympathize with you so much Mine. I lose and forget things all the time. I always compensate by taking 2 or more hours to plan before going on long trips, to make sure I've thought of everything in a list and a schedule and then methodically go over the list several times and follow the plan item-by-item. One time I entered my chemistry lecture an hour late because I mistook my lecture time.. and this was more than 1/2 way through the semester.

Though sometimes I comfort myself by saying, being absent minded or missing details isn't the same thing as stupidity, right? Right?? Haha...

Over here my low working memory has actually been enough reason for professionals to label me with ADD, but I don't know if they believe in ADD over in France.

Here's a pic from that hair show I was talking about, btw!
(http://www.luxelab.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/IMG_0704.jpg)
It ended up pretty cool (although during the wait and the socializing afterwards, I lurked around like a true introvert). I didn't actually have to do a runway walk  :cheesy: they just had us do a weird, occultish slow movement down the stage and back, it was very theatrical o_O
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on February 20, 2015, 01:34:57 PM
It looks good!  :lalalala:

ADD has been talked about more in France in recent years, but I don't have it. I never talked about it with a professional but I'm quite sure I'm just easily distracted. I don't have any problems staying focused for instance. I do lists too but I only write down what I'm most likely to forget, for instance clothes, teethbrush / toilettries and phone charger when I pack. Since I rarely forget my phone and my wallet, I didn't write it, and I was so focused on the rest that I ended up forgetting them.  :wahhh:

It's kind of a family thing. One of my brothers is like me, worse than me actually. Once, several years ago, he took the wrong bus to come home from high school. When he realized it, instead of reacting like a normal person and asking for help to the bus driver, he just got off at the next stop and took another bus. He went from bus to bus like this for several hours, completely randomly, and ended up in a town quite far away from where we live. My parents were getting really worried. He didn't have a cellphone at the time so they didn't have any means of contacting him, and we all know that he's the one of us most likely to get hurt in an accident. Four hours after he was supposed to arrive home, he finally called us for help. After that, my parents decided to get him a cell phone as soon as possible. Most of the time, he won't answer our calls but at least he has one. :wahaha:

But I sympathize with you. Unlike me, having ADD means that you can't help it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on March 01, 2015, 08:13:09 PM
Wow, haha, your brother sounds like a character. Some arcane kind of reasoning he has there :P
Supposedly, I can't help having ADHD (although I can try to manage it) but I think  it's all a matter of interpretation, whether I have a given disorder that I had no part in choosing, or whether it's simple personality traits. So ambiguous, you know??? sigh lol.

 :wahhh:
School is so hard to do properly. I never get the things I need to do done.
It would save me some grief if I just allowed myself to take extra time to graduate, but I can't help but feel like I SHOULD be able to graduate on-time, and manage everything like a normal, competent person.

Ahh sorry  :umm: just vented some hot air err ^^'
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on March 10, 2015, 06:04:50 AM
Oh, man. I just looked at the calendar, and it's already March 9th? You've gotta be kidding me. Time flies by so fast! Well, since I'm all connected now - converted two prong to three prong outlets, internet up, PS working (thanks to Minelauva) - I can now focus on doing some quality check and translations. Took me forever to get to this point, but I am most definitely back!  :decisive:

@Minelauva: Forgetting your wallet at such a crucial time? You can be pretty scatter-brained, my dear. Thankfully, Mine-Papa was around to help fork over some cash. That must have been a frightening experience. I've only experienced the train station in San Francisco. I slept-walk through the whole thing. My friend was physically dragging me around the platform by my jacket-sleeve. I can't imagine having to do all that alone.

But there's nothing stupid about it. You probably had so much on your plate as it is, so things are bound to slip your mind.

How did the interview go though?

@Kusa: Fashion show looks amazingly bizarre. I love the hat Girl #1 is holding. I'd love to be able to pull it off. Could double as a lampshade.

My 15-year-old brother's friend has ADHD. I feel guilty about not knowing much about it, even though I know I should. He has a hard time keeping up with others in school too. Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you. But honestly, I don't think there are truly any "normal" people in the world anymore. Competent, maybe... but normal? I hope you sort yourself out. I wish I could tell you not to rush, but I know that sometimes, it's not that easy.

Let me know how things turn out for you.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on March 10, 2015, 08:08:17 PM
Quote
How did the interview go though?

It went well! I ended up choosing another internship though. One in my hometown and which could turn into a long term job. I started last week. I'm not very productive for now since I'm still in training but people are nice.  :ohh:

I also wanted to ask you, do you have news of Lilanar? She's probably just busy but it's been a long time since I last heard of her.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on March 12, 2015, 04:09:33 PM
Last I heard from Lila, she was trying to move out of the country. Our countries currently don’t have good diplomatic relations, so she has to use a “back door” proxy to talk to us, visit the website/forum, etc. She can’t visit us directly. I hope everything’s OK with her and her family.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on March 16, 2015, 08:14:26 PM
Okay, thanks for letting me know.

I've been so tired lately that if I could, I would get to bed at 8pm. But tonight, it doesn't matter. My younger brother just told us he's getting married! We're all very happy. It will be the first marriage in almost twenty years in our extended family, and the first in our close family. Probably the last for a while too, since I'm not getting married anytime soon, if ever, and the others are too young.  :yesss:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on March 23, 2015, 08:02:51 PM
Congrats on the new job and the new family member, Mine! I guess it must be exciting to have a wedding around the corner.... /neverinvitedtoweddings

@Hats: that's a mask LOL! But they didn't think it thru that well because it was so heavy that the straps couldn't hold it up for Girl #1. I suppose you could try wear it as a hat.

Thanks for the encouragement about school! Sometimes it drives me crazy and sometimes I'm fine, it's just that I have to go to my advisors with my tail between my legs when I don't meet the benchmarks planned and etc. Also not having finished thesis by the end of the semester is a pain for being able to hunt down jobs (which I've already postponed to summer). I'm still trying to finish on time, but I might be watching my fwends graduate w/out me this semester. ^^'

How's the move going, and what's the new place like?
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on March 25, 2015, 05:32:18 AM
That's a mask?!  :umm: Now you know what little I know about fashion, lol. My move is going as unproductive as can be.  :cheesy: I have unpacked almost nothing, my folding bike is left unfolded and perched right next to my bed in all its tangerine-orange glory, the bed has no bed sheets so I threw a blanket over it and sleep on top of that, and the black curtains hanging off the window belong to the girl who lived in the room before me. Why black? Is she some sort of half-moth, half-human? I could sit around daydreaming about it all night...

But, no, I hooked up my PC a week ago, and started working on scanlations again.

The new place is a nice 6 miles cycling distance from work. My coworkers, usually male, laugh at me on my tiny 16" wheels. The CFO of our company popped his head into the warehouse the other day while I was riding out to say, "Do you need some gas money? Haha!" So to my fellow employees I'm a circus bear in a tutu, and to the rest of the world I am

a) A hipster chick, and
b) An annoying element to people's morning commute, especially when they are stuck behind a bus or accident, and I take the sidewalk and roll on by them with a smile on my face, and
c) entertainment for the bored mechanics and construction workers I pass by who seem to adjust whooping volumes depending on what outfit I have on that day.

Anyway, sounds like school's been a total warzone for you. Don't let it bother you if you don't graduate with your friends though. Yeah, it sucks. But as long as you graduate PERIOD, you and you friends can then proceed to go out and party AGAIN. How about that?

As for weddings, hurrah! Mine, congrats to your brother! Usually the older sis goes first though, tsk tsk. That means I get to hear fun stories about how you drunkenly propped yourself up in church to oppose the wedding - err - I mean, to give well-wishes to the bride & groom. Hope you get some much needed rest.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on March 29, 2015, 06:35:19 PM
Sounds splendid, Hats  :cheesy: you're rocking that move
I kid but lately the hedonistic, lazy lifestyle has been calling out to me... it's getting hot!! Though I have much to do, today all I did was read an original piece of fiction called Mindfuck by Manna Francis. It has gratuitous m/m scenes, I guess, but it's so interesting to read web-originated fiction with a rather-developed dystopian sci-fi setting (somewhat)??? But anyway, my bad. Granted, I did wake up at 8 with the intentions of getting a lot of work done. I just didn't produce results...

 :scratch: Ah, well, on with life. Hopefully I can get myself together to actually get some of these endless tasks off my list.

Bike with glory! Being unconventional always lends some blazing glow of glory. Just snub your nose at those, I don't know, pedestrian coworkers of yours. Ahh ha I'm kidding, but I enjoy biking in odd places too. My brother has described me as being a menace on the sidewalk.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on March 29, 2015, 08:47:23 PM
Quote
That means I get to hear fun stories about how you drunkenly propped yourself up in church to oppose the wedding - err - I mean, to give well-wishes to the bride & groom. Hope you get some much needed rest.

Haha. My brother would probably laugh but my parents would kill me. They've been waiting for this day for years. But there won't be a church wedding until next year anyway. For now, it's just a civil one. I think it's even more perfect for my parents. This way, they get to have a wedding soon, in less than a month, and a big ceremony next year.

I'm getting used to my new rythm of life. I'm not as tired as before. Althought to compensate, I don't do much on weekends. Lately, I've been spending most of my free time either with my family or reading or watching TV shows. I started watching Community this week. It's very funny.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 04, 2015, 09:41:20 AM
We realized yesterday evening that my younger brother caught lice at school, and gave them to my sister. Since I constantly swap clothes with her, I might have some too. As a result, a good part of this Saturday will be spend applying some treatment product that irritates the scalp, and combing each other's hair. We had been looking forward to going to buy the dresses we will wear at our brother's wedding, which is coming up in twenty days, but it's not looking good.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 05, 2015, 01:35:45 AM
Whoa, that is just awful. I remember they did lice checks in elementary school. I wonder what it is about younger people gathering together that allows these little monsters to run rampant?  :umm: I hope they go away soon, so you could have enough time to pick out dresses!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 05, 2015, 01:04:47 PM
What I hate about it is that when it happens, I feel dirty and become paranoid. It has happened more than once in the past and will probably keep happening. My brother is not particularly young (20 years old) but he has Down syndrome. He goes to a school for mentally disabled people and some of them, my brother included, are less careful with this kind of things and don't realize when they get lice. Last summer, we realized he had some after a month, once again when my sister realized he had passed them to her. It was awful. On the bright side of things, I've become an expert at recognizing nits. :/ But this time, things were not as bad. It will take a while to be sure we're completely rid of them but we still had time to go shopping. We picked out nice outfits!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Stiletto on April 09, 2015, 12:58:57 AM
Wow, everyone here is just full of problems hahaha. I sympathize with you, Minelauva. I have a son, and strange as it is, that is one of the concerns we parents have when our kids go to school. Also both of Mimi's cats had a flea problem that went out of control just recently, so I had to spend a lot of time cleaning our bedding and vacuuming the carpet. Tsk, tsk.

Hurrah for the dresses, though.  :yougogirl: The wedding sounds so very exciting.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on April 12, 2015, 01:11:02 AM
Wow, everyone here is just full of problems hahaha. I sympathize with you, Minelauva. I have a son, and strange as it is, that is one of the concerns we parents have when our kids go to school.... Mimi's cats ... flea problem ... had to spend a lot of time cleaning our bedding and vacuuming the carpet. Tsk, tsk.

*in head*: a mother!!!! with a KID!!! an ADULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not that Hatsumimi and Mine aren't adults lol... or that I'm not supposed to be an adult >.< motherhood is so foreign, though, I freaked out
 :scratch:
excuse me for being weird

*goes away now*
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 12, 2015, 02:40:57 AM
I'll be thirty at the end of August! Most definitely an adult. I do forget my own age at times because people always mistakenly think I'm 15-16, but when I take out my 16-year-old brother and his friends, I definitely end up feeling an "generation gap", lol. The biggest problem I have is when these teenage boys crush on me, and my nephew or brother has to tell them the truth. The look of utter shock and disgust that settles over their faces has, "I just hit on a grandma," written all over it.  :umm:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 12, 2015, 08:38:17 AM
Hahaha. Poor Hats! :wahaha:
I definitely don't miss being 15 though. Not that it was a bad time of my life, but being an adult has its perks. I don't miss having my mother constantly on my back for instance. And the drama. Oh, the drama. Sometimes, I start to forget what being a teenager was like, and then I look at my sister and I remember. Nowadays, I don't have enough energy to create scandals over every little thing. The other day, a coworker of mine got furious because I had dared use her mouse while she was on sick leave, on our manager's orders, and forgot to give it back. She started shouting so loudly that I just stared at her and quietly gave her the mouse back. And then, two days later, she left again. But this time, I think she locked her mouse away.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on April 19, 2015, 08:43:54 PM
@Mine: LOL
like how you seamlessly transitioned from talking about not missing the drama of youth to talking about the silly drama of adults

@Hats, how awkward. at least then it's like you're like a cunning little nymph since your youthful looks deceive so many... although, that sounds less flattering than I thought it would.
 :umm:

I'm really hungry and I really don't look forward to the time that I can't use my school's cafeteria any more! It's like a feast everytime I eat at school T_T the catering is great, too. I'll miss it lots.

I'm also perpetually hungry. On one hand it's a source of pride, on the other hand, it's a little bit troublesome. :/ Guess I'll poke around the cabinets to see what I can make.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 01, 2015, 11:50:44 AM
Today is May 1st, which is a holiday in France! It felt so good to sleep as long as I wanted this morning after getting up at dawn all week. Besides, it is also the beginning of May, also known this year as the month of three-day weekends. :kekeke:

Something that makes me doubt humanity: my sister-in-law, who lived on the other side of the country until her wedding, told us that her landlady's cat recently gave birth. The woman, who doesn't want to take care of the kittens, is trying to give them away, barely two weeks after their birth (and I'm sure if she could have done it before, she would have) and she's planning to drown the remaining ones. This kind of things makes me so angry. If you're not willing to take care of your cat properly, give her the pill or have her operated, then you don't deserve to have one! What's even more stupid is that if she were willing to wait for a few months, until the kittens were weaned, she would have no trouble finding some people willing to take them. This makes me feel so depressed.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Stiletto on May 04, 2015, 06:18:11 AM
Agh, Hats will definitely cry if she reads this!  :wahhh: How can people be so cruel to animals? Drowning cats sounds pretty awful, but I'm sure it happens. Here we have laws against those things, and even police that protect animals. People mostly take their unwanted cats to dump at the beach.

Cats are adorable, but I'm allergic to them, so Hats kept her cats outdoors. I feel really bad that her cat was run over, so now the other one is staying indoors and I just steer clear.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 04, 2015, 08:01:18 PM
It's illegal in France too. And there are shelters, I'm sure they would have taken them. Who would drown kittens?! Seriously...  :noway:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 06, 2015, 05:30:20 AM
Yaargh, that makes me so sad. But I'm way past crying. I've got too much to do, so little time to mourn. Glad you got the rest you need, Mine. What kind of a holiday was it?

@Kusa: What did you eventually end up making to eat? If you can even remember that far back, lol.
 :blush:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 06, 2015, 06:59:22 PM
I didn't do much. I went to the movies with my brother, to see Avengers, which was as expected: enjoyable but not exceptional. I also spent time with my family and slept lol. Lately, at work, I've been alternating between the early and the late shift. This week, I'm on the late shift and I've been having trouble adjusting. It's barely 9pm and I feel so tired.  :fallinghead:
I wanted to finish Anata no Koto wa Sorehodo but I don't have the courage to open Photoshop. I'll do it on Friday since it's a holiday. This weekend, I'm also planning to go see "She's funny that way" with my mom and if the weather is nice, we'll go for a walk in the mountains. At this time of year, the daffodils are blooming, it's beautiful.  :puppyeye:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on May 14, 2015, 08:30:28 AM
@Kusa: What did you eventually end up making to eat? If you can even remember that far back, lol.
 :blush:

I CAN'T remember that far back lol. Knowing me it was probably the most barebone meal of pasta and tomato sauce ever, though.

Guys, today my sis was having a really bad day after getting overwhelmed by her student org responsibilities and we were biking back home and some assholes drove by and threw a creamer at her head. I didn't know what the heck was going on except that she cursed and started chasing after them (but her bike is old and slow so she couldn't catch up). After she explained what they did she broke down crying for like 5 secs. I was real pissed off after that. Luckily for us they thought her reaction was funny or something so they decided to come around again to have more passes. The second time they came around we pursued them to the roundabout they were going through. Waited for them to come around again, threw my bookbag after them. They liked that. So finally they came around the 3rd time and coco and I started cussing them out with vigor. Like "get the fuck out of that car, GET OUT HERE, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PUSSY," kind of thing (excuse my honest depiction here). One of the fuckers actually got out of the car and we had a gratifyingly loud, vehement shouting match right by these apartments (involved sexual slurs, baiting, shit-talking and death wishes). Then he got back in the car and we continued cussing him out and they drove off to chuck one more piece of litter at us. What assholes. Has anyone else encountered this sort of thing before?

 :scratch:
Anyway, change of pace... Mine, the other day I took a stroll with a friend and coco in a mountainy setting, too! It was pretty spectacular, visually speaking. I hope you were able to take your walk and that it was enjoyable. ^^
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 14, 2015, 02:37:11 PM
How awful. Fortunately, nothing similar ever happened to me before. I wouldn't know how to react if it did. I wonder why people do these kind of things.

Quote
Anyway, change of pace... Mine, the other day I took a stroll with a friend and coco in a mountainy setting, too! It was pretty spectacular, visually speaking. I hope you were able to take your walk and that it was enjoyable.

Yes, I'm quite lazy but it's nice to get a change of air from time to time. The only downside is that at this time of year, people come from the city to pick armfuls of wild unprotected flowers, like daffodils. I would understand picking enough flowers to make a bouquet or two, but a dozen ?! What makes it even more ridiculous is that wild daffodils don't make nice bouquets. Their stem is too short and they wither incredibly fast after being cut. So all these nice flowers are going to end up in the garbage bin practically immediately after they get home. Needless to say that I find this annoying. Why can't people simply enjoy the beauty of the mountain...

Since today is a holiday, most people also have tomorrow off and thus a four-day weekend. I will be one of the only ones working. T_T To make up for it, I'm going to the movies tonight, to see Taxi (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4359416/). It got good reviews.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 15, 2015, 04:09:57 AM
Omg @kusa, it's so dangerous for you to do that! Now I'm all worried that these morons will show up again!  :nuu:

I bike a lot too. I've never had that happen, and I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood too. There's a bikini bar at the corner of my house, and every night some stripper or other is getting into a fight with her friend over some guy.

One time, a guy almost ran me over when he was making a right turn at a red light, and I gave those guys the death-stare, but instead of getting pissed at me, they were really apologetic and put down the window to say, Sorry, over and over again. Another time some guys rode by and the guy in the passenger seat stuck his arm out the window, which scared the crap out of me. But I realized he was actually putting a thumbs up, and had stuck his head out to say, "Nice bike!" The only stuff I had to put up with that really had me shaking with anger and fear was when guys would follow me while I'm riding. I can't beat a car, dammit. My folding bike creaks at a mere 7MPH, dammit. A "Hey, beautiful, where you goin'?" nowadays followed by a really slimey smiles gets a, "Hey, thanks" out of me, and then I pedal as fast as I can until there are more people around. I think it's because I'm the only Asian girl within a 10 mile radius. They don't see creatures like me around poor neighborhoods often.

Where do you live that someone would actually be insane enough to throw cream on people?! /wants to yell at dem punks! Grr!

Mine: I'm so jealous you. You seem to be at a beautiful place this time of year. I'm guilty of picking wild flowers for pressing. I press them to dry them out, then laminate them into bookmarks, which I give to friends. But they're not thrown out, so it's OK right?

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 15, 2015, 02:52:28 PM
Quote
Mine: I'm so jealous you. You seem to be at a beautiful place this time of year. I'm guilty of picking wild flowers for pressing. I press them to dry them out, then laminate them into bookmarks, which I give to friends. But they're not thrown out, so it's OK right?

The bookmarks must be beautiful. *__* Generally speaking, I don't have any problem with people picking wild flowers, as long as they're not protected. However, I find it stupid to pick quite literally armfuls of flowers for no reason. It's not even allowed, strictly speaking. For unprotected flowers, in these areas, the limit is one bouquet per car. Admittedly, the definition of the word "bouquet" is quite vague but I'm sure it doesn't mean "as many flowers as each person in the car can carry". :/
The place were I live is beautiful when the weather isn't crappy. Today, the temperature dropped by 10°C compared to yesterday. I hope it will stop raining sometime during this weekend. -_-
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 16, 2015, 04:37:08 PM
We had rain here too but it was much-welcomed since we've been in a drought for so long. They're forcing us to cut back on water usage, and if we don't we get fined heavily. Good thing it never gets as cold as where you're at though. Even when it was raining heavily, it was warm enough to where me and my friends could still go out for korean bbq lol. I'm still full from yesterday. :dreamyhead:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 16, 2015, 07:18:32 PM
Aaah... I should have some korean food someday. I've read about it in manga for so long, I ended up becoming curious despite these weird sounding names lol.

If my parents ever wrote a book, I'm sure it would be about marriage and children, and a whole chapter would be devoted to the techniques to use to make sure your children understand the importance of getting married, at the right age, to the right person and in the right way (in church in front of 200 persons), without ever bluntly telling to them. Tonight, after dinner, as we were watching the news on TV, my father striked again. He managed to make a hint during a report on the national museum of Asian arts. -_- "When you get married, I'm going to offer you a Buddha statue", he said, jokingly refering to the fact that the Asian part of our family, his ancestors, converted to catholiscm several generations ago. I'm sure he means well and I don't want to hurt him by making a negative comment, but it's becoming bothersome. If I never get married, will I have to put up with this for twenty more years? The worst is that now, when I think that I'm not sure I ever want to get married or have children, I feel guilty because I think I'm being a bad daughter and I'm going to hurt my parents. It won't make me change my mind but I could live without these feelings.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 16, 2015, 10:13:11 PM
It's the next big thing here. Everyone goes to korean BBQ, everyone knows what kimchi is now, lol. Not too late to jump on the bandwagon, Caro. Just do it! Beef belly, skirt steak, rib fingers, korean pancakes...  :drooly:

I never knew you were part Asian though! Now the rough marriage talk seems to make sense, haha. One day, if you're still not married by forty, he'll get tired of bugging you about it. But I find it absolutely adorable. He seems like the type who would cry secretly when the time comes for you to walk down the aisle.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 16, 2015, 10:54:51 PM
Sadly, korean food is not as popular in France. I'm not even sure there is a korean restaurant in the town where I live. But if I ever see one during a trip, I will definitely drag everyone there.  :wahaha:

Quote
I never knew you were part Asian though! Now the rough marriage talk seems to make sense, haha.
Yeah, I don't really talk about it because I feel far more French than Vietnamese, but it's far more obvious with my father.
I don't know about the tears but he would definitely make a fool of himself, insisting to walk me down the aisle, waltz with me then probably try dance the rock, even though none of us know how to dance. He would get drunk and show everyone every embarrassing photo of me he could find, along with equaly embarrassing stories. That's actually one of the reasons why I'm looking forward to my brother's wedding next year.  :headbite:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on May 17, 2015, 08:20:07 PM
Omg @kusa, it's so dangerous for you to do that! Now I'm all worried that these morons will show up again!  :nuu:

I bike a lot too. I've never had that happen, and I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood too. There's a bikini bar at the corner of my house, and every night some stripper or other is getting into a fight with her friend over some guy.

One time, a guy almost ran me over when he was making a right turn at a red light, and I gave those guys the death-stare, but instead of getting pissed at me, they were really apologetic and put down the window to say, Sorry, over and over again. Another time some guys rode by and the guy in the passenger seat stuck his arm out the window, which scared the crap out of me. But I realized he was actually putting a thumbs up, and had stuck his head out to say, "Nice bike!" The only stuff I had to put up with that really had me shaking with anger and fear was when guys would follow me while I'm riding. I can't beat a car, dammit. My folding bike creaks at a mere 7MPH, dammit. A "Hey, beautiful, where you goin'?" nowadays followed by a really slimey smiles gets a, "Hey, thanks" out of me, and then I pedal as fast as I can until there are more people around. I think it's because I'm the only Asian girl within a 10 mile radius. They don't see creatures like me around poor neighborhoods often.

Where do you live that someone would actually be insane enough to throw cream on people?! /wants to yell at dem punks! Grr!

I was biking through a pretty bougie, upper middle class area (by the colleges), but I guess even those areas will have lowlifes creeping through and looking for entertainment. Actually, I can't think of punks who are actually poor bothering with such petty pranks. It seems like a suburban thing. I'm not scared about it happening again though! Or if it does it'll just be another chance to try to eff them over by calling Camp Sec over or getting their license plate no. or something.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with those creepy men harassing you while you bike. That happens to me mostly when I'm walking. We have at least some Asians around here, but as a young (or young-looking haha) Asian girl you're still gonna be subjected to some gross treatment periodically. I remember one guy who passed by on his bike and leered at me really slowly up and down with this huge smile, and then asked me if I was Chinese (I am). More recently this middle-aged guy moved in downstairs and it doesn't feel right interacting with him. He has this weird off air and when you talk with him you feel like you're being subjected to the male gaze.

K-bbq is awesome. The rain was kind of a pain but definitely needed for the drought. I hope your father eventually learns that you aren't interested in marriage, Mine! I can see some of that emphasis on marrying and having children in my background, but my parents aren't so traditional as yours. My mom will often talk about when I have kids, but when that happens I feel free telling her, "Um... I don't know if I'll even have kids or marry one day." Her own mom didn't want her to marry, but she carries some of her own emphasis on having a family that isn't cultural so much as personal.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 19, 2015, 01:24:40 AM
See, Kusa, I've always known (some) upper middle class kids (and boy-men), who live in suburban neighborhoods with neatly-cut lawns and neatly-trimmed ligustrum bushes, to be bored as hell with life, and boredom acts as an impetus for these cretins to lash out and do really destructive things. I was being a total sneak and dating my younger brother's best friend behind his back, and this guy was a fine specimen of The Bored Young Male Suburbanite. This guy has been known to pee in an arc in the bushes in front of us while  we were camping together. Musing over that episode now, while eating a tray of take-out sushi from the Korean-owned gig down the street, I realize I can be pretty stupid sometimes.

If you're creeped out by the middle-aged guy, try not to end up alone with him in the building. / :shaded:
omg, I need to stop being so negative!

Mine: I wish, oh, wish upon a star that you'll get at least a Korean pancake stall set up in the corner of some street somewhere near your house, where your tongue will finally get to savor the crispiness and chewiness and yumminess of a seafood pa jeon. But if not, then you can always make it yourself at home. It's not too difficult! (I say that, but I'm still searching for a good recipe online to this day.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on May 20, 2015, 05:58:36 PM
LOL, Hats, I remember you talking about that guy! He sounded pretty dashing in your original description, but there's usually a downside to Prince Charming's, I guess :P

Mr. Middle-Aged Guy is from Egypt but was brought here when young (his words). I came across him yesterday and he introduced himself again. Slightly less creepy, but still unwanted interest. Last time he asked Coco where she was from and if she was from China =__=ll maybe it's an immigrant misperception of how race works?

But, anyway, even say he does have an inappropriate sexual interest in young Asian women, I doubt he'd do anything to act on it other than give unwanted smiles and stares..! Luckily, I think most guys are limited to that.

Uhh, lately I've been working on my thesis and I have to get it done in a month  :huh: a little scary. I just transcribe all day! It's drudgery.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 20, 2015, 07:41:55 PM
Oh, I sympathize with you Kusa. The time right before the deadline is always the worst. Good luck with your thesis!
I remember this guy too. I thought the way you talked about him and your budding romance was cute. But then you stopped mentioning him and I figured things probably hadn't turned out so well in the end.
Today, I just learned completely by chance that next Monday is a holiday (kind of) and that consequently, we will have the day off. It made my day! If I hadn't been listening to my coworkers' talk, I would have come to work in the morning and found the company closed...  :bye:
I will use this extra time to make progress on my projects. Lately, during the week, I haven't been able to bring myself to open Photoshop long enough to do more than a couple of pages at a time.
In other office related news, today, my crazy coworker had a huge fight over the phone with another woman who had answered to her a bit harshly on our instant messaging service. It was epic. The whole open space could hear her. It was the most physical phone call I ever heard. I can't dare imagine what it would have been like if they had been face to face. Since I hardly know her, I got intrigued when everyone started gathering around her or overtly listening, as if they were about to watch a show, as she dialed. Now I understand where her reputation comes from.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 29, 2015, 09:39:14 PM
Best thing that happened to me today: I bought a new laptop! Sadly, I won't actually get it until sometime next week. I can't wait. The current one keeps freezing. However, this also means that I will really need to control my expenses for the next few months.  :uhh:
Also, my allergies have been particularly strong for the last month. I love spring but I can't wait for it to be over. I developed allergies to pollen and cats a few years ago. They're not particularly strong but it's enough to be bothersome. I used to think I was lucky to have escaped this curse. I love petting my cat but my skin and eyes start itching every time I do it. :eatthis:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on May 31, 2015, 04:29:49 AM
Not sure what the ongoing rants/praises that have been going on on this board but I thought I'd vent a little too. I recently I found out my friend's in pretty serious financial issues and can't make payments. I can't really do anything to help her and that leaves me a troubling place of what I can do to help. I guess the best thing is just be there for her but I want to be able to extend my hand a little more somehow. It's really been dragging me down. I also made a mistake at my new internship so I'm not how to make that up. Even though I get a little more room for error as an intern, it still sucks having let people down.
 :givenup:
The good thing is I recently got Pokemon X to play and explore with has really helped offset this stress. And off course new releases! Super excited to get my eyes on those!
 :uhhuhyeah:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 03, 2015, 01:02:27 AM
Megan you're a good friend. Just the thought of you feeling helpless at not being able to help gives me the fuzzies. I had serious financial issues and had to shut down this group before to focus on paying for medical expenses for my brother. My friends had no money but they invited me over for dinner and just kept me from getting depressed. And that was good enough for me.

As for the internship, that's just how it goes. You'll make a ton of mistakes, but if you just try to work out a way to correct it so that it won't happen again then just focus on that. Don't get too caught up with beating yourself up over something that happens naturally to all of us. :eto:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 04, 2015, 07:38:56 AM
Thanks Mine! How's your new laptop? And is it bad that when I read small stories about outlandish coworkers like yours, it makes me feel better about myself? Like if these people can get employed and then behave so disruptively, maybe I can get a job too. lol

Or maybe employers are looking for outlandishly disruptive people. >.>

Megan, that sounds hard. You sound like a good friend though. I hope your friend's situation looks up soon.

On my side:
Thesis. Thesisthesis thesis.
Always fretting about thesis but not getting a whole lot done. LOL. >_< I think I may need to skip some steps to keep with the deadline at this rate.
The other day I invited someone over with some adult intentions and we did some things, which is kind of unprecedented, and I've had to remind myself to keep my head on straight since. :scratch: Jesus, I should've known it'd be a bit distracting lol. But it's fine, I ALWAYS keep my head on straight.

/cue ironic laughter

But anyway, seriously, it'll be fine. Imma focus.
 :lalalala:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 04, 2015, 07:50:00 PM
Quote
Thanks Mine! How's your new laptop?

It feels weird. I'm still used to my old laptop so I don't feel comfortable using the new one. The colors look terrible. I'm probably going to keep using the old one to edit.  :umm:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 06, 2015, 09:06:57 AM
Guys, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about stuff. There's a guy who definitely likes me, but I don't have any feelings for him. He properly asked my family to lunch with him this Sunday so he could see me. I really tried to like him, but even when he's giving me these deep, all-knowing stares, I don't feel a thing. It's driving me nuts.

My sister thinks I should just pretend I don't know his feelings and just be friends, but I don't feel comfortable leading him on. I think she thinks my feelings will change if I get to know him, since that was how she got with her husband. This guy is a great guy and would be a pretty good catch. I'm not getting any younger either...I'm sure he can find someone else easily. Am I being stupid for not giving him a chance? So confuuuused. :poutpout:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 06, 2015, 02:32:16 PM
I understand how you feel. It's a difficult decision to make. I understand your sister's point of view, though given what you just wrote about him, it might get difficult to pretend not to notice his feelings for you. Am I naive for thinking that honesty is best? Probably. Besides, I'm also extremely likely to end up alone with my cat and my books, and to be perfectly happy about it, so maybe you shouldn't listen to my advice. However, turning thirty soon is not a reason to get with someone you're not attracted too. You're a human being, you don't have an expiration date. It's also bound to make both of you unhappy. If you're not attracted to him, you're not.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 07, 2015, 01:57:44 AM
I also have a tendency to be idealistic, and I'm young(ish), but I agree with Mine that getting older shouldn't be your primary motivating factor for deciding to date someone. I think you should date a guy if you think he might be great and you want to date. Your sister's not wrong, feelings can change, but the most important thing to consider is if you really want to force yourself to date if you're not feeling it, at least right now. You could date out of pragmatic concern, and in the hopes that your feelings will change, but if you date him while feeling deep inside that you don't really want to date him, is it really worth it?

On the other hand, you not being into him yet doesn't have to mean that you don't want to date. Some people like to date, even if they're not sure about how much they have the hots for someone, just to see where it goes and because they enjoy getting to know other people as potential romantic partners. I think it takes a certain level of open-mindedness and comfort dealing with potential duds (like someone who can say, "I'm sorry, I really enjoyed getting to know you but I don't think we're right for each other and I'm no longer interested"). I'm definitely not this person and I don't feel like dating people unless I'm excited about them from the very start, but everyone's different.

If you're not sure whether you do or don't want to date him, maybe like Mine suggests, you could go the route of being honest and direct and just tell him how you feel? To be ultra-specific, you could say, "I realize that you have some feelings for me, and I want to  be able to respect how you feel, but I don't know how to respond just yet." And if you're open to the idea of dating to figure out how you feel, you could say something like, "If you still want to get to know me even knowing that, would you be OK with us spending some time together without any pressure so I can get a better sense of how I feel?"

Or, if you don't feel comfortable suggesting that, you could say instead, "I just wanted to let you know because I don't want to be unfair to you by giving you the wrong impression." And if you're open to being friends, you can add "If you're fine with me being this way, we can continue to spend time together as just friends for now, and maybe one day I can tell you how I want to respond. But if that's too much for you, I wouldn't want you to waste your time by being insensitive to your feelings." And hopefully either way an understanding can be reached, so you can give him the quick hug of reached understanding. :o

Ahh, but I'm totally just spinning my wheels here and trying to imagine what might be a suitable way of figuring out the situation, so take my suggestions with a good HEAPING handful of salt T_T. (I AM DEFINITELY NOT A NAVIGATING-HUMAN-RELATIONSHIPS EXPERT). It's a very direct way of dealing with things and not everyone likes that level of directness, so it may not be how you want to deal with the situation.  :umm: Anyway, I've probably only added to your confusion with my excessive level of input, but I hope you can figure out what you want to do(!).

Ganbatte Hats!  :wahhh: Romantic situations are always so confusing!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 09, 2015, 01:35:37 AM
Thank you Kusa and Caro. Appreciate the input. I hope I can put what you guys said into perspective so I can try and get some rest. We ended up not going out to eat with him on Sunday because my family was busy. I'm a little thankful for that.

I think that part of the problem is that even though I broke up with my ex-boyfriend (the Cantonese guy), we still hang out with each other. He is my best friend. I have a horrible habit of not being able to put a clean end to things. At least with me, sentimental doofus that I am, I feel like I'm betraying him somehow if I seriously date. I know it's not right to think that way, but I get a little stupid when it comes to love. I wonder if there are lingering feelings, and that's what's preventing me from really opening up to someone new. Who knows?

Agh, anyway, no romance today. Today I churn the Sekine crock and try to get this chapter rolling again. I'm missing Lilanar because she's not here, and I have no idea where she is or what happened. But I'll get this chapter out by next week even if I have to do it while coughing out blood!  :butsubutsu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 10, 2015, 06:58:12 PM
Good luck Hats. It might take you a while to figure things out. Maybe some more time spent brooding before cupboards? :P

Not much new on my side. Just the same thesis hurdle. I've been doing a little bit of furniture rearranging because I got some new items so the place feels a bit novel and nice. But I'm like, I don't even know if I'll be staying here in a few months. And also because my roommate is moving out a bit earlier, we're trying to show the place to some prospects for short-term subletting. It's a little confusing.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on June 11, 2015, 05:51:02 PM
freinds first. ask him why he likes you. then crush his heart into powdery ash like a beautiful, great josei manga  :ohh:
bwahahahha

it's not my fault if josei manga has corrupted me u.u

More seriously though good luck!! Maybe you can just tell him more or less what you told us here and ask for the liberty to get to know him at your own pace and discretion (i.e. not at all if you don't feel like it). Not sure if you still have the feels for your ex-bf, but maybe you're just struggling with moving on if you have issues ending things in general. You already know, but it's not a betrayal to date someone after you two already broke up! Especially casually. ^o^

there are a whole bunch of more (im)pertinent questions here that I won't bother you with since you probably just need time and space to deal with this issue yourself. You are a capable woman, Hats. Just look at all those scanlated projects >3<
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 12, 2015, 10:51:15 PM
Hahaha, coco.  :wahaha:

I need to be honest. I'm a hot mess. I have tons of family problems. One of my younger brothers has a mental illness. I am STILL fighting low self-esteem issues. I don't want a great guy who has intentions of getting married (which I'm told he does) coming after me. I'd make him absolutely miserable. When I look back at the past, I realize that the reasons for my break-ups were mostly caused by me.  My sister was bugging me about it the other day, and I listed all these reasons, and she said in a really depressing tone, "If you're not going to marry because of that, then that's really, really sad."

These past two years have also taught me how difficult it is NOT to have lingering feelings for people I break up with, even though I know it's damaging to my mental health. I'm a hopeless romantic. The past replays in my mind like a movie, I kid you not. Whole dialogs stick with me. I'd try to go to sleep and then I'd remember something someone said, and my eyes would snap open and I'd throw back the covers, scramble for my notebook to jot it down. I wouldn't be able to write if I didn't have that ability. Imagination can only go so far. But the drawback is also that I can never forget. I will always remember, and it will always play in my mind like a movie... :2ndlump:

I DID date a guy seriously last year, but made a terrible choice. I'm not embarrassed to talk about it anymore, but it was hard for me to admit to my family at the time because everyone highly disapproved of us dating, especially my older sister. She hated his guts, and didn't know how I felt until she read one of my release posts.

You know, my younger brother's best friend. I think sneaking around behind my brother's back made my brother very hurt. We were four years apart but grew up very close. He warned me against it. Like seriously yanked me by the arm in the kitchen and said that his friend was "not a good guy" and "can't be trusted." And instead of hearing him out, I demanded to know why he would be friends with a guy he didn't trust around any girls, and then yanked my arm away and stormed off before he could answer. (Drama queen, I know.)

To make matters worse, I kind of already knew the guy was a flirt. I'm a sucker for the ones with a slick tongue and cute smile. I'm pretty sure my younger brother's wife (girlfriend at the time) wasn't lying when she said he made a pass at her, even though he denied it when I asked him about it. Anyway, it got way too complicated. My best friend, J, had a crush on my younger brother, who was in love with a girl who was flirting with the guy I was seeing behind my brother's back. Then, as if someone was saying, that's not enough, we need to stomp down on you until you can't get back up, I find out that he and my brother's wife had gone on a trip together abroad with a group of friends a year before either my brother or me came into the picture. That all this time they were pretending they didn't know each other, they did. And after getting yanked by the arm in the kitchen by my brother, several months later I'd be facing off with his girlfriend/wife who told my mom I was jealous because the guy I liked still harbored feelings for her. Way too complicated!

So I said, Oh, hell nah. This isn't worth it. And did the dirty by breaking up with him by text. He didn't seem too hurt about it either. "You won't have me," he said. "But at least you'll have your brothers, right? You won't be alone right?"

I know I assured him that everything would be OK at the time. But thinking about it now when I'm sitting here alone in my room fighting a cold, after losing touch with my best friend, my parents, my younger brother, this guy, and my ex now dating...I start to feel like everything's not OK, and I come off as a little pathetic.

This new guy is not going to be the answer to all my problems though. I think I really need to start writing again. Serious writing.  :
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 13, 2015, 04:04:11 AM
Hats, I relate to you a lot. I have low self-esteem issues, too. Whenever I think about dating a guy, I just think "Why would they want to stay around me, when I have so many issues that they would obviously have to deal with?" I often find myself cutting things short because I don't want to disappoint people once they get to (actually) know me.

But most people are messed up one way or the other. People who are generally all-around great seem honestly weird to me. Sometimes you find people who understand that you have flaws and like you enough that they want to work with you in a relationship. Sometimes people find that a relationship can be a way to grow, even if it doesn't work out. But other times people feel like they want to work on straightening themselves out before getting anyone else involved. Whatever makes you happy, Hats.

You may be a mess but we still adore you. It's obvious you care a lot about family, even if things got weird, and you're a thoughtful, introspective person. Maybe you missed things when they were happening, but you're reflective enough to eventually try to consider different point of views afterwards. Not everyone's like that. Don't be too hard on yourself.

And yes! Give yourself some time to figure it out, whether that means banging away at your keyboard or drinking tea fervently or staring blankly off into space when people are talking to you. :P You are beholden to all of those things.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 13, 2015, 05:29:59 AM
OH YEAH and I also had this guy who I couldn't stop replaying moments with in my head. I even tried to document the whole thing in my journal like a year after the last time I saw him. I thought it would never go away :P but eventually, like after 3 years, it was fine and I stopped replaying all those damn moments in my head and fell haplessly for several other guys.

And this was the dude who bullied me in high school (even if it was through ironic teasing). Soo yeah, you're not the worst. lol
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 13, 2015, 03:13:29 PM
Hats, I didn't know what you had been going through. I'm sorry you lost touch with your best friend. Is that the best friend you told me about, the one who works in a japanese restaurant, or is it someone else?
In any case, what happened reflects badly on this guy and on your brother's wife. " Several months later I'd be facing off with his girlfriend/wife who told my mom I was jealous because the guy I liked still harbored feelings for her." : well, at least, she doesn't suffer from self esteem issues. However, I have to say, your younger brother is a brat. I still can't believe he let his wife throw you and your sister throw you out of his wedding reception. He needs a good talking to. But I'm sure you learned something from your experience with the lying womanizer, so you shouldn't be too harsh on yourself, even if that's easier said than done.
On another note, sadly, I understand having low self-esteem and feeling pathetic. My issues are different though, so I don't have any advice to give you, but I understand. I'm barely starting to think that my depression is behind me and that I won't relapse. But the struggle is not over. I'm still fighting to believe in the future and that I am not worthless. Besides, even before my depression, I have never been good at relationships, romantic or otherwise. Nonetheless, if writing is what gives meaning to your life, you should definitely go for it. I think you have a gift for it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 21, 2015, 05:45:30 AM
Keep working on it, Mine. It sounds tough that you still have to work on avoiding a relapse to depression, but I think it's wonderful/encouraging that you've come this far. I guess we all have some things we need to work out about ourselves.

Also, after trying to encourage working against negative thinking, this is gonna sound negative but have you guys ever experienced being so close to someone that when they deal with the same stuff you deal with in a slightly different way, and you don't get it/can't appreciate it, it bothers you to no end? Grr. Coco gives up on working when she's anxious (which I get) but then doesn't feel bad about fecklessly lazing around the whole day once she gives up (which I don't get) even though thesis is due in a week. Coco y u like dis  :wahhh:

 I guess the more you care about someone, the more it bothers you when you feel like they're doing stuff wrong. But maybe it's not that she's wrong, it's just that she's different. Or even if someone close to you does something wrong, it should be OK so long as it's minor, since everyone is bound to mess up one way or another. I shouldn't be ruled by small things so that I lose sight of the big picture.

 :butsubutsu: <-- trying to be more magnanimous  :kekeke:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 21, 2015, 08:59:07 AM
Kusa, I get what you mean. When you care about someone and you're close to them, even if you know it, it can be hard to accept that they're going to do things a different way, and even when they're wrong, there's not much you can do about it. On the bright side, the thesis is due in a week, which means you will soon be done with it!
However, I kind of envy coco. I also tend to get paralyzed by anxiety but then, I feel terribly guilty because I didn't do what I was supposed to do.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 22, 2015, 12:07:19 AM
I've been having really bad migraines all week. Missed you guys terribly, and felt I needed to come on and actually get something done. Even now my my head is throbbing though, but I'm having fruit and yogurt to see if the cause is just my eating habits. I was snacking on chips and stuff most of of May-June because our guy friends kept coming over to our house to watch the basketball game.

Mine: Depression sucks. I've never known that about you because you always seem so cheerful. You have to fight it hard, and just know that we're here to hear you out. That's what you guys are like for me.

My best friend is the one that works at the Japanese restaurant. I would not have watched Running Man or EX-GF Club if I wasn't missing her so much. But we just live two different lives. She made some friends who like to go clubbing and drinking. Things that an introvert like me doesn't like to do. It was always strange to me that the image I have on the outside is of a girl who LIKES to do this kind of stuff and I get approached by people who get turned off because they find out I don't.  :umm:

Kusa: Tell coco to get working, chop chop! lol. Is she the type that stays up the last night before the thesis is due pounding away at her keyboard? I can understand the relationship because my sister is pretty similar. I just poke and prod but there's not much I can do when she doesn't want to work.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 22, 2015, 08:22:47 PM
On the bright side, the thesis is due in a week, which means you will soon be done with it!

Yes!! The only thing is, I have worked as slowly as I typically do, so I'm like, staring at at least 30 pages or so that have to be written in a week in order to make the deadline, and I'm not sure if I can do it. >_> I know other people could just fine, but I'm the type of dysfunctional writer that could take a whole day to write maybe a page (my ideas get really complicated and unwieldy, so  I have to spend a lot of time puzzling things out to feel like whatever I'm writing makes actual sense). Plus I get a bit obsessive when I write. But, I really don't want to ask my advisors for more time and have to make a petition to get another extension. I'd do it if I really had to, but there's only so much before my ego gets totally punctured, right?

 :noway:

So, anyway, my biggest hope is just to cobble things together and try to stay away from making some overly grandiose argument (other than the one I already have outlined) and do it sloppily in hopes that that will allow me to get it done fast enough. Fingers crosssssed.

At least coco, that feckless, carefree spirit, seems to be back on track! All the poking and prodding can be left to the side for me now.
 :umm: It's true, you can't make a person work if she doesn't want to.

Hats, I hope your migraines improve. Um.. I've never heard of eating habits causing migraines. But I hope you can get a bit of rest and relaxation in and that will help the issue!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on July 02, 2015, 07:44:02 PM
I just noticed that another group has started releasing Tsukikage Baby. Tsss.... :rolling:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: SwirlyOwl on July 02, 2015, 08:54:55 PM
Minelauva, I saw that too. But no work has been done on any chapters, all they did was put translations in a transparent boxes hovering over uncleaned text/pages. I think we are ok to continue to work on it, I hope.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on July 02, 2015, 11:37:43 PM
I don't see a problem with putting out HQ releases. If it's the same group we're thinking of, they did the same for Ane no Kekkon, but I'm still going ahead with our releases.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on July 03, 2015, 05:36:10 AM
Yeah. It's not a new group but I noticed it only now. Since they're not HQ releases, I don't really mind. I was just surprised. I think that as long as we enjoy producing the chapters, we should continue releasing them.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on July 03, 2015, 10:36:07 PM
I'll go for quality scans over quick overlays. :blush: Thanks for the hard work, SH Team.

The good news is almost done with thesis, and that my current employer (same one from my student days) is considering hiring me to fill a vacancy left by a retiring staff member. The downers is went over my extended deadline for thesis a bit, and I have to do a lot of prep work to meet the pressure to do a good job with my new and rather significant responsibilities so they keep me on the team instead of hiring someone new.

I'm happy to have an employment prospect (and the prospect of supporting/feeding myself and being an adult in my apartment) without going through an extended job search, but it will most certainly be weird to be a staff member to students that I know and think of as classmates.  :huh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on July 24, 2015, 04:59:31 PM
I'm tired of my crazy coworker's passive aggressive comments. Every time I get new responsibilities, she basically says : "No offense, I have nothing against Caro but she's not the one I would have chosen. The management here is so bad". Then she goes on to criticize our manager, so our colleagues agree : "Yeah. You said it..." I would like to think they don't realize that by agreeing with her, they're also saying I don't deserve the responsibilities I get, but they probably do. I don't really care, excepted that this kind of petty comments make me feel like I'm back in junior high. I thought I had left this kind of bullshit behind when I got into high school. How naive of me...  :uwaha-hnn:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on July 24, 2015, 05:07:20 PM
I can totally empathize, Caro. I get the same kind of comments from my coworkers. I guess the only advice I can offer is that if you're confident in your work, you should just ignore those kind of comments, but, that's easier said than done.

Really wish we had left these kinds of comments back in middle school. Keep pushing on!
 :hero:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on July 30, 2015, 04:52:18 AM
Guys, I feel like I'm in a funk. But then again, aren't we all?
Oh  :umm: I don't really mean that seriously, I'm also just being sentimental and I feel like every adult feels stymied in life some way.

For me, I have to find myself a job in order to be an honest, respectable citizen who doesn't just mooch off of her family relations (*cough*Coco*cough*) to pursue personal whims. But I've never been good at forcing myself to get a lot of work done and whenever I come home from my current (very temporary) work all I want to do is gratify myself by having fun. Or at least not work. I feel overwhelmed just between simple housechores and applying for jobs (never mind my other somewhat pressing errands). On one hand, I don't feel like spending hours cooking and cleaning when I have shit to do, but on the other hand, I don't feel like doing shit when the house isn't in order. :/

OK, enough ranting.  :speechless: I suppose I should take things one step at a time and also accept that I can be limited. But still... I feel defeated. U.U

Speaking of workplace struggles - You know, when you're recently graduated, you have to give the "talk" to everybody about "what's next" for you. And if you're job hunting, the talk is to sell yourself as a person who knows what they're doing even if they haven't landed a job AND do the dreaded networking function. So I mentioned that I hope to eventually get into web development to one of my co-workers and she let me know that another one of my co-workers actually runs a web development business. So I should totally talk to him for advice and in general just for sake of networking. But God save me if I don't want to bother him  :umm: or other people at work, even if it totally makes sense. I just want to mind my own business and self-learn and not ask anyone for help or resources.

 :eto: asking for help is really hard. I have this horrible impression that if I talk to anyone about what I'm looking for, I'm placing a burden on them to try to make things fall into place for me. A burden because I'm not really a worthy candidate for anything yet. =.= I realize I shouldn't think like this but that's the way it feels to me.

Gosh, I'm just a bedraggled spirit today. I'm sorry to be a debbie downer :P On the plus side, asides from all that noirish angst, I've been saving some lychee seeds from a rare haul from the not-so-local major Asian grocery market (99 Ranch) and soaking them in water and some of them definitely look like they're sprouting! Like I might have 13 baby little lychee trees soon. My collection of patio plants is getting so out of hand. ^^;; but I'm not going to talk about how my avocado seedling died

I know y'all are dealing with all of your own lives and still working steadily away at those releases! Ganbatte friends!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on July 30, 2015, 08:31:05 PM
Quote
For me, I have to find myself a job in order to be an honest, respectable citizen who doesn't just mooch off of her family relations (*cough*Coco*cough*) to pursue personal whims. But I've never been good at forcing myself to get a lot of work done and whenever I come home from my current (very temporary) work all I want to do is gratify myself by having fun. Or at least not work. I feel overwhelmed just between simple housechores and applying for jobs (never mind my other somewhat pressing errands). On one hand, I don't feel like spending hours cooking and cleaning when I have shit to do, but on the other hand, I don't feel like doing shit when the house isn't in order. :/

Haha. I'm the same. When I get home from work, I'm usually so tired that I don't even want to cook. But I like eating well, living in a clean place, and so on, so I force myself to do chores.  :shaded:

Your patio must look nice with all these plants. >.< I never tried growing a lychee tree. It probably wouldn't work. It's too cold where I live.  I wish I lived in a place where jasmine grew. I love the smell of this plant.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 05, 2015, 05:45:55 AM
Kusa, your post was most definitely not centered on 99 Ranch or litchi seeds, but 99 Ranch is very close to where I live, so I was excited to hear it mentioned.  It's in my neighborhood, yo. Woop, woop! Cool that you're patio gardening and getting in tune with nature. You seem pretty bummed out with stress, so this is good for you. I use the same method as you. Soak them in water and wait for them to sprout. I usually let them sprout in jars on my window sill first, then once it takes root and gets stronger, I plant them outside. That's what we did with leftover avocado seeds, and the tree grew into this monstrous beast that spat out deliciously creamy fruit. That or the fruit of our labor made it oh so much sweeter.

I hate to say this about work though, but you're going to have to kick yourself in the butt to make you do a lot of stuff you hate doing. Networking is a necessity. I would definitely print a stack of business cards as well that you could carry around to pass out. I know it sucks to hear it, but I work in a corporate office, and networking IS necessity if you want to stay alive in any business. You could ask the guy out for a cup of coffee or something, or bring him some donuts or something. You don't necessarily have to talk business, but you need to put it out there that you are looking for this type of work. Of course you need to prove your worth once the time comes, but you gotta get your foot in the door first, right? Bother him because it's a survival need if you're planning to get into web development.

As for me, recently I've been having to spend a lot of time alone because of work. I don't know how many hours I've clocked in per week, but it's a lot and I'm too tired to date right now. I feel bad for the guy I am currently seeing, but I don't think I saw him for more than four hours the whole of July. This project we're working on is a life-sucking demon. I wish it were over already so I could go home and sleep at regular hours. I want to eat out with the ONE friend I have left, not gobble up take-out sushi at my desk!  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on August 14, 2015, 09:00:39 PM
I hope you will be able to get some rest, Hats. :yougogirl:

Since I'm taking a vacation at the beginning of September, I've spent the last few weeks trying to decide where to go. I wanted to go abroad, but somewhere not too isolated since I'm going alone, where I wouldn't have to rent a car, and where I wouldn't get bored after a few days. This ruled out Ireland, Greece, Iceland, and Scandinavia. I finally decided on the US, even if I initially didn't want to go so far away.
I just booked my flight to New York. Then I started looking at hostel prices...This city is so crazily expensive!  :huh: Toronto was cheap in comparison. I will be broke afterwards but at least it will be worth it. I've always wanted to go to NYC. I look forward to this trip! >.<
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 16, 2015, 03:22:40 AM
Oh-mah-gah! I'm so excited for juu.  :ohh: I've always wanted to go to New York but decided on San Fran because it was a tad bit less expensive because we didn't have to pay for a hotel. Btw, I especially loved this tongue-in-cheek video up from Vogue with Carey Mulligan: Carey Mulligan Knows the Secret to Being a True New Yorker (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5BWseBIu80).

That aside, I hope you enjoy the trip. You are forever going everywhere, and for me and my armchair adventures, you are living the life!


Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on August 20, 2015, 09:15:19 PM
I love travelling, I got this from my mother.  :cheesy:
But there's no need to go far to go on adventures. When I read your posts, I always get the impression that your daily life is fascinating.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on August 23, 2015, 05:18:23 AM
@Caro, good for you for getting some travel in! I just hope you don't end up like my online friend from the Netherlands, who came by and complained about all the obesity-inducing food and the poor infrastructure and the dismal state of politics.
:umm: Needless to say he wasn't really impressed with what he saw. But NY's got a lot going on besides all those things!

I hate to say this about work though, but you're going to have to kick yourself in the butt to make you do a lot of stuff you hate doing. Networking is a necessity. I would definitely print a stack of business cards as well that you could carry around to pass out. I know it sucks to hear it, but I work in a corporate office, and networking IS necessity if you want to stay alive in any business... Bother him because it's a survival need if you're planning to get into web development.

God I didn't want to hear that! But now that Hat's said it, I guess I have to take it into account. I've been impressed with the need for networking by several parties but I wanted to view them as being in a different world than me...
:blush:
But when a fellow josei-devouring, romantic shut-in is laying down the facts of the world, I can't discount it any longer. :wahhh: I'll take it as truth but we'll see about donuts.

My patio garden is getting tooo crazy and I lost a couple tomato plants in my multiple efforts to re-arrange things and transplant. (My apartment asked me to take the plants off the balcony ledge! The worst!) But my lychee plants are growing for real now and I'm super excited for them! They don't spit out glorious fruit as reliably as avocado trees (and they take years to grow) but I just think that the idea of baby lychee trees is super cute. Yeah I know Hats, we're kind of in the same hood. But not really :P The closest 99 Ranch to me and coco is like Chino Hills and I imagine that you're actually in LA ish. BUT. Maybe you are our stealth neighbor for real. lol

I'm still horrible at time management and managing my life and getting stuff done. I've realized I'm kind of in this undefined, open-ended(?) thing with this guy but just the idea of actually dating puts me into a serious bout of fretting. I feel like it would be a mess because I'm not equipped to be a girlfriend. Then I realize the advice I gave earlier and I feel like karma's kicking my butt now for giving advice with such hubris.

lol I'm sorry universe  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on August 23, 2015, 05:42:30 PM
For real though, this is what Kusa is like:
Going to bed yesterday night: :eto:
1 hour later: :poutpout:
This morning: :bymaself: :eto:

Geez, she sure does like to ruminate and fret (http://www.kusamochi.com) a lot. -_-;;;;;
Life for me is just feels like... work and school. Now that school is over, work mostly and adult life. I feel like one of those josei manga characters living the working life. O_O I wonder who I've turned into. Someone really dry... and adult-seeming. I need some fantasy and sci-fi books, ASAP.

But all of life's errands will come first.  T_T

Hats, yunno, I dunno how you feel about IRL meet-ups but just so you know, we'd be down for it sometime if you ever feel so inclined. Since it's come up a couple of times that we're in the same area. It's funny to think about.  :blush: But it can be nice to keep a clean division between public and private lives.. same goes for online safe spaces and real life relationships. And of course, we're all occupied by our daily lives enough that meeting up is difficult. But I thought I'd just mention it anyway. >v<
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 13, 2015, 09:36:31 PM
coco, actually I do prefer to separate my private life from my online one. I think that if I ever do publish my fiction, I would probably not even do face-to-face interviews. I know it sounds weird, but that's how much I value my private life. I do believe it stems from a bit of paranoia. I was stalked before during the time I had exposure working on my high school paper, and received some really disturbing letters. It was a really scary era in my life, so although a part of me would love to meet people, I think I need some therapy first to "get over" this irrational fear of mine.  :shaded:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 15, 2015, 04:16:07 PM
I don't think it's irrational. It seems healthy to me to want to want to keep the different spheres of your life separate, especially at a time when it's so easy to get them blended. But of course, if I practically lived in the same neighborhood as you, instead of on the other side of the planet, I would probably get curious too. However, meeting someone IRL is also a risk since it changes the relationship. In my case, it probably wouldn't be a good idea since I'm so shy. It takes time to me to open up to people.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 27, 2015, 07:05:51 PM
I'm starting to plan my next vacation, in December. At first, I intended to stay at home but now, I'm seriously considering spending a few days in Istanbul. I've always dreamed of going there and accommodation is so much cheaper than in New York!  It could be really nice. :kekeke:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Xekuhz on September 27, 2015, 09:46:03 PM
If you're ever interested in NY let me know!
i live here so i can make a few recommendations :)

though everything is pretty expensive here but there are a ton of great places too
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 04, 2015, 05:25:58 PM
Don't worry about it Hats, totally get it. I personally feel shy about meeting online friends since I definitely feel more awkward interacting with people irl.

@Mine, Istanbul sounds pretty cool >.< I think my family is going up to Oregon for the holidays, so we'll be seeing a lot of... pretty trees. and maybe some deer haha
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on October 27, 2015, 08:49:42 PM
Hi Stiletto Heels forums, it's been a while!
Hats, sorry if my proposition made you uncomfortable in any way. Like everyone else, I totally get it. In fact, I probably felt a smidgen of relief to hear you wouldn't be up for it.. for my introvert self, it's really hard to venture out there to meet folks and risk changing comfortable relationships. It would take a lot of energy :wahhh: Although I'll admit to being curious.

I feel like I've fallen behind in work and now I'm tiding to try keep up. Feeling behind probably lowers your job satisfaction quite a bit. It's made me contemplate ditching for an opportunity to go to school to be a software engineer. But in actuality, this job probably isn't so bad, and I have a lot of relationships here that have invested in me to give me this fair opportunity. I'm not sure I should burn those bridges, so it's a lot to think about.

Mine, another place in Turkey to check out is Antalya. I stayed in a cute cheap hostel (Blue Sea Garden) right by the water that was still comfy for about 10 euro per night or something. And it was beauuutiful. And warm. And people were friendly and hospitable to strangers, it made me feel so different from studying abroad in Florence where they're all relatively aloof city-people. That said, I was obviously travelling by myself and stood out because I don't think there are many Asians, so maybe I seemed more vulnerable and in need of hospitality. Anyway...

Hats, since you are in the US, would you be interested in becoming a software engineer? Probably, you wouldn't feel the need for a career change, but just in case it was ever an interest of yours that you couldn't attain, there's a new school that's offering its first cohort (open to all ages and backgrounds in the US) free tuition. I can inbox you the name if you're interested, but I think there's only a few days left for the first part of the application to be filled out (still manageable if you want to do it).
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 01, 2015, 05:19:19 PM
I'm kind of depressed that the weekend is already over. I hate Sunday evenings.  :shaded: Monday mornings are hard but Sunday evenings are even harder. Past 4 or 5pm, I feel like I'm just waiting for the day to end. But at least I had a good time. My brother and his wife came over, and on Saturday afternoon, we went on a trip to a monastery isolated in the mountains. With the fall at its peak, the forest was gorgeous.
I was productive too, I managed to clean an entire chapter. I feel like my motivation to edit has come back. But once past the excitement, I realized that the end of the weekend was approaching and my mood shifted.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on November 10, 2015, 12:53:44 AM
coco, don't be sorry about it! It's not you, it's me.  :butsubutsu:
Anyway, I don't think I'm cut out to be a software engineer. I'm really not that smart. What exactly would the job require of me?

Honestly though, now that I'm thirty and I realize that working can suck when you have to pencil in your friends and family just to have lunch, being a housewife has its charms. I want to do my chores dutifully, then go out and try out all sorts of different restaurants on my husband's credit cards. Now THAT would be the life for me. Or imagine... having time to actually finish Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose, which I started ages ago but can never get past more than a few pages because of my busy work life? :ohh:

I'm glad you're adapting to work life. I guess it depends on what you want: a career or a means to an end? It's all about perspective. I don't take my job as a career, just a means to an end. My real job is being with my family and friends. That's all that matters to me. Though I do dream of writing a really BIG novel that'll rake in enough dough so I could quit my day job, lol. Damn you Diana Gabaldon! I know I can write better than you, but you are freaking making money while you sleep right now!

Caro: Oh, man, I can totally sympathize with you. Which monastery did you go to visit? What was it like? All I've ever known about them were from books and films. That sounds really exciting.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 11, 2015, 01:28:30 PM
I went to see the Grande Chartreuse (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grande_Chartreuse). We weren't able to go inside the monastery itself since hermit monks still live in it, but what makes this place interesting aren't the buildings, it's the surrounding area. The monastery was built in an isolated valley. It's particularly beautiful during the fall. The silence is impressive too. However, I wouldn't like living there. It reminded me too much of the Overlook hotel from the Shining.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on November 12, 2015, 03:16:36 AM
That sounds gorgeous Mine. I can't remember the last time I took  a trip and got to marvel at the surroundings. Or I mean, our family's gone on vacations to high falutin' places like Sante Fe, Arizona and whatnot, but I feel like I haven't gotten to really explore and take in a place like you just described in ages.  :eto:

Guys I feel so weird today @_@ It's been like 3 weeks since I stopped work (my internship at school ended) and I've been a homebody, except, both coco  and I are applying to that school she mentioned to Hats. Coding, coding, napping and not coding,  all day long, for daaaays. (We've been tasked with making websites for this part of the application). My mum ushers me out to get some sunlight, but I'm not really exercising or doing much else, so time seems to blend into itself. Also there's this weird thing I have going on with my fwb (whom I only see once like every 2.5 weeks) so that puts me in an even weirder mood.

I've been happy to finally make some moves with the personal website I've had in mind for ages, but I think I'll also be happy when the 2 week period for constructing the website ends and I can start putting a rhythm back into my life. Haha. (No fault of the application, I just have a hard time balancing tasks and a life balance).
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 06, 2015, 07:07:21 AM
I haven't been on in a while. The President of my company suddenly died of a heart attack in November, and things have just gotten back to normal. At first I was worried for my job. I'm not really sure who owns the company right now. His son was personally being groomed to take over, but now is no longer authorized to sign for high profile documents. His youngest sister seems to be the one taking over for now. Plus me and the family gorged on three turkeys and got most of our shopping done. Then we were freaked out just yesterday over the San Bernardino shootings since it hit so close to home... Not much time to come online.  :wahhh:

Kusa, let me know when your website is up! But fwb is like F.W.B, right? I honestly have never been in that sort of relationship. I fall in love pretty easily, that's why. I hope things are going well though?

/back to finishing up neglected scripts
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 06, 2015, 03:10:42 PM
Thanks for taking the time to give us some news despite your busy schedule. I wasn't really worried but it's always nice to hear from you.  :lalalala:
Today, there are elections taking place in France. I went voting earlier today and I asked my sister if she wanted to come along, since she just came of age. She refused. She's not interested. She wouldn't know who to vote for anyway. She doesn't want to take the time to read the programs we received on flyers. She has to study. The tests she has next week are more important to her than who is going to rule our region during the next few years. It made me feel sad.
Also, our cat came back hurt last night. We were really worried about him. He could barely walk. Today, he was feeling better so we let him out for a bit, since he was getting nervous, and he hasn't come home for several hours. So we're starting to worry again. Naturally, we don't know how he got hurt in the first place. It wasn't the result of a fight with another cat, and if he had been hit by a car, he probably wouldn't have walked away from it. Cars drive really fast in our neighborhood. My parents think he might have been hit by someone but who would be cruel enough to do that?  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 07, 2015, 05:15:29 AM
Aww, Caro, your poor kitty! My house is four houses down from two bars, so cars here are scary as well. One time a man got run over and the driver just took off because he was most likely drunk. The neighbors went out to look for the guy who got run over with their flashlights. Maybe your cat got into a fight with another cat or a large dog? Our male tabby (the one that got hit by a car in May and died) was attacked by a dog and that popped one of his legs out of its socket. You might want to check to see if he's lethargic and not willing to move around a lot. There could be other injuries that aren't noticeable at first. Cats are good at hiding their pain. I didn't even know my cat had a broken leg until they did the X-rays.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 07, 2015, 08:12:29 PM
He's feeling better now. He was playing when I came back from work. Apparently, I was just being paranoid. But my mom will keep an eye on him just in case, especially since we don't know what happened to him.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on December 09, 2015, 05:24:29 AM
I haven't been on in a while. The President of my company suddenly died of a heart attack in November, and things have just gotten back to normal. At first I was worried for my job. I'm not really sure who owns the company right now. His son was personally being groomed to take over, but now is no longer authorized to sign for high profile documents. His youngest sister seems to be the one taking over for now. Plus me and the family gorged on three turkeys and got most of our shopping done. Then we were freaked out just yesterday over the San Bernardino shootings since it hit so close to home... Not much time to come online.  :wahhh:

Kusa, let me know when your website is up! But fwb is like F.W.B, right? I honestly have never been in that sort of relationship. I fall in love pretty easily, that's why. I hope things are going well though?

/back to finishing up neglected scripts
Oh no. I hope your job is safe, and that your company adjusts well to new leadership.
My mom baked a turkey for the first time, American style. We usually do some sort of leg roasting or dump it in soup. This time she watched a youtube video that explained how to roast a whole turkey simply and have it look all nice like in the magazines. You just brush on melted butter onto the skin after salting it. It turned out pretty well, and was pretty easy, like the video said. No stuffing, aside from herbs cooked in butter.

For Thanksgiving, we went to the beach in SD. Going to the beach to my mom means harvesting seafood, so we harvested sea snails and small mussel clams. The sea snails turned out tastier than the mussel clams in the end. It was a nice time, still sunny down there in the southern part of SoCal. My mom also caught a nice shiny fish that we gave to kids in a bucket to play with. I was afraid it was going to die in the small container she initially caught it in.

I know what you mean about feeling like the S.B. attacks are so close to home. We actually live in San Bernadino county (although the edge of it), so I just kept on thinking, this is the closest we've ever been to one of these prolific shootings that America has, and it's the most violent one since Sandy Hook.

Mine, I don't think we asked you how you felt when the Paris attacks happened. Hope all is well.

Website!! This isn't Kusa's (who's kind of shy about sharing hers) but mine. I felt the topic is kind of relevant to Stiletto Heels. http://173.246.107.90/index.php I mean, we even plastered Momoko on the homepage as an introduction image.
I was all geared up to run this site as I was designing the website during the application, but it turns out we lose access to the servers, which were rented. And I would migrate the work to another server of some sort, but we're going to be so busy with the start of the school in SF that we might as well not bother. :( Most of the josei we read is introduced to us by Stiletto Heels, so we're really not experts, just enthusiasts who thought it'd be cool to have a josei community, and if I were running it I would be recruiting lots of legit josei fans to do the actual writing.

By the way, we both did end up getting accepted to the software engineering school in SF, so we'll see how that goes...  :yesss:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 11, 2015, 05:32:55 AM
Ugh, coco, I can't believe you guys were so close to the shooting! I know it's still a little ways from the actual place, but it still must have been horrible to know that it happened so close.

Anyway, the guy I'm seeing and I were literally flipping chairs and hyperventilating before that happened because we saw (belatedly) the trailer for the FF7 Remake. FF7 may be overrated to some, but it was the love of my life as a tween. I spent more time making Cloud battle monsters in the Mideel Forest so I could jack up everyone's HP to 9999, than I did eating (probably). He did too. I think this guy is for keeps. Not only has he played my beloved FF7, but he knows what I'm talking about when I say I wept when "Gremio was eaten by spores in Suikoden."  :puppyeye: When he clicked on the remake link, and we saw Cloud standing in the train station, we both turned to look at each other simultaneously and screamed, "OH MY GOD!"

But then now that joy is mixed with a little bit of guilt because I realized how easily I could get over a tragedy happening "next door". I guess, I don't want to dwell over it too long, especially with everyone acting all crazy and buying guns. Even my friend is carrying a gun in her car now. (Her husband is a police officer in Garden Grove.)

Your link didn't work for me though. Not sure why?

Anyway, I better take advantage of this time to finish up this damned script. I keep falling asleep and leaving it hanging, when I've only got ten more pages to go! So close! :butsubutsu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on December 13, 2015, 07:28:15 AM
I get what you mean about not wanting to dwell on the shooting. Although it might be unfair to the victims, I'm totally like that too. I think most of us secretly try to put it past our minds, it's how that American populace has taken care of issues for a while. Haha.

Aww. I'm happy you had a moment with that guy (is this the suitor who even had dinner with your family to pursue you?). Also, I fall over guys super easily too  :umm: it would have behooved me to give that some thought before I heedlessly waltzed into sexual relations, but it's done now!

Anyway, I like my fwb a lot and I've enjoyed getting to know him. It's just confusing because we have some really attached-like moments but at the same time this kind of palpable reserve between us. At one point we said we would see where things go between us, but I think we're each holding back. Still....

So yeah. Things are complicated ^^' I won't lie and say I'm not hung up over him. I'll probably be seeing him the last time before I leave sometime next week.

I guess we pended too long to share our websites with y'all. D: Looks like the servers were cleared of data. My website was funky anyway, but if I ever get some server space to rehost it, I'll definitely share here!

Moving items are stressful. I actually don't have much on my plate, but I get as little done a day as ever... Hopefully this SSRI medicine I've started will help me do a little more each day. I have so many things I've been shirking. n_nU Best of luck with that script Hats!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 29, 2015, 07:16:45 AM
All I can say, Kusa, is be careful with your heart. In the end, you're an adult, so the choice is ultimately yours to make. Just don't get hurt is all I'm saying.  :butsubutsu:

I have a terrible cold right now AS WELL as allergies. This is a double whammy for me. The Sekine script I'm working on needs four more pages. Four! But I can't stand it and I need to go to sleep. Everyone is on vacation and I don't want to leave my office hanging, so I'm going to go hot towel my face and see if it helps.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 31, 2015, 04:38:46 PM
I had a cold this week as well. I caught it on Christmas Eve, because I put on a nice dress without considering the cold weather.  :shaded:
As a result, I spent the whole week coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose. I even had trouble speaking at some time. What made it worse was the fact that I have to spend a lot of time on the phone for my job. I'm finally getting better but tonight, I'm going to be faced with a dilemma : I want to dress up to celebrate New Year's Eve but I don't want to get sick again. I'm wisely going to prioritize my health this time.  :butsubutsu:
This week, my whole family excepted me was on holidays. Getting up at 5.45am everyday was so depressing! What made up for it was the fact that I had a really nice time in Vienna the week before that. Visiting this city just before Christmas was worth it, even though the sun went down at 3.30pm. Austrians seem to take Christmas really seriously. There were Christmas markets on practically every street corner! :D I also visited tons of museum, since most of the year, I basically live in the middle of nowhere.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on December 31, 2015, 07:33:13 PM
Minelauva,
I loved Vienna when I went last year. What museums did you go to? I stopped by the Belvedere and the Natural History Museum. It's a really beautiful city. I loved all the large, white buildings and the overall feel of the city.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 01, 2016, 03:17:28 AM
Gosh, you guys get to travel so much. All my adventures take place in my armchair or near home.  :lazybum: Maybe it's because where I live is a thriving city, and there's just a little TOO much going on that I crave peace and quiet. No crazy New Years Party for me. Me and the guy will be spending time indoors with a movie. I finally got around to buying Timbuktu (Minelauva's suggestion) and Wolf Totem in 3D Blu-ray (my bf's suggestion). 

Caro, you and I were basically going through the same things. Weird! But now my runny nose is almost gone and I can at least sit up at my computer instead of laying down and translating in bed. I hope you feel better. Glad you decided to take the health first initiative. We don't want you collapsing in the middle of the street!

I was kind of feeling super sick when my dad dropped off the souvenirs from my younger brother's trip last night though. He and his wife (the infamous sister-in-law) went to Cambodia. It turns out that I got a generic gift (book wrapper) that was given to everyone my family knew, while everyone else living with me got scarves and keychains made out out wood carvings. I quietly went into my room and burst into tears. I really think it was being so sick that has me so emotional. I told the guy I'm seeing about it. How I wanted all my family to get along as before. How  I felt really distanced from everyone, and that I wanted to get along with my sister-in-law but nothing I do seems to change anything. He told me, "You can't have everything your way. You can't make everyone like you. Just be civil with her, and don't expect your supposed to be BFF's because that's not what she wants." I'm not sure how I feel about this statement, but I guess he's right...

BUT! I'm feeling so much better now, and at least I have been able to translate a lot more than usual. It's not Vienna, but I have dirty and smokey LA!  :butsubutsu:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 01, 2016, 04:12:00 PM
If I described everything I have seen in Vienna in detail, my post would get too long, but here are the main monuments and museums I visited there, and what I liked the most:

- The imperial apartments and the Silberkammer : The Grand Vermeil service and the porcelain dishes
- The Kaiserliche Schatzkammer: I learnt how German emperors were elected, and the fact that they were elected in the first place, and saw many beautiful objects that used to belong to the emperors.
- Schönbrunn: It's nice, but not as stunning as Versailles.
- Melk abbey, as well as many churches : The church from Melk abbey is the most impressive baroque church I have ever seen, but the Jesuitenkirche was also the extremely beautiful. However, the most touching church was Ruprechtkirche, an old Romanesque church.
 The MAK (Austrian museum of applied arts) : The rooms dedicated to Asian arts and to Jugendstil were the ones I liked the most. There were also beautiful ancient Persian carpets.
- The KHM: Unsurprisingly, I particularly liked Bruegel's paintings and the Kunstkammer.
- The Belvedere: I was disappointed by the paintings displayed but the museography was nice.
- Leopold Museum: I felt truly lucky to get to see so many of Egon Schiele's paintings. I only knew this artist by name before. This is the museum I liked the most after the KHM. It's dedicated to Austrian painting from the first half of the 20th century and is very instructive.

This trip was very interesting since I didn't know much about Austrian culture, art and history. However, I have to admit that I couldn't help being slightly disappointed everytime I visited a museum. The last trip I made was to New York, where I got to see some of the best museums in the world. They were the ones I last visited before going to Vienna, and it kind of spoilt the whole trip, and probably all the museums to come, for me. The MET is simply the most stunning, the most impressive museum I have ever visited. Even the Louvre doesn't compare to it. I feel lucky to have gotten to see it but I also feel bitter when I think that I won't get to see it again anytime soon. I still feel mostly lucky. The Asian Arts room of the MAK reminded me of the spectacular Asian Arts section of the MET. There were beautiful chinese statuettes of polo players and several japanese ink paintings. I feel amazed everytime I get to see some of those.

I saw Wolf Totem as well and I really liked it. It's a completely apolitical movie, which can seem strange given the time at which it takes place, but it's beautiful.

I agree with your boyfriend regarding your sister-in-law. You can't change her. It might seem cheesy but the only thing you can do, and the only thing that matters in the end, is to stay true to yourself. I kind of feel sorry for her though, because her behavior towards you reflects a mentality and a conception of family totally different from mine. I wouldn't like being in her shoes. I can't see how she could possibly lead a fulfilling life while being petty and spiteful towards someone who shares her husband's blood, who grew up with him (or towards anyone, really). In a way, it's like rejecting a part of him. But if that's how they want to live, it's their choice and you can't do anything about it. The only thing you can do is protect yourself and those you love by behaving properly with them.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on January 04, 2016, 07:59:19 PM
I got sick too! This was before Winter Break (starting the 24th) so it was a while ago. But I got pretty sick, with a nose and throat cold, you know, the state of periodically having to blow mucus out of my nose so I could breathe. I stayed home two days in a row. Mostly so I could avoid work than anything to do with the cold, though. :blush:

Hats, you are lucky. I am not looking forward to moving to SF where it's cold, grimey and there are tall towers everywhere. I think I prefer LA to SF. I prefer warm weather!!! Cry. Everyone likes to talk about how exciting the Bay is and how it's a great city for young people, etc. But I'm not so sure how hot I am about that self-congratulatory Silicon Valley culture (aka what I think of as yuppies). Maybe I'm being negative, though.

My apartment also has a no heater or heater strictly limited rule when my mom is in the apartment. That's how she always scrounged money when we were growing up, so I think it offends her taste when we heat up our apartment. I resent it. I won't lie, I think that contributed to me getting sick, aside from being too skinny and having poor body insulation. And I feel that we have enough money now that we can pay to keep ourselves comfortable in our own house. It gets to 50 degrees without the heater and feels colder inside than outside! What's the point of saving money for the sake of saving money when you live a miserable life to do it? But, with us moving to SF and giving up my income, I'll admit we probably won't have that money for long...  :wahhh:

I'm on my own for two weeks with new room mates. We got people to take over our lease (saving us a $3000 lease breaking fee) but we're letting them move in early, for free I might add, for their convenience. I'm just glad someone wanted to take over the lease, so I'm not going to ask them to pay. Mom and Kusa are up north in the Central Valley where our home is. Our mom is a hoarder, probably bred from the habits of poverty.. the house is full of stuff. I just wish I could clean up the house, have a season of anime-watching, work on projects, brush up on Italian/Korean, etc. (but in reality I would probably never have the motivation to carry on all of that by myself, except watching anime and maybe cleaning the house). Two weeks until I no longer have to go to work... two weeks.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 05, 2016, 02:50:27 AM
coco, the surprising thing for us down here in LA is that the prior weeks, we were hitting below 50's. I think on most days it was about 40-50 degrees, and then dipped to upper 30's at night. You know how us So Cali girls complain about 60 degree weather being cold? Our lips were too chapped from the frost to even part themselves in objection! My guy friends from Boston and Cincinnati used to laugh in mockery at me, but not this year!

Hope the moving goes well. But to my extensive knowledge of anime-season-watching, I predict you will hardly have time to clean. I'm a little jealous that you still have the desire for it though. I haven't been able to enjoy anime the way I used to. I'm like waaaay behind. Still stuck midway through Spice and Wolf: Season 2 and BARELY starting on Space Dandy and Space Brothers. (Yes, I'm a nut for outer space.) I'm really obligated to watch them though since I paid good money for the Blu-ray sets. I want to get into anime again, the way I used to when I was in my mid-twenties, but I think the bulb is dimming on that front. Which ones are you planning to invest time in this month?

Caro: Looks like you had an amazing trip! I looked up some of the museums you mentioned to get an idea of what you were talking about, and what was in their collection. I don't really visit museums or art galleries. I go to the Downtown Art Walk in Downtown LA. That's more my type of thing. But it would be cool to have someone more knowledgeable take me to one of the museums you mentioned. I always feel a little lost because I don't understand art...  :2ndlump:

Thanks for your advice on my little personal battle. I have to stop letting these things bother me. This internalization is only doing myself harm. The thing is... before I got sick and before they went on their trip, I bumped into the younger guy I broke up. He was waiting to eat at a restaurant with my brother and his wife, and I was there with my girl friends. I think maybe that's why I have been having such a hard time with this situation. He just brought back really bad memories. I thought I was moving on and doing so well, but now I feel like I haven't completely got him (and the whole wedding thing) out of my system yet.

Anyway, back to translating before I fall asleep.  :lazybum:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on January 07, 2016, 07:29:44 AM
Brrr... That sounds miserable. :bymaself: I'm glad we went up to Oregon in a way during Christmas break. It was snowy and stuff but at least we could turn on the heater on vacation.

Oh, Hats. That was all wishful thinking! I don't think I will have time to do any of it. :P It's a, if only I could have a couple of months with nothing to do but all my hobbies.. I think I must be some kind of slob. I'm the same as you. I haven't enjoyed anime the same way I used to, only for me that time was during middle school. I stopped watching so much anime after our brother (the anime supplier and curator) left for college when I was in high school.

Well, I might have started developing my own taste by that time. He had a penchant for slapstick comedy like Hayate no Gotoku / maid android comedies / some blue-haired squid-girl, and while we used to tolerate them well and could even be entertained by some of these when younger, I could hardly tolerate them by the time he left. Lol. But I tolerated it anyway because I loved him and the spare few moments we could connect with him by watching his anime. Sigh.

Dry slapstick aside, he did have good taste in the rest of the anime he watched, though.

Anyway, yep, I'm stuck in Spice and Wolf (maybe barely began season 2?), and have been missing the second or following seasons of a lot of other animes (sorry if I improperly pluralized that): Moyashimon, Mushi-Shi, K-On, Darker than Black, Eden of the East. Probably have forgotten more. Haruhi reboot(?) and FMA: Brotherhood, but I'm kidding myself if I think I'll ever get to watching those. I did watch a couple ep. of Space Dandy and it was decent but I seem to fail in motivation to continue some series.

If I did get to watch more anime here and there during breaks while studying, I think the ones I mentioned in the first list would be good options. Yeah. Stick to the old and nostalgic, what I know I liked in the past. I seem to have a hard time getting past a couple episode with new anime like Tokyo Ghoul or Psycho Pass or Steins;Gate despite their reputation. I also might watch Chihayafuru, the second season of Gate and the 2nd season of Akatsuki no Yona, whenever that comes out, my good old fantasy-setting with shojo protagonist guilty pleasure. Nadeseico and Escaflowne might also be good as oldschool options for the nostalgia factor, and I've been meaning to watch Grave of the Fireflies. But that was when I thought it was sci-fi and I just looked it up and it's a war movie.. no, I don't think I can handle sad and poignant without a dose of cyberfuturism. T_T

For now, I've been watching KZ Tantei Team Jikan Note because it's light, short (9 min episodes) and innocent and features a middle school cast, so I can't take it too seriously (and I'm not excluding Kusa from watching anything too important together). The main character is cute and struggles socially in a way that also rings true with me or my middle school self. Awww.

If you could read past all of that, my suggestions for shows to stoke your stirrings of your old passion might be Barakamon, Shinsekai Yori and Parasyte. Those are the ones that did the trick for me recently, although it never quite reached the feel of my childhood enthusiasm. Something happens when you grow old.. you lose something... Anyway, if you watch a couple of eps and don't feel interest, it could be we have different taste though.

The day before yesterday, when I first read your post, I was struggling to stay up because it had gotten to evening, and resorted to reading good old Sekine releases to stave off the loneliness of being tired while alone but having two new room mates around. Geez, who knew it could be hard to cook and still have the energy afterward to clean or pack, nevermind to work on work after work. I have no idea how you hard-working scanlating slaves do it. I decided to glug some coffee in hopes it would give me the willpower to do the various post-dinner tasks, but it didn't work. If anything, I was still tired but felt the unpleasant physiological response to the caffeine with a headache, higher heart rate, etc., and had the premonition that it would soon result in being tired and wanting to sleep but not being able to sleep for the whole night.

Also, I was feeling nauseated. Like, maybe that one cup of coffee was too much for me? I made the instant ginseng coffee because that stuff is strong, you know. Maybe my body was too tired to handle it. Anyway, I eventually barfed it up and thought maybe that was the end of it. But apparently it wasn't, because apparently my body decided it was necessary to barf up the entire contents of my tummy, over the course of several hours, in several rounds.

The barfing was not that bad, in terms of barfing; it seemed to come up easily. But over the course of hours and prolonged rounds, it did get a lil wearying, and started to be punctuated by spells of curl-up-like-a-tiny-caterpillar-to-fight-off-chills and wrapping myself in silk blankets and resting my head on a cushion to snatch some moments of lightly fevered and progressively dehydrated sleep. This started at 12 am and went on to maybe 3 am, or so. At one point, when I semi-woke to the realization I had successfully sipped some water without it coming back up for a while, I broke into a happy, delusional crooning of a snippit of "Close to you (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFx-5PGLgb4)" by the Carpenters (this song had been stuck in my head before I went to sleep).

"Why do birds... suddenly fly .. [croons] ... -- just like me, they [croons], close to you..." I must have been happy because I was doing this before being totally aware of what exactly I was doing. I wondered with some amusement if my room mate might have heard.

Through this spell I speculated as to the possible reasons I might be going through this, and ordered them in my head in order of most probable causes according to my feelings to least probable.

I did learn a couple things from this episode.

I'm sorry if you didn't ask to read a long, drawn-out episode about unpleasant body fluids. I'm at that same stage where I managed to feed myself today, but it got late (9 p.m.) and I no longer had the energy to work or clean. I can muster enough energy to write a Stiletto Heels forum post, though. When it's not unpleasant (like reading josei manga), it's not hard to power through. But otherwise, I'm tired... :( I might be a demotivated puppy / slob.

Hats, your stories about your family and in-law strife always touch me. It's probably not exactly the effect you're striving for, but it does seem sad. I feel like saying, Have you tried talking to her? or Maybe you have to resign to things not being the same way after you get in-laws, like a happy everyone-gets-along family, but you can compromise and ask your brother to just spend a little time with you here and there. Get what you can while being within reasonable terms. But the reality is probably different from what advice automatically springs in my mind. And whether the case of misunderstanding or true bitchiness, she and the whole ordeal does seem really unpleasant.  :(

Are you going to dish us the goods about your current man, by the way? You know we like those juicy details. Ah, but it's your discretion what to keep in your life and what to put in our greasy little palms. :P Wow, I do like to write essays.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 09, 2016, 08:15:47 AM
Lesson of the day: If the food/cooking utensils looks suspicious in any way, shape, or form...do not attempt to cook and eat! Nice to know you've emptied your bowels into the bathroom toilet. Gastronomical adventures aside, you have survived. As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger? I swear by this philosophy because I have barfed my way through lots of things and now I don't even flinch when it happens anymore. :cool:

By the way, I ate ssamjang the other day too. With plain white rice. It sucks when I cook my lunch at work, and then when I come to an empty house I have to go into the cold kitchen. That night I was like, "Crap, I have to cook again?" Then I spotted the tub of ssamjang on the counter, and the rest is history. Fortunately, unlike you, I did not get sick, even though my sister came home later and told me that she had left it on the counter for over a week. See? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! Do you cook Korean food a lot at home?

Anyway, regarding the sister-in-law... No, we never talked it out. I have tried before to try to sort things out and she would just look at me like I was speaking Martian.

Brother: She thinks you hate her for some reason. Can't you try being a little nice to her? I really like her.
Me: What? I barely even know her! How can I hate her?

Few days later...

Me: Hey, I heard that you thought maybe I didn't like you. I just wanted to say I don't have any personal vendetta against you. I'm really just shy with people I don't know, so it takes me a while to warm up to people.

A look of utter bewilderment crosses her face.

Sister-in-Law: Oh, I don't know what you mean! I never said that!

Me: Well, that's OK if you didn't. I hope we can be friends.

Sister-in-Law (smiling): Yeah, of course.

That night my brother angrily texts me.

Brother: Why did you confront her like that?

Me: Dude it's 1 AM in the morning!

Brother: She told me I shouldn't tell you stuff we talk about in private. And WTH is vendetta. She said she doesn't even know what that means!

I immediately turned my phone off and went back to sleep. The private stuff she had discussed with him when they were "just friends" was me. I didn't even know her then. I was dating this guy who did know her, but that I didn't know she knew! I was also getting along with her brother and mom through my younger brother. Her parents are divorced and she was living with her dad at the time. If she just told me from the beginning, "I want you to stay away from my friends, my family, your brother, and even your parents," I would have been like, "Dude, you can have them." No need to be dramatic about it.

Her mom told me that she always gets whatever she wants, and in the end she did.

So that leaves me. My mom apologized to me today about the souvenir debacle. I guessed that my older sister had blabbed to her about it. She told me that she knew that I got the least. I mean, she said it like five times. "I know you got the least out of everybody. I know you got the least out of everybody. " It just sounded so sad coming from her. So I sucked it up and said, "You know what, it's OK." And, really, it was. Because during the wedding she didn't even speak to me, but today she was so happy to see me that she wanted to cry.  :puppyeye:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 09, 2016, 08:33:13 AM
Oh! And there is nothing exciting about the guy I'm dating now. We met as blind dates. He's the one I went to sleep on and left hanging before. Honestly, I don't normally date out of my race. I think it's a cultural barrier thing. I can't stand guys who don't respect my parents. He also didn't think we'd last because he thought I was conceited and only cared about clothes. I mean, I do care about fashion, but I don't think I'm a supermodel or anything. Well, we were pretty boring for a while. Until I invited him up to my room to watch a movie  he said he had been dying to see that I had. But, no, not even then because I stuffed everything into the closet... But then he joked about my room being clean because I probably dumped everything into the closet, and before I could stop him, he opened my closet door and discovered my piles of mangas and anime. Everything was weird after that until he called me to tell me a few days later that he couldn't stop laughing in public whenever he thought about what happened. Guess that was the ice-breaker. Also he likes to talk on the phone, not text. That is just super cool in my book.

But he's gone since last Sunday to see family in Missouri. It's been a while since I've felt kind of lonely when I'm at home. I've been on here everyday keeping busy with scanlations.   :shaded:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on January 11, 2016, 09:56:19 AM
Staying up late to work on the transition manual for my replacement. That's what happens when you avoid working on work after work all the way until the end of the day due to various tasks and errands during the day. Ha, ha... Let's see what I can accomplish in the next 5 hours, if I can even work for that long late at night.

At this point, I'm trying to resign myself to not doing a completely thorough or perfect or complete job, and telling myself it's OK to make a less-than-perfect impression on others, similar to my approach to thesis. Certainly, other folks I know wouldn't even feel this great a sense of responsibility in the first place. It is what it is. *repeats like a mantra*

I'm pretty sure I go on here to write posts often because I'm lonely without Kusapet. Now I understand what it means to be a singleton. I always had my partner by my side. Even when I went to Italy, she was the one left behind, whereas I was kept occupied by a new environment and new challenges.

I also have an aversion to dating outside my race. To be specific, to dating white men, because I feel they wouldn't understand the experience of being a minority. But that's not true. I've had crushes on white guys before, and one of my latest crushes was a white guy. It's just a particular type of white guy who seems mainstream and doesn't seem to have particular sensibilities to make up for it that I stray away from. Because I guess I never felt so mainstream in my own life.
Aw, Hats. That sounds cute, like a manga moment. My inner josei nerd peeking out. :smiley: I love talking about romance with other people because you can always gossip and share moments that are particularly ticklish or sweet.

I liked the guy I mentioned above because he made tea for me in my linguistics class. It was novel because I usually like the good-looking guys (pretty boys) that are most likely out of my league, but this guy was a friendly dork and not particularly attractive--the kind who's friendly to everyone. But he was friendly to me even though I'm pretty non-expressive and reserved in class, plus he was smart in a way I couldn't compare, and socially conscious. And who makes chai tea for someone else of the opposite gender? That was sweet. (note to self: good move to impress the ladies) I think you automatically pay attention to people who seem to pay attention to you, particularly if you don't get a lot of attention from the opposite gender. He was still in Socal after graduating, just like me. Too bad I'm moving.

I'm a little let down, though. There was a guy I got to talking a bit with online during the school application process, and I liked that he seemed smart and expressed himself in an articulate manner and with similar sensibilities to my own. If anything, I wanted to get to know him better, even as a friend, because I don't have many male friends (cough: none.) and I was looking forward to meeting him at the school if he attended. But he kinda poofed, probably due to visas issues and opting to pursue his current path of study instead of dropping out to attend the school remotely. I'm just disappointed he didn't share a reason or stay in touch. I messaged him on FB, so we'll see if he responds.

All that romance talk over, ssamjang: I don't cook a lot of Korean at home, but I like Korean food. I just like spicy flavors. I'd like to learn more about Korean cooking, but I've been spoiled by my mom cooking my food for me when she lived with us. And ingredients cost money to buy; otherwise I'd love to experiment learning how to cook in different styles and recipes.

Quote
As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?
I understand this mentality. Haha. I grew up eating expired foods, although I won't go so far as to eat food that's molded or obviously expired (not just according to the date). Well, that used to be the case. I picked up my eating habits from my mom, even though we berated her all the time in the past for her risky eating habits. Another one of those poverty adaption tactics, like hoarding. One time she got severe food poisoning from what we assumed at the time was expired yogurt from the local discount store, and seemed on the verge of expiring herself with bloody stool and vomit for several days (before she found and went to a place that provided pro bono services to people without health insurance).

Now she thinks she was deliberately poisoned by my dad.. and I have to admit it seems plausible, given that he was having an affair with another close family member at that time. You never know what people are capable of, I've found out. She often recounts that he drove all the way back from San Francisco rapidly, speeding, to prevent her from going to a hospital. I won't go so far as to assume that was the cause, though, like she almost does. It could just have been he was trying to avoid the thousand-dollar medical bill.

I'm ruminating about all of that mess because it came up recently during the Oregon vacation. Maybe I should use a filter when I'm writing, though. :shaded:

Why does your brother like your sister-in-law, though? The way you describe her, it's hard to imagine how you can like a person petty in personality. I understand siblings are different from you in personality and can have different taste, though. Do you feel like your brother is a discerning person?

Quote
If she just told me from the beginning, "I want you to stay away from my friends, my family, your brother, and even your parents," I would have been like, "Dude, you can have them." No need to be dramatic about it.
That's not true. At least the bolded part shouldn't be. :( I'm sure your family is precious to you. Although, I understand what you're trying to convey about her dramatism.

I'm happy at least your sister and mom seem to recognize how she treats you and show that they care about you. Are you and your sister close in some ways, Hats? Does Stiletto read the forum, though?  :nomnom:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Stiletto on January 12, 2016, 01:45:00 AM
Oh I do read the forum, but it's hard to keep up with everything because I have my hands full with a fifteen year old son. Yep... Fifteen. Add to that a husband who acts like he's fifteen most of the time. I married straight out of high school with a man 7 years older, fooling myself that I would be taken care of...  :hot: So I'm pretty busy with my own family.

Our younger brother falls in love with every pretty face. What made this girl stand out is that she looked like Mila Kunis. Yep, that's about it. I was the one who blabbed to our mom about the souvenirs, and I don't regret it for a minute. I don't see why Hats has to shrivel away feeling miserable when someone in the family is deliberately trying to hurt her feelings. The only consolation I think she'll get (if she's not naive enough to dismiss is) is that he looks miserable now. So what if he has his trophy wife? He looks miserable.  :wahaha:

OK... Maybe that was a little mean... but I love my soap operas and what's going on right now is like a parade of classic Thai soap tropes.

cocoyam, your story about your dad is so so sad!! What is with these men having affairs? And with a relative?? YAKK!  I wish you luck in your love life. You seem like an amazing person IRL. Let's hope he messages you back.  :headbite:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 13, 2016, 10:33:00 PM
Hi guys,

Just popping in from the middle of CA to say HI, MY LIBRARY'S INTERNET'S WORKING ON MY LAPTOP. For the moment. *cries bloody tears*

Even with the internet working, I can't avail myself to Stiletto Heel's new updates... I've got tasks to do and would feel guilty partaking in blatant gratification.

As for my heart, yeah, I have to take care of it, so I'm trying to. I hear ya sista.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on January 14, 2016, 07:07:18 AM
Oh I do read the forum, but it's hard to keep up with everything because I have my hands full with a fifteen year old son. Yep... Fifteen. Add to that a husband who acts like he's fifteen most of the time. I married straight out of high school with a man 7 years older, fooling myself that I would be taken care of...  :hot: So I'm pretty busy with my own family.
Aww! Thanks for popping in, Stiletto.  :lalalala:
15, wow. That sounds like a difficult age. Does your family give you joy?

Quote
Our younger brother falls in love with every pretty face. What made this girl stand out is that she looked like Mila Kunis. Yep, that's about it. I was the one who blabbed to our mom about the souvenirs, and I don't regret it for a minute. I don't see why Hats has to shrivel away feeling miserable when someone in the family is deliberately trying to hurt her feelings. The only consolation I think she'll get (if she's not naive enough to dismiss is) is that he looks miserable now. So what if he has his trophy wife? He looks miserable.  :wahaha:
Awawa. Mila Kunis is pretty. Is he miserable because of her personality? Or the fact his wife is creating significant familial rifts and strife? >x<

Quote
OK... Maybe that was a little mean... but I love my soap operas and what's going on right now is like a parade of classic Thai soap tropes.
If this is a Thai soap opera, Hats would be the beleaguered sympathetic protagonist who struggles with love and family, right?  :blush:

Quote
cocoyam, your story about your dad is so so sad!! What is with these men having affairs? And with a relative?? YAKK!  I wish you luck in your love life. You seem like an amazing person IRL. Let's hope he messages you back.  :headbite:
I don't know!! My dad always seemed like the semi-rational, if somewhat passive and lacking in agency, one in my parent's relationship. My mom was the vitriolic one who always felt like a victim but devoted and sacrificed herself for the sake of her family. Now I question my childhood subjectivity. What did I miss out on, was my mom justified in the way she perceived things and the way she reacted? It's really hard for me to tell. I guess I can understand how my dad might have ended up committing that affair, but nothing will ever justify it. Now, I don't know how to regard him, either.


It was a couple years ago that I found out, now, so I've been able to put it in the past and largely ignore it for the most part. But I think it will always leave a scar on my mom (possible understatement), and one on Kusa as well, since she kept the secret for several years herself. Don't worry, it wasn't Kusa though. That would have been the literal worst. It's the second-worst, though [reverse incest with an in-law]. I bet you don't really want to know, though, so I'll leave it at that.


As for my love interest, I don't think so, haha. Since he hasn't messaged me back and it's been over 24hrs. Well, that's that. He's under no obligation to fulfill my hopes for male friendship or intellectual peerage. This is just a wild guess, but I have a small inkling he may be somewhat of the socially aversive type. He seemed kind of camera-shy (although it's possible he was telling the truth when he said he didn't have a webcam for the group Skype) and a somewhat eager-to-please puppy in online interactions. You know, tending to people's emotions and taking care with his words. That can be tiring, so maybe an excessive amount of attention from strangers makes him avoidant. I can somewhat empathize with my conjecture of his personality as a fellow social hermit-type.


Well, I'm still young. Onto the other possibilities. I didn't have much of a chance to make male friends during college since I'm an introvert and attended a woman's college, so my goal is to make new male friends in my first co-ed school for a while.


P.S. I'm pretty happy atm since I somehow managed to mostly finish the project that I've been inefficient at completing during and after work. A combination of staying up late and working at work. Hurray!! I was afraid I might not make it.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 16, 2016, 02:11:45 AM
Sis: Great way to sneak in there while I was under the weather. I see what you did thar.  :eyefall:

Quote from: cocoyam
Are you and your sister close in some ways, Hats?
Yes... and no. She'll probably tell you the same if she ever gets around to it. We grew apart because she got married at 18. She may have forgotten but she was pretty much like how my younger brother is now. Husband comes first. Sister's feelings can't be considered because husband matters more. I was locked out of their house once because her husband was upset with me. BUT! She was only 18 at the time, and in her own words to me, "Experiencing a rocky first year of marriage and still immature..." We've patched things up over the years. The one thing that did bring us together was our love of Josei manga. Actually HER love of Josei manga. I was mostly into movies and British TV at the time. It's thanks to her that I started reading manga more regularly, and now here I am translating things I love to read.

Quote
Awawa. Mila Kunis is pretty. Is he miserable because of her personality? Or the fact his wife is creating significant familial rifts and strife?
I'm going to answer this one. Honestly, from my perspective, I don't think he's miserable.  I think he's "content." He and I shared similar interests. He grew up watching stuff I did, borrowing my CDs, and reading books from my library. But he gave all of that up for the basketball courts, rap music, and Keeping Up With the Kardashians of her world. There's nothing wrong with that stuff if that's what he really likes, but it's not him.

I remembered I bought tickets for my entire family to go and see "Life of Pi." He enjoyed it immensely. But a few days later when he was with her and her friends, they looked at him like he was an alien because he said, "It's not so bad. I kind of enjoyed it." Next thing you know, he was afraid to tell her he went to see Les Miserable with me because he thought she would laugh if she found out he had seen a musical.

Fast forward to just before their wedding and the big fight between us, and I was sitting in his car listening to Kanye West, thinking, "Who the hell is this kid?"

BUT! She's a 20-year-old girl who is very pretty girl that his guy friends can drool over. In their little odd way, they seem fine together. They're happy. And I don't think I have any right to wish them anything less, especially since I really do want things to get better between us.

Anyway, my mom texted me pictures of my dad out fishing wearing the coat I bought him. I guess that is her way to say, "We haven't forgot you." I'm thirty and single and, well, life doesn't seem so bad today.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 16, 2016, 02:21:20 AM
Quote from: cocoyam
This is just a wild guess, but I have a small inkling he may be somewhat of the socially aversive type. He seemed kind of camera-shy (although it's possible he was telling the truth when he said he didn't have a webcam for the group Skype) and a somewhat eager-to-please puppy in online interactions.

I do want to say that this could be true. Either that or he's like me and has really low self-esteem. I HATE taking pictures and skype-ing too. My suggestion is to try one-on-one when he DOES get a webcam (going by what he said). Group skype sounds even more threatening from my perspective.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 16, 2016, 08:41:13 PM
Speaking of low self-esteem, I'm having a bad day, or rather a bad evening. I hate those moments when I feel completely inadequate and can't see myself having any future worth living. I'm going to go watch a movie and hope I'll feel better tomorrow.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 17, 2016, 03:09:53 AM
Oh no! I hope you feel better. Take some time to relax and catch a break!  :puppyeye:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 21, 2016, 02:31:14 AM
I wrote this a couple days ago but my internet connection closed off and I didn't get a chance to post, so here I am posting it now:

I've been there before. SSRIs help LOL. But honestly Mine, you seem pretty awesome, so don't worry too much about whatever's got you down.

Life is such a whirlwind when you're moving 300 miles and preparing to enter a new career track >_< omg;;
Coco and I have been packing for 2.5 days straight from our SoCal home and we're gonna have another 2 days of packing once we get to our mom's home.

I was watching a old movie from the 80s or smth the other day and the dude has his conscience tell him to try to figure out what's motivating the tumultuous and fickle love-interest-girl. I feel like that's what you should do with your Mila Kunis, Hats, except it doesn't seem like she's giving you a chance to try to understand her. Oh well.

Also I don't get my love interest/fwb (it's not entirely clear to me which he is at this point, lol). I feel like I've gotten better at managing my attachment to him, but sometimes we're like exchanging these small tokens of friendship and then he just drops the ball. Maybe it's his communication style, or maybe he feels weird about stuff? I dunno, I can't read his mind.

And update:
Yeah packing was intensive  :umm: :wahhh: haha. Looking at all the bags we gathered, we felt like we overpacked, but now that we're here, I'm glad we packed everything we did and feel very well accommodated.
Our hostel room is cute!

We're thinking of adding our +1, Mom, since one of the beds is actually a double, so technically we think this room could accommodate 3. We could go for that rather than hunting for an apartment in the area, which is, I've heard, dreadfully excruciating and costly. We'll see.

As for my fwb - it turns out that something came up and interrupted his day. Hope he's okay.

Everyone is congregating here for the start of school and it's a little nerve-inducing to be meeting everyone soon and seeing how we all get along >.<''' I'm sure it's like that for most all of us, but ahh~.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 25, 2016, 11:23:18 PM
OK, I've been searching my brain trying to figure out which movie you were talking about, but nothing's coming to mind! Please tell me the title (or at least the actors) so I can go to sleep one of these nights in peace!  :nuu:

Not glad to hear you're still packing. Packing just plain sucks. But then again, the big move sort of drums up excitement in your life. I know I'm feeling anxious for you, even though I'm in the process of UN-packing. It's been, like, 10 months and I still have things in boxes.

I finally got to buying another one of those Artisan DVD storage folders to organize my movies. These ginormous things hold 120 liner notes/title cover pages, and I've filled up THREE of them. I felt a bit sick to my stomach when I printed out my excel sheet of my DVD collection the other week. It was like 14 pages long at 9 pt font. I blame Rexy (one of our readers) and Minelauva for all of their movie suggestions over the years. I keep buying and buying with no end in sight. As I'm typing this, The Tale of Princess Kaguya is staring right at me. Damn you, Caro! Anyway, I digress...

The point is packing sucks, but you seem like you're having a little adventure there, being at the hostel with your sis and maybe +!? With the mom.  :bye:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 27, 2016, 06:15:10 AM
Hats, the movie is Woo (1998 - I was off a bit)! Sleep in peace! I can't believe you're still unpacking... that was AGES ago when I read your blog post about your move lol.
 :nuu:

The +1 is confirmed. A little sad to lose my privacy with my peers (we have a lot of classmates living in the same hostel! for now) but it's good to keep our mom close by so she can have some company.

Coco and I get along much better with our classmates than I could have anticipated! O_O I'm even making guy friends, which is pretty damn unprecedented. I'm also really happy with the amount of thought and energy that the founders have put into this program. Still, it's a really intense new environment and I have my more off days, so it's a weird balancing act. Also there was a stabbing right by our hostel the 3rd or 4th day we were here.

Hats, your DVD collection is whack.
 :wahaha:
*looks awkwardly at own collection of Neopets and Subeta items*
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 31, 2016, 08:28:07 PM
Quote
As I'm typing this, The Tale of Princess Kaguya is staring right at me. Damn you, Caro! Anyway, I digress...

Nyahaha! You'll see, this movie is amazing. :wildthought:
Speaking of anime, I wanted to go see The boy and the beast (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4272866/) but I missed the subtitled version, so now I have a choice between watching the dubbed version or waiting several months for the DVD to come out.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on January 31, 2016, 09:28:29 PM
The Tale of Princess Kaguya is really a very pretty film. Because I had never heard of seen a rendition of that fairy tale, I thought it was a good first time to be introduced to the story. It has all the Ghibli characteristics I love with a really beautiful style.

I'm also wondering if anyone in the group has ever been to Hong Kong? I'm considering doing a graduate program there but I've never been so it would be interesting to hear about the city.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on February 04, 2016, 12:12:15 PM
Just enough time to write a short post since I can't sleep after heading to bed early and waking up @ midnight.
SF isn't as bad as I thought--cold weather is not too cold (esp. compared to a heatless 50 degree apartment!), tall buildings are not so intimidating. Program is cool, French founders are cool wahh, I get along with the classmates and yeah. I feel pretty close to them even though it's only been 2 weeks, since we've been around each other so much (usually the whole day, including weekends).

I did hear back from my internet crush, I was surprised!! I thought I'd never hear back from him. Turns out he was being an avoidant puppy and closed off comms while being stressed about the visa/green card issue. Being an avoidant puppy sounds familiar! But I'm afraid I don't know how  to communicate with him in way that wouldn't contribute to his stress/stimuli too much. I tend to write long posts in online chat (if it's not immediate replies) and I imagine it's overwhelming. So I wasn't too surprised he didn't respond to my last msg. I couldn't think of how to alter my response in the moment, but writing this post now, I supposed I could have simply written one or two lines and waited for his reply instead. Haha. Anyway, he couldn't make this batch because of the green card thing, so he was hoping to arrive with the May batch. But well, I suspect he doesn't have a good response to stress and so I'm not entirely sure whether he'll be able to persevere against obstacles and make it out in the end. Well, I'll wish him luck, though.

I do feel a little guilty--it's hard to juggle everything and it seems all revenue sources are drying up for my mom and money problems are cropping up (leaving tenants, need for roof repairs, need to obtain new house insurance, etc). I want to be able to talk it out with her and lend an ear.. but I'm always tired when I get home, or have stuff to do, or don't have any mental energy or patience. It's tough to be a dutiful daughter, and I'm not sure I have the discipline and self-sacrificing qualities for it.

I wanted to watch Princess Kaguya too, but I also thought it looked like a subdued, depressing movie. Haha. Maybe I'll give it a shot one day..

At the school recently we've been plotting to acquire cakes for one of the founder's birthday, which is today. I wanted to buy a nice Chinese fruit cake (with light cream, spongecake and freshfruit) from a Chinatown bakery, but we ended up going with other options. We're planning on decorating one of the cakes ourselves early in the morning. Hopefully it will be nice.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on February 18, 2016, 07:37:30 PM
Broad City has started again! I love this show!  :yesss:

Quote
I wanted to watch Princess Kaguya too, but I also thought it looked like a subdued, depressing movie. Haha. Maybe I'll give it a shot one day..

I didn't find it depressing but maybe that's because I wasn't expecting it to end with an HEA in the first place. The style of the animation suits the melancholic atmosphere particularly well. I found this movie particularly engrossing but maybe that's because I'm a huge Ghibli fan.  :cheesy:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on February 18, 2016, 07:57:10 PM
OFF TOPIC ALARM!!!   :huh:

I was preparing myself to face with the misfortunes of the sweet life, but I went into the colorful world of Ghibli instead? If we had a good, dedicated forum organizer you would be kicked into the movie or even anime section now. But... heh...   :lazybum:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on February 24, 2016, 07:30:54 AM
LOL.

Sometimes Caro just can't help it. And sometimes we just can't help letting her.  :cheesy:

Worst thing that happened today was I got into it with my older sis. In all these thirty years that I've known her, she actually came out and said, "I don't read." I think I was feeling shock, disappointment, and then just plain pity. All sorts of feels. I know we have different interests, but this was news to me. (She'll probably read this. And if she is, I'll be like, "HAH! So you DO read.")
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on February 24, 2016, 02:52:12 PM
Just kidding! I like off topic treads honestly... The type of everyday chit-chat that can get to any kind of topics!  :fishing:

That's surprise for me too, Hats! Since she is also so good at spotting interesting manga series!  :cheesy:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on February 24, 2016, 08:46:18 PM
My sister shamelessly admits that she doesn't like reading, visiting museums and taking walks, basically what I like the most. I've just had to accept the fact that we have very different tastes. We don't even like the same kind of movies. More than once, I have found myself talking passionately about a book or movie I had loved for several minutes as she waited politely until I was done to answer: "I'm not into this kind of thing". End of conversation.  :shaded:

Best thing that happened to me today: I had a long day at work but I had lunch with my sister and I played with my cat when I came home.  :puppyeye:
Also, I never mentioned it here but the atmosphere has been more relaxed at work ever since my crazy co-worker quit about three months ago.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on February 26, 2016, 09:10:56 AM
I can't laugh at your sisters, because if they don't read, then I don't write!! Sometimes I must and that's a big pain, I'm telling you! It's because so many things rush into my mind that it feels almost blank!! How that happens, I'll never know. When I was preparing for the writing part of the German exam(I had to write a 5-6 paragraph letter), I frankly told the teacher, "You know what? It's not my German that lacks here, it's something else."

Well now, going back to what I was going to grumble about and let out the frustration. We live on a one-way street and yesterday they changed the direction after more than 12 years. That was done in order to send a part of the traffic of the main street into our narrow street. So now I hear the frustrated people shout:
"HOY, get out o' the way."
"Who's HOY?"
"This street goes the other way."
"It's changed now, get a clue."
"Whatever, just come a little left, yeah, come, come, come, HOP!!! Yep, now you can pass."

And the honks...  These people talk with the honks like morsing to each other. :whatdidu:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on March 13, 2016, 12:47:25 AM
Wow, Lila, that sounds terrible! I live in a pretty poor part of the city (like the part of LA where they joke about people getting knifed on the street...and it actually happens...kind of poor) and they never fix the streets or divert any traffic here. I'd hate having people honk and shout at me. Is this temporary or is it going to be permanent?

@Caro: That's good that your crazy coworker's gone then. I think that people CAN be toxic, and it's worse when you work with them because you probably spend more time with coworkers than you do family members.  :huh: Hopefully they replace the coworker with someone less nuts.


As for me, I can't wait until the time change so I can ride my bike again. I really hate driving to work. When I bike I'm up earlier than most people, and I don't have to deal with traffic. The worst thing that can happen is a car full of guys following you home. This happened to me a few days ago when I was driving home from work.

I was supposed to meet up with my boyfriend for a date, so I wore a bit more makeup than usual. These guys followed me half of the way home, but I didn't notice them until the one in the passenger's seat stuck half his body out the window and shouted at me, "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME, YOU STUPID B---TCH!" I did, but I pretended not to since my window was up. I was so afraid, my palms started sweating. They followed me like this - blasting gangster rap music and passenger guy waving and hanging out the passenger's window - for a few blocks until I slowed down and let a few cars pass, and then they gave up and went away. I drove down to the nearest plaza full of people, parked near a supermarket, kept the doors locked and called up my boyfriend to come and find me.

My boyfriend sounded super confused that I would ask him to drive to meet me in a supermarket plaza lol. I had to explain to him that this is the kind of place we "poor folks" live at, and "no amount of volunteering will prepare [him] for this sort of thing, so just get [his] butt here fast." Poor guy lives in the suburbs and doesn't know what it's like being down in this area... :butsubutsu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on March 13, 2016, 02:17:53 PM
Oh woah, Hats. That sounds scary. Well, actually sometimes these situations becomes so funny but this one is kinda serious. Good thing nothing happened. And you could get to boyfriend without harm. I hope your mood wasn't ruined... ;)

It happens often in the city where I live too. Sometimes it gets really serious, so women don't go out alone in dark hours. But my cases ended up being so funny, thanks God! I remember once I was in a bad mood in a freezing winter day, so I went for a walk in the nearest park. One hopeless young man followed me and then started begging for companionship. Honestly I was so sad for him that couldn't shout at him "get lost!" So he turned into a stalker and made my bad mood even worse. After walking a mile repeating "NO! Never! No!", when I shouted at last he said "Don't think you're something, I could care less!"  O_o me:"Was it me who followed you?"

Another time I was sitting on a bench in a park farther away from nearby area. One idiot asked "Hey, girl! who are you waiting for?" I said with a grin "My dad who's walking behind you!"  He fled without even looking back! And I was thinking it's very sweet of him to be scared of my dad! :hahaha:

It doesn't matter which part of the city, since 80% of the people in my country are struggling with economical problems knifing and thievery happens every where. In the expensive areas, they usually follow people who have gotten out from the bank. You might think they have a helper or some sort of spy in the bank, because they always know who has the cash.

But one good news! The street went back to normal. That was temporary for some political event going on near by... They were being cautious and keeping the main street open. *sigh* Do they care about us?
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 16, 2016, 10:40:51 AM
I'm going on a trip to Istanbul with my family tomorrow. I'm so excited!  :woot:
I still have about thirty pages of Principal to typeset. I'll finish them when I get back.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 19, 2016, 12:25:32 AM
Istanbul? ISTANBUL? I'm bad at geography. Where is Istanbul on the map? lol. That sounds really exciting, but with all the stuff going on in Turkey, isn't it also dangerous? Have fun and stay safe. Regardless, I've heard that it's still a beautiful place to visit.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 22, 2016, 09:42:19 AM
There were several terrorist attacks in Istanbul and Ankara recently so my mother was afraid of going there. If we hadn't already booked our plane tickets when they took place, we would probably have cancelled this trip. But it went really well. Istanbul is such a beautiful city! Besides, the weather is ideal in this season and there weren't that many tourists, probably far less than usual.
However, I just realized I forgot my e-reader in the plane. Even if it has been found, since the airport is quite far away from where I live, I won't be able to come get it. I'll just have to buy another one, but e-readers are quite expensive. I really didn't need this.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 24, 2016, 04:10:14 AM
Noooooo~! Not your e-reader!!!  :nuu: I love my kindle, so I understand your pain.

Glad the trip turned out nice.


As for me, I'm deeeead tired. Sister and her hubby got into it earlier and she broke down wailing.  I tried to get the hubby to give her some space and let her cry because he was just standing over her telling her to stop crying. Dude. When does that ever work? He told me to "go back to my room." I shot him a look like he was being an idiot. Go back to my room? GO BACK TO MY ROOM? AT THIRTY? I sucked it up though because arguing with angry people never works, but I stood my place like a mussel clinging to its rock for dear life. I will not retaliate but I will not budge just because he wants control. It's over now but wasted a lot of time. Now I have to stay up until 11 to finish translating. And I'm sure they'll all be happy and cheesy with each other again tomorrow like they always are. Bah! 

Note to future self: Get your own place ASAP.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Stiletto on April 25, 2016, 04:45:38 PM
Don't move out on me.  :wahhh: :bow:
I was stressed out.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on April 28, 2016, 04:58:29 AM
Just a quick stop here since it's been a while!
Stiletto, things all cheesy like normal again? Those kinds of arguments are the worst. Hope all is good again!

Reading those harassment stories.. makes me wonder, did we ever share the story about the car of men who threw creamers at me and Kusa while we were biking home? It was an entertaining story, but it was also the worst. We were also in an upscale college town, so you'll find deadbeats there too. Maybe even more obnoxious for it...

Kusa and I moved to a place in Chinatown since we moved out of the hostel, thanks to our mom's canto skills. Note: it's a basement. But a spacious one, good price for the sq. footage (according to SF's insane standards)! Probably cheap out of consideration for the lack of natural sunlight...
The program is still good, and we like the people in it, but shockingly, one of the founders quit this week. It's only been 3 months. His reasons for leaving aren't related to the school, but he doesn't want to disclose them (too personal maybe) and it's quite a blow.

Romance-wise: Kusa can't handle normal romantic attachments and she converted someone she started dating into a hook-up partner! Terrible. He's Canadian, ethnically Latvian, red-headed and relatively cute. Did I mention they met on a hike? Ugh. He's going back to Canada for four months. We have a male room mate, but much as I'm fond of him, he's an entitled manchild. Kusa also forms romantic attachments too easily and quickly (she's still getting over her previous hook-up partner in Socal..) She likes this immature manchild too, so I can't trust her taste. This girl...
(Notice I have no romantic news of my own.  :wahaha:) But I'd rather be myself than be like Kusa right now. #independent #unencumbered #theschoolconvertedustotwitteraddicts:( #twitterispartofthecurriculum
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 04, 2016, 12:52:26 AM
Haha, coco, I clearly remember that biking slash creamer story. Well, it wasn't a funny situation to you (or Kusa), but imagine if Jean-Pierre Jeunet (of Amélie fame) directed a film and added that scene in it? I'd go and see that film any day!  :wahaha:

Why is Kusa hooking up with a Latvian red-head? I mean, why is she dating him first and then hooking up? Isn't it the other way around? But wait, isn't that normal for relationships to head that way? The hooking up part comes AFTER the awkward dating part, doesn't it? OK, I'm getting confused, so I'll wait for her to come and explain her self. *crosses her arms and taps foot impatiently like a deranged math teacher*

Chinatown in SF has great history. You're in an awesome place. The one down here has a history laced with dead chickens for me. Every time I go to the one in LA, we hear squawking chickens being mechanically slaughtered. I mean, seriously. It's like a chain of incomplete squawking. They've barely had time to open their throats to "SQUA--" Onto the next. "SQUA--" And next. But that's where we go get our chickens. And dim sum. And bootleg Korean and Hong Kong dramas. :uhh:

It's probably my worst week of the day today. I'm dead tired. My eyelids feel sticky kind of dead tired. But I promised myself that I would try to turn in a chapter of translations every other day in May, so that I could take a small vacation in June. I wish Okazaki Mari made more sense though. She'd make today's translating process go a lot smoother if she didn't use so much hard kanji. My kanji skills suuuuck! Why can't she be easier to translate like Ikuemi Ryo.  :butsubutsu:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on May 04, 2016, 04:50:19 AM
Guys... I have no need for romance manga these days... My own life has turned into a torrid series of overly-wrought affairs and living it fills me with enough mistiness that if I were to take a look at a single spread by Okazaki Mari my eyes would probably just start dimming with tears, like

(http://38.media.tumblr.com/fd51d4c7d5ee0e513c4bba0b26e3436c/tumblr_ndyj3q3VZU1sibpv8o1_500.gif)

Haha.
Dramatics aside. Your request is my command!

Why is Kusa hooking up with a Latvian red-head? I mean, why is she dating him first and then hooking up? Isn't it the other way around? But wait, isn't that normal for relationships to head that way? The hooking up part comes AFTER the awkward dating part, doesn't it? OK, I'm getting confused, so I'll wait for her to come and explain her self.

I dunno..! I liked him well enough but I felt like if we were to keep meeting up like our first date (yes, I only gave him one date before converting it to a hook-up... haha.. ^^;;) it wouldn't really go anywhere. I'd had dating experiences like that before. Plus he was gorgeous and it'd been a long time for me. I guess the impulse to hook up with him was stronger than the impulse to have him as a dating partner at that point.

But now I like spending time with him enough that I am considering very casually dating him when he gets back. I guess underneath, part of the motivation was to skip and fast-forward past that awkward dating part because it is awkward. I probably have some issues.

Haha! I never noticed the dying chickens in LA's Chinatown. Practically EVERY restaurant here is a dim sum restaurant though.

I can tell you're tired. "It's probably my worst week of the day today." lol! But you're so extremely committed to doing your scanlations! Hats! ><

There are more romance tribulations to share from my overly-torrid life if you would like. So many things happened recently! The entitled manchild coco was speaking of got a girlfriend over break. It puts me in a weird place because I like him, but I'm happy for him since we never would have been a good pair, and they seem really sweet for each other. But the tragic part is that she's sick and is making appointments at the hospital for her serious illness. Why do these tragic things keep happening?!?!!! I can't take it in real life or fiction.

I'm a little worried because he seems put out sometimes and I think it might be the fact that she's sick. I also think I might have pissed him off by bitching at him for the abysmal quality of his input when it comes to coding help, but that's another issue.

My verbal slips may have been due to the fact that I'm a little emotional today. Over break I decided that I have been hung up over things to the point of being emotionally unhealthy, and at one point coco told me maybe I should just stop texting my old hookup back already. That sort of suggestion was like a shock to my system, because I was still (and am still) so attached to him. But I thought about it and I realized there is like no context where I can imagine things working out with him, ever. So he really was/is emotional dead weight to me.

I made the decision then and there to move on from him (i.e. stop pinning some sort of hope of getting together with him one day). But since then it has really been harder to do in practice than just resolve in my head, so finally yesterday and this morning I let him know that I wanted to move on from him. That was my way of making it concrete to me. But it was hard, and now I'm sad, and I do feel a little more free, so I'm hoping it's starting to work, but really, it's hard to accept to yourself that you won't ever get together with someone you fell for. While explaining to him, I confirmed that he was holding out some hope that we might start dating someday if the opportunity arose (he'd already said that to me in the past) but the reason why it feels more feasible to him is because it's less complicated for him, i.e. he didn't go through or recognize all of the complicated struggle I went through when I was seeing him. I cried twice today.

Okay that's it! I really just used all of you to dump all my feelings and get them off my chest. This forum is really excellent for that, idk why. ^^'
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 16, 2016, 03:02:56 AM
*hugs Kusa* Gosh-darnit! Too much sadness in your love-life for me to handle right now.  :yesss:

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 09, 2016, 04:30:51 PM
The day before yesterday, my computer stopped working. It just won't start.  This makes me so angry! I bought it only a year ago! I'll try to get it repaired and see if the warranty is still valid but it will take some time, probably about a month. In the meantime, I'm stuck with my old laptop, which is extremely slow, so slow it takes practically 10 minutes to start, and makes so much noise it sounds as if it's about to take off.

But the worst in all this is that the cleans of Principal ch.23 are on my broken laptop's hard drive. For the first time in years, I didn't upload them on Mediafire because I was feeling lazy, and this happened. So now, I'm back at square one. I have to clean it again, all 70 pages of it.  :electrified:

So don't expect the chapter before July. I'll definitely try to finish it before July 9th though. My brother's religious wedding ceremony is taking place on that day so my sister-in-law's family is coming over from the US for the occasion. We've been preparing for that moment for more than a year so I will probably be busy for a while.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 12, 2016, 11:35:43 PM
That's possibly the worst thing that can happen. I opted for a desktop PC instead of a laptop because the last time my laptop died on me along with all the scripts, finished Q-checks, etc. I feel your pain.  :2ndlump:

June here is going to be little more than a barren wasteland. I'm using this month to catch up on scans and translations myself. Preparing for the anniversary a month in advance actually seems to have its benefits. Less stress, for one thing.

Try not to stress out too much. Happy news about your family, at least. Hope you guys have a great time.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on June 28, 2016, 02:01:19 PM
I can't work on laptops either. They're just useful when you're on the go and need to do something immediately. Desktop PC all the way! And yeah, when a technical machine breaks down it makes one stressed especially when it has a memory that is full with precious archives.

Congratulations to you and your family Minelauava. I wish you Had a nice time...!!

BTW, do you guys know what is worse than seeing a bug in an apricot?

It's seeing only half of it... OK...? :bymaself:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on July 02, 2016, 12:02:43 AM
Lila, did you just eat half of a worm?!  :electrified:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on July 02, 2016, 07:08:22 AM
More like half of the bug colony...  :dramaqueen:  << I rushed like this to the restroom and wanted to make myself throw up(sorry) or something  but it would be a waste of vitamins so I left it to Gastric acid.  >.>

What are the bugs in an apricot made of anyway? 80% apricot and 20%... uh... Protein?   *consoling herself*  :noserunning:

Summer fruits should be eaten with concentration, not while you're busy looking at other stuff!




Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on July 13, 2016, 06:55:26 AM
Oh my gosh! lol, Lilanar.

Been a long time since I've made a post here. I wish I could say I'm having a good experience at my program, but I think I get stressed out by things that aren't working so well in the school, and mismatches between people in the school. Basically it feels like we're each running our own hussles and disconnected from each other rather than being an awesome community. But maybe I expect too much. Does anyone else struggle with expectations?

 :umm:

Anyway! Getting better about (getting over) that romance stuff. I told my old fwb I wanted a break from communication, so we've been on hold since, and I think it's doing me some good. I went on a date or two but didn't feel much about it. Romance is a dead horse. I have another date with an anime buff coming up (he likes Great Teacher Onizuka), maybe this Sat. or Sun.?
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on July 13, 2016, 05:46:22 PM
Eastern Star revived GTO with a fresh release of the entire collection but I'm bummed it didn't get remastered. I still enjoy it, but I know the quality will definitely turn away potential new viewers to the franchise because it looks so dated.

Romance is still alive for me but just understated. Currently my stress at work is consuming.  I've been listening to Zion. T's " Eat" to cheer me up. Kusa, this song is meant for you too.

https://youtu.be/Ibb5RhoKfzE (https://youtu.be/Ibb5RhoKfzE)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on July 17, 2016, 01:26:31 AM
I'm sorry that work's been stressing you out lately, Hats! Hopefully it work itself out sometime soon and you can get back to spending time with your beau...I found "Eat" a bit funny with its imagery. Haha.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 08, 2016, 05:46:09 PM
Not really my beau anymore, kusa. At least not after last week. I told him that I don't really see myself married to anyone in the future. I just can't imagine myself married right now. He's giving me the cold shoulder, but that's only fair I guess. The price of honesty can be harsh...
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on August 12, 2016, 03:11:20 AM
Not really my beau anymore, kusa. At least not after last week. I told him that I don't really see myself married to anyone in the future. I just can't imagine myself married right now. He's giving me the cold shoulder, but that's only fair I guess. The price of honesty can be harsh...

(https://thenullset.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/shock-edit.jpg)

Sorry, haha. I'm rude. Wasn't it a bit early to be talking about marriage anyway?? He sounded like a cute guy but I'd want someone who'd want to be by my side even if marriage wasn't necessarily in the picture.. Maybe it's for the best.

Sometimes I imagine myself married to someone but in the end I don't know if I want to get married, either. Something about it seems so limiting.

Cheers to us single folks, Hats. There's plenty of manga and dramas and anime to keep us happy and self-sufficient.

The guy I'm STILL hung up on (thankfully less than before) will be in my area for a week and we plan on meeting up. As always, it's a bit confusing and I hate it and I worry too much about how awful it will be (besides looking forward to it)... but I hope we get to clear the air between us.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on August 29, 2016, 04:34:30 PM
I don't really see myself getting married either. In my family, everyone assumes that getting married, or at least being in a long-term relationship with someone, and having children is the only way of being happy. One of my younger brothers got married recently and wants to start having children within the next couple of years. When my other siblings talk of their future, they all mention being married and having children as a matter of course. I'm the only one who never does, because I'm fine on my own. I have nothing against marriage but I don't see it as the recipe for happiness.

Anyway, I came back from India last Wednesday and started work again today. I took four weeks off in order to spend three weeks over there. The trip was amazing but coming back was hard. I was feeling seriously down yesterday. Today has been difficult as well. Resuming work, then coming home, settling into my old habits again after several weeks of constant discovery, completely disconnected from my daily life and worries... It was to be expected though. I'm going to try to go to the movies this week, to make myself feel better.

I went to Northern India (Rajasthan). It was so different from what I'm used to in France that walking on the street was an adventure in itself. The traffic was so wild that sometimes, I seriously feared for my life.  :wahaha: You get used to it but still, I've had enough of cows and klaxons for the rest of the year, at least. Being openly stared at as soon as I set foot outside was also seriously weird. In the subway in Delhi, I kept wondering if there was something wrong with me, because literally everybody was staring at me, and there were a lot of people. Then I remembered that I'm white. I'm complaining but I don't regret going. I saw many beautiful places but more than that, I learned a lot. I also ate particularly well. I'm going to seriously miss lassi.

I plan on going back to India, but probably not next year. There are too many countries I would like to visit. I wonder where I should go next...
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 05, 2016, 05:20:55 PM
India! India! India!  :puppyeye:
I have always wanted to go to India. In high school, for my senior trip, my Punjabi friend talked me out of it because he said that the India I know from films is different from the India he lives in. It would "shatter my dreams." I'm glad you had a great time though, Caro. I can see why it would be hard to shake off such a wonderful trip. Someday I'd like to go as well, but I always get the same kind of stares you do (even though I'm not white.)

Probably because I'm too fashionista. I realized this when we went on our annual family camping trip and while everybody looked like they had visited the same Big 5 Sporting Goods store for their outfits, I looked like I came straight out of an Urban Outfitter leaflet. When I travel, I have to take the "Southern California" outta me! People seem to always be able to pinpoint that I'm from LA.  :wahaha:

Hopefully you can settle back in to every day life without staying too long in your "low." That would really suck. Even though I like you all the same, I think you and I are incredibly productive when we're in those short spurts of "highs" we get from time to time.

I "travel" through watching movies, more often than not, so I can't say I'm not jealous of your expedition.

Quote from: Kusa
Sorry, haha. I'm rude. Wasn't it a bit early to be talking about marriage anyway?? He sounded like a cute guy but I'd want someone who'd want to be by my side even if marriage wasn't necessarily in the picture..

I didn't go into detail because I'm a little sensitive about speaking openly about my relationships. You know, especially after the two failed relationships I had broadcast online for all the world to see. When I go back and read about it, my ears turn hot...

We weren't talking about marriage. We were having a casual conversation in which he required my honesty, and I should have known better than to be so blunt and straightforward with my answer. We were just talking, and I dumped the mother lode on him. Any guy would think I'm being too...what's the English equivalent for the Japanese omoi/heavy? I have deep-seated trauma about marriage because of things that happened in the past.

While I was vomiting out stomach fluids over the weekend due to a stomach virus, he did call to check on me. I know he still cares, and it's all very sweet. Sometimes I feel a little like Helen Graham in the Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Maybe I should send him away with a "letter" to explain my story, so he could understand why I am the way I am, and that it has nothing to do with him.

Anyway, I'm 80% recovered from the virus, so I'll be doing some scanlating today, on Labor Day. I was recovered enough to actually eat, so we did a small takoyaki party at home. I'm even going to make us some mentaiko pasta for lunch. Food! Food! Food! This is the happiest I've been all week.



Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 05, 2016, 08:40:15 PM
Quote
I didn't go into detail because I'm a little sensitive about speaking openly about my relationships. You know, especially after the two failed relationships I had broadcast online for all the world to see. When I go back and read about it, my ears turn hot...

I don't like talking about myself so I understand how you feel. However, if it can make you feel better, you write well enough that you succeed in putting some distance between yourself and what you write about. So reading your posts felt more like reading a piece of fiction than witnessing someone pour her heart out on the internet.

In any case, it took me a few day to adjust but I'm feeling better this week. Last Monday, I had the awful feeling that I was slowly sleeping back into some kind of unconscious state. I'm not dissatisfied with my daily life but after three weeks of constant excitement and discovery, it felt awfully dull. I had a small existential crisis. I started wondering if by settling for this comfort, I wasn't actually going through life half dead. Listening to this (https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water-1) again helped.

I kind of admire your ability to look fashionable in any circumstances because I can't dress properly even when I try to.  :wahaha:

I hope you will feel better. Enjoy your day off!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 24, 2016, 10:45:48 PM
I decided to start exercising again this year so I signed up for fitness classes. However, I get off from work quite late so I didn't have much choice. I have zumba classes on Tuesday evenings and more classic workout classes on Thursday evenings.

I'm afraid I will never be good at zumba though. I have always been a terrible dancer. I have absolutely no sense of balance, no sense of rhythm and I am very stiff. I'm almost always behind or doing the wrong moves. It's still fun though. It's incredibly relaxing because it allows me to empty my mind.

Workout classes are much harder. I felt nauseous after the first class and ended up throwing up. The second class went comparatively much better, probably because I didn't exert myself as much, but my butt and thighs have been aching for the past two days.  :wahaha:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 24, 2016, 11:51:41 PM
I wish I was brave enough to take zumba classes! I always bike by this one place that has it and everyone just looks like they're having such a great time. Good job for going out there and doing something you enjoy, even if you are less coordinated than the others.  :wahaha:


I'm exhausted as hell today. My health has been pretty weak since I caught that stomach virus in August, and I haven't fully recovered. I feel pretty drained after work, and biking uphill has been a battle every morning. Maybe I should take zumba classes too?

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on September 25, 2016, 02:14:24 AM
Zumba classes are a lot of fun! The gym at my college was lucky enough to have them and I took a couple. I'm pretty active so I don't find them very challenging but they're so fun for relaxing and just enjoying thinking about nothing for a while. They were great mood boosters for me!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on September 27, 2016, 08:59:54 AM
Hmm, zumba. I always wanted to take hip hop, but knowing that I was uncoordinated and would definitely have trouble keeping up with the class prevented me from going for it. Most recently I thought about doing capoeira (I was going to sign up for it, actually!), but the fear of being embarrassed is still a huge hurdle for me. Mine, your unflappable attitude impresses me.

@Hats, hope you get better! This damn stomach virus has taken you down for too long. Also, I, too, have been stricken with the impulse to write letters explaining to guys why I am the way I am and it's not their fault that we can't work out together. I guess troubled girls have that in common.

Selfish romantic unloading again--somehow I got myself in an awkward position. >  <.. About a month and a half ago, I started seeing this guy. Recently, I started feeling attached to him. But at the same time, I came to the conclusion that he was only seeing me for purely casual reasons. He never texts me in between our meetups, only checks to see if we can "hang out" at the last minute, and doesn't seem awfully focused on exploring who I am when we spend time together. Just seems to be a certain way, you know? So I decided that the next time we met, I'd let him know that we should probably stop seeing each other.

At the same time, one or two guys feel me out for dating and I say OK because feeling lonely for related reasons. This weekend, I meet my guy friend, and he tells me he hasn't been on Tinder because he's over the whole hookup thing. He asks me if I'd still be willing to spend time with him if we weren't doing sexual things. Ahhh.. I'm taken aback, and because I'm clumsy, still have to figure things out when we meet next time by continuing the conversation. I've already committed to going out with Boy 2 and Boy 3, and in a few phone calls and one outing, Boy 2 somehow has gotten pretty intent on me, which I have a hard time understanding. I feel like I've gotten myself in this situation that isn't fair to anyone, and writing this out makes me feel like I've been stupidly irresponsible for not clearing things up first with Boy 1 before agreeing to anything with Boy 2 and 3. I can always make things clear with Boy 2 and 3 now that I realize things are different than I thought with Boy 1, but I feel like such a jerk.

Sorry, end of off-my-chest. I just feel so confused. Bad Kusa. ^^;;
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on September 30, 2016, 07:54:57 PM
Quote
I'm exhausted as hell today. My health has been pretty weak since I caught that stomach virus in August, and I haven't fully recovered. I feel pretty drained after work, and biking uphill has been a battle every morning. Maybe I should take zumba classes too?

You definitely should give it a try if you get the occasion. I'm usually exhausted when I get off work and always feel a little down around 8pm so I have to force myself to go. I've never regretted it though. It's really energizing and not really hard. It forces me to stop thinking about everything that worries me and stresses me out, so it's a great way to end the day!

I've managed to take a few days off around All Saints Day so I'm going to Amsterdam! November is the month I hate the most so it's great to have something to look forward to. It's always cold and rainy around this time of year, the days start getting really short but Christmas is still a long time away. I'm going to enjoy my trip! I've wanted to go to Amsterdam for a long time.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 02, 2016, 03:13:32 AM
Caro, you already know this, but my last remaining tabby died Thursday night after being attacked by a dog. She was chewed up pretty badly, and it was just a horrible sight to see coming home from a long day of work. I honestly felt so ill that day and wanted to stay home. Why didn't I stay home? That's what I keep thinking over and over again, like a mantra.

Anyway, we took her to the pet crematory, so that part's taken care of. Even though I was feeling really sad about that, I wanted to put together the electric bike I bought online, only to realize that the wheels are WAY too big, my feet would not touch the ground, and there was no way of returning it to get a refund. (Short girls, do not - I repeat, DO NOT - buy a SONDORS bike!) So I wasted $693 and now I'm stuck with a 50 lb bike I can't ride.  :eatthis:

Now I'm just sad and frustrated and FLAT BROKE. I'm going to clean my room tonight to get my mind off things. Tomorrow I'll start translating full-swing again.

@Kusa: Your romantic escapades would make a great novel, but I'm sure it sucks to be in such a triangle (quadrangle?) IRL. My honest opinion is that less is best. I'm not saying you have to commit to one guy, but then again, yes, I am saying exactly that! One guy at a time will give you less headache. If you decide things won't work out, make a clean break for it. You won't run the risk of having THREE of them come after you or the next guy you're seeing.

But I'm not Ask Abby or some clairvoyant guru. I really don't know what would be the right thing to do in your situation. Guess that's something you'll have to figure out for yourself.  :poutpout: But I'm here to listen/read at least. If that can bring you some form of relief and comfort, then I'll keep a listening ear.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on October 02, 2016, 06:56:30 AM
Sorry to hear about Tabby Hats.

I agree about big-bikes-not-for-short-girls (I went Whoosh Boom on the ground because of that once) and also buying stuff online!! >.>  I have bad experiences too so the last time we wanted to get a LED TV we bought it directly at the store. They didn't have a delivery service for buying at the store(and didn't tell us at first of course) so my father and I carried it 2 KM(a little more than 1 mile) to our house. Each of us holding one side of the box like carrying a big and heavy placard in the middle of the city. People's reaction was one of a kind but my mind was focused only on one thing: "Am I regretting not buying this online?"

@Kusa: LOL girl. Handling just Boy #1 is a headache itself. Boy #2 and #3 sound like extra headache #2 and #3 to me. Your situation reminds me of my close friend (who's one day younger than me). She is a sweet person with a fluffy heart and she also had numbers around her but always busy with planning stuff ahead. I didn't meddle in her personal life. It was amusing to hear what she's planning but  she decided to go one at a time in the end and relieved both of us. I was always worrying that she might end up with a broken heart and hurt herself one day.

@Minelauva: Novembers sure are dark and wet and it's the start of another cold season but I like Novembers. I have some funny memories being caught up in the rain so I'm always anticipating this time of the year. It's cool and rainy but still not that freezing cold. Or I might be biased because it doesn't rain much during the whole year where I live so when it rains in November it's refreshing to me. Anyway... Wish you have a nice time.


Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 06, 2016, 01:20:28 AM
Hm, yeah.. Thanks for your advice guys! I want to sort it out with Boy #1, and if he's on the same page as me, I don't need to date Boy #2 or #3. But if he's not, well... I might as well explore my fit with other people. @Lilanar, you're right though, it feels wrong to date several people at once! So I'll probably just end up dating one at a time.

Ya guys know??? The next batch of students arrived at my school, and there's this ridiculously attractive guy in the lot. Even though he looks very young, he's over 30 though! Just thought I'd share. ;c

I recently got a job offer at a nice company. I'm excited, and happy to have roughly a month before I start, but I am also nervous because it's a very competitive company to get into and I don't know if I can perform up to par there. Several of my peers whom I hold in great esteem got rejected while I got accepted, which makes me even more woozy about the deal.

@Hats, I'm so sorry about your cat. I'm sure that it lived a full life of happy moments with you before his/her end. Also, what a letdown about your bike! Coco&I also ordered two gifts online for our mom, and they got shipping delays, so they might not arrive in time..

Hmm... it's October..! Time passes.
 :bymaself:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 24, 2016, 07:35:55 AM
I sank about 2 weeks of my life into this hackathon. It was really humbling and demanding to realize how little you can do compared to what you think you should be capable of at this point. That said, my team won 2nd place, so I'm happy and a little discombobulated!

I met up with Boy #1 and after talking, we agreed to be friends. I was happy with how our conversation went, but I wish he wanted to be a little more involved in my life outside of our sparing meetups. I do like him a lot, both as a friend and in a romantic context.

Anyway, this has left me going on a casual date or two, but nothing much. Boy 2 and 3 dropped the ball! I asked a cute girl out. I've been getting oddly buddy-buddy with the newest batch of students without meaning to. The super-handsome guy from new batch is 33, has a Korean girl friend he wants to marry, and I get stiff and reserved around him.

Life keeps moving at a quick pace!

/enddiarynote lol orz
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on October 29, 2016, 02:36:13 AM
Kusa, what's this hackathon about? *feeling dumb*

My life is definitely not quick-paced like yours. I have done absolutely nothing regarding scanlations either except a few half-abandoned translations. Instead I cry my eyes out over musicals, and book tickets to musicals, and make plans to go to New York next spring to see a musical all from the comfort of my room.

I patched things up with my Blond Guy With Sad Eyes. But I don't have the heart to tell him yet about my intimacy issues. We just got over one hurdle, and now this other thing is springing up on us. I'm not afraid of touching him or being touched, but I am afraid of having sex. TMI? Probably.

I mean, I completely believe in the institution of marriage, and he understands that despite all appearances my family is very old-school and traditional, and we have to "save ourselves" for marriage, but right now that's just an excuse. I just can't go further because I am extremely afraid. It will be an issue down the road as it was with my first ex. So, Kusa, I envy you your freedom. I'm really afraid that I'm going to ruin this relationship by withholding this information, but I'm also afraid of losing him if we get to that point and I start getting all weird. Gah. Weird topic, so I will just shove that aside for now.

The suckiest thing I'll be doing tomorrow is going to see Ae Dil Hai Mushkil in the cinema alone. No one will go and see it with me, and my boyfriend is working that afternoon. I feel like it'll be the greatest suckiest thing I'll ever do though. I'm going to freaking enjoy that movie and "me" time, even though other people will probably be like, "This girl has no friends."  :umm:

Then I'll console myself at home in the evening by doing quality control and these manga chapters I have sitting, so readers won't think we're dead. Yes, not being dead to our readers WILL serve as some measure of consolation, lol. I'll be more active come Nov-Dec when I have vacation. Plus I don't have any more pets to suddenly die on me and make me all depressed.   :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 30, 2016, 08:01:50 AM
The hackathon was centered around this software product for storage. My team and I modified the source code so it would do some things behind the scene to support data uploads and retrievals of a certain size that wasn't supported before! Ah, well... we found it interesting, but it's probably a boring subject for most people :P. No worries.

Hats, your life is the poetic type. The type that's honest and centered around appreciation of the literary arts! At least that's how it comes across to me. I'm sure that sounds like major hogwash to you. lawl

I'm glad to hear you made it up with your Blond Guy With Sad Eyes. I think people are generally readier to hear about your vulnerabilities than you think. If anything, it can make people feel excited when you're willing to share that about yourself, because it makes them feel closer to you. And if they really like you, that person will be ready to work with you on whatever issue you have. (But if not, maybe it's a sign that you two shouldn't be together anyway.)

But actually, I get how you feel. I recall writing embattled offmychest posts on Reddit because I was afraid that sharing certain pieces of information about myself would change the way my fwb looked at me, and cause me to lose him. But not talking about it would be like trying to hide a puddle with paper. Hard, right? Anyway, we eventually got around to talking about some of my weird issues, but it took a long time
(and I suffered a lot in between  (http://i.imgur.com/bgK6jhI.gif)).

As for intimacy issues! I have them, too. Back in the day I was super afraid of sex, because I had never done it before, and I wasn't sure if I could (...go through with it? be natural?). Well, then I went for it anyway, and it turned out fine. It helped that I confessed to my first partner I didn't know what I was doing, and he was OK with it, so any weirdness on my part was excused. I don't know if your situation is the same, but sometimes being honest helps take off the pressure.

Nowadays my intimacy issues center around showing affection, though I'm getting better at it. I have to push myself to reciprocate kisses on the cheek and hugging, etc, even if I feel super attached to that person.

Anyway, sorry if that was TMI & too much unsolicited advice. My heart just went out to someone who reminded me of my past struggles.  (http://i.imgur.com/oeQQvWd.gif) It can be a weird topic.

On another topic--Hats, I admire your drive to work on scans in between your sprees of literary appreciation. I've been in a slump lately; totally meant to prepare for my new position, but sat around all week slowly turning into liquid mush instead. My start date is right around the corner, so hopefully I'll resume human form then.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Lilanar on October 30, 2016, 11:58:17 AM
lol you guys. Is it very inconsiderate of me to amuse myself with your posts? I like people and also observing... Everyone is struggling with life issues but sometimes people start to shine. It could be from a never ending cycle of hardships and success. Or sometimes just letting go of everything and finding their real selves in life. OK enough philosophy.

I found something in Hats' post that I could relate too. The old-school family!! LOL Or in my case I should say the old-school-culture nation. In our country there are some ultra traditional families that don't accept even shaking hands between the girl and the boy!!  :umm:

Well I'm from a mellow traditional family so not that hardcore... but still no lalala before marriage. It's not even a rule or forcing tradition anymore. It's more like a belief that you save yourself for the right one. That goes for both gender btw. But that was more suitable for old ages when people would go into marriage at young age. Now with the economical issues and also decreasing tolerance between wife and husband and the growing distrust this tradition is starting to fail little by little as expected. But the good side is that because the tradition is still kept by like 85% of people, no couple goes into a problem about intimacy issues before marriage. It's just like an unsaid promise between two of them. Actually it's sometimes like a test between the two to see if they're really willing to get into marriage. I don't know how long this tradition is gonna last though... Just saying the cultural differences can't be taken lightly.

And OMG Hats, Bollywood?! Really, leave California and give a visit to our country maybe. You can find all the movies on the street for $1. It's heaven for Bollywood movies. I'm not a fan usually but when they suddenly jump in and start a group dance I want to jump in too. 

But lately I've been obsessed with Ballroom Dance... T_T And my favorite couple right now are: Jonathan Wilkins & Katusha Demidova
This is their Viennese Walts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUSt9X5fFLM)
And this, their Slow Foxtrot (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKt8MkW4WyE)
Don't miss the Tango (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwl3xBjCaV8)

They're so graceful... I want to try it too... T^T but I have only one option and that's our own traditional dance which I also like. Persian dance has a mystical and philosophical feel to it. And sometimes the passion is actually towards the God without being religious. More in a Sufi way. Even the English translated poem is about a mystical love. The wine is about getting drunken in that kind of love not alcohol. Take a look...Here's a solo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3zT8BX0qOA) and here a group dance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCFdLPdyrIw)

And then Azeri People with Turkic origins that have this kind of dance. More rhythmic and more Tempo. And .... Exciting! ^.^
Typical Azeri (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWtvozYK7A4) and a good selection (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqCotOVRQ14)
Do you think Azeri dance is about showing off strength?!

Don't get surprised with this post. It's my latest obsession... I'm going to stick to it till I get sick of it or get struck by another obsession. The one before this was water color painting and an illustrator named Ibuki Satsuki. I think I DLed all of her artwork that could be found on internet. I dedicated a sweet whole week to that. >.> That's what happens when Hats doesn't give me more editing job to do... I go astray...
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on November 03, 2016, 02:37:16 PM
Hats, I don't think you're wrong actually. In my opinion, it's better to take things one step at a time and not dump all your issues on the other person at once. However, I'm probably the last person who should give advice in such matters so I'm just going to stop there. But speaking of doing things alone, I do that all the time! At some point, it stopped being weird and depressing and just became normal. I've always been a loner and I have almost literally no friends so I have no shame. I've just decided not to let that stop me from enjoying myself. I go to the cinema and to the museum on my own, I go shopping on my own, I travel on my own... Doing things alone has become my new default setting, which works out well since I have very specific tastes and am very bad at compromising. This week, in Amsterdam, I took it a step further by going to a proper restaurant on my own for the first time. I felt a bit awkward waiting for my meal but I still enjoyed it greatly. I'm not sure reading this will make you feel better though.  :headbite:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on November 22, 2016, 07:33:54 AM
@Mine, speaking of doing things alone, lately I've taken to eating dinner by myself at my company cafeteria after working out! I view it as a character building exercise, to try to be less self-conscious and to appreciate things on my own. It's awkward but I do enjoy it.

In general. Work is stressful!
I try to leave room open for dates, but lately I haven't been able to motivate myself much. If I chat with a guy on Tinder, I often think it isn't headed anywhere special. I am talking to a cutie though.
There's also a cutie at work!
(I'm basic)

Over the weekend I got especially sluggish and depressed. I spent half my time napping and half my time dragging myself thru really small errands. I'm back up and running though.

Happy Monday! Happy Almost Thanksgiving! I think what they're doing to the protestors over in North Dakota is terrible, and really speaks to the nature of this country and our whole f**ked up colonialist history.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on November 28, 2016, 12:23:56 AM
Haha, Happy Post Thanksgiving And Recovering From Food Coma! Is it only Americans who have a Thanksgiving holiday?

I spent a day grocery shopping with the sis, the next day shucking oysters, and then the next day preparing for guests. I thought I'd find some free time to come online, but damn, it didn't turn out the way I had hoped.

Glad to see you all back. Kusa, glad you've pulled yourself out of a rut as well. The thing happening to the protesters in North Dakota felt surreal. It was like watching something that was happening in another country. Maybe it's the naive American in me speaking, but I never thought it would happen to us. But then I realize I've been living in a bubble and sort of shutting my eyes to all the terrible stuff happening around me. I guess, I've already had such a miserable, poverty-stricken life growing up as a child that when we started living more well off now, I forget the suffering and injustice everywhere else. Total bubble.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on December 03, 2016, 07:19:28 AM
@Hats, I know what you're talking about. I had a horrible dream a while back that involved some trauma I'd never gone through, but it felt very real. When I woke up, I realized that sort of trauma DOES define a LOT of people's lives, and I was like, damn.. I'm not doing s*** to help lessen the sum total of suffering in this world.

I think most of us recognize that the stuff happening in N. Dakota isn't okay, but we're all used to being complacent. I've been meaning to do some phone calls to representatives, but I haven't done it.

I also hope that when work settles down, I can do some volunteering, maybe teach students and inmates how to code! Capitalism really encourages you to turn on your blinders and take only the time to take care of yourself, though, 'cause there's really not much time outside of that.

Oysters... sounds delicious...
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on December 03, 2016, 07:21:29 AM
Oh, also! Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving too! But it happens on a different month, I think. I found this out from my red-haired Latvian friend who's back from Canada and whom I'm now only seeing as a friend. Apparently it's not very Native-American-related, and it's more of just a traditional celebration of harvest.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 07, 2016, 09:52:42 PM
A few days ago, my father struck again. He told me that I should hurry up, get married and have children, that he couldn't wait to have grandchildren. He said it as if it was a joke but I know he was completely serious. This kind of behavior makes me so angry! I hate it when people talk about my body as if it was a commodity, as if they had any right over my life and the choices I make. I know he means well. He probably doesn't even realize how furious I am but it makes things even worse. He says this kind of things because he's a man. Even my mother, who probably wants me to have children even more than him, would never say that to me! But he naturally assumes that as my father, he has ownership over me, in a way, and when he says that, I can only nod and swallow my anger. Things are only going to get worse in the coming years, since I have no intention of getting married anytime soon, if ever. This is so unfair! :shaded:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 09, 2016, 05:39:15 AM
Ooph! - That would drive me absolutely mad! As if life isn't hard enough already. Your dad seems pretty old school tradition when it comes to marriage, very much like how Mimi Mama is. But I hope (as I do with her) that if he's not joking, then, at the very least, he really meant no harm and wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I'm a little envious though. Sorry, I can't help it! But my dad has never spoken to me about marriage or having children. The idea of me with a man is absolutely foreign to him. THAT drives me mad.

I think only younger people have said things like this to me. More scientific than cultural. Though their "science" could be debated.

My best friend's younger sister recently asked me if I planned on having children after I marry [my guy].

Me: Not at the moment, but I'm not opposed to it. But we're really not thinking about marriage right now. He's just throwing out hypotheticals.
BFYS (horrified): Yeah, but you'd better hurry! You're not getting any younger. Don't know you how risky it is for women over 35 to have children?
Me: No... And I don't know how much of that is true because-...

And that's when she went into a long spiel to drive home the point of how I'm getting old and crusty and my ovaries are going to shrivel on me. Well, she was much nicer at it than how I'm stating it now, but you get the point.

My brother's friend - the one I ran around with like an idiot behind my brother's back - asked me, "Aren't you afraid of turning thirty?" He was 24 and I was 27.

Me: No? Why should I be scared? Besides, you'll be 30 someday too...a LONG ways away.
Him (lapsing into silence): Hmm.

OK, so maybe I was only making it sound worse. Now that I think of it. But his lack of a joking response, a quip, like usual, stung like hell. Probably more than the ovaries shriveling lecture from the 20-year-old girl. Because I really liked him, and he was basically admitting to fear of me going senile on him.

Bah! This stuff about marriage and children is making me depressed. I can see why you're so frustrated and upset over it, Mine. But my sister married when she was 18 and she is always telling me she envies me my freedom. Bask in that singledom! It's your own kingdom of happiness! And I hope you don't have to broach this topic with dad until the wounds have healed.  :2ndlump:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 17, 2016, 01:58:45 AM
So they are selling the house I'm living in. The landlady assured us she would not be selling, and now she sent us a letter saying they are and that she can't say for sure if the new owners will let us stay. I knew something was up when they brought people to see the house months ago, but it's still pretty upsetting to be told a flat-out lie. At least have the decency to let us know then so we could have more time to find a new place.

My sister and her family are thinking about buying a 2-bedroom single family home for themselves. I am going to be moving out on my own. I'm already making plans and looking around for a studio. I don't have my pets to tie me down anymore, so it's possible for me to move around easily. My boyfriend suggested I move into his place, but my gut-feeling says that it's a terrible idea at this point in the relationship.

Everything is so expensive here in Southern California. I'm seriously considering moving out of the city, but I've been through a long-distance relationship before and that didn't turn out well. So I don't have my cats to tie me down, but now my boyfriend has replaced my cats. I guess I'm stuck here for now.  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on December 17, 2016, 10:59:58 AM
It must be so stressful! I hope it won't be too difficult to find something.  I've never lived in a big city before. But then, even big cities in France are small compared to American ones. Wouldn't moving out of the city make it harder to go to work though?

I've been rather stressed out lately. I found out recently that I might not get my master's degree after all. I managed to get an extension on the deadline. I've got six more months to validate all the credits required to graduate. But since I'm working full-time, I don't think I will make it. I don't want to give up without fighting though. Getting a master's degree is the goal that helped me fight depression and complete my bachelor's degree several years ago. Having to give up on that dream, at least temporarily, is rather hard. Disappointing my parents is even harder. My father never stopped believing in me, which is me I can't stay angry at him for long, even when he annoys me by talking about marriage and children.
I can't say it's a surprise though. I've got really low self-esteem so when the company I interned at offered me a job, I took it. It might not be really prestigious and the pay is rather low but it's going well. At least even if I don't graduate I won't lose everything.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on January 23, 2017, 02:14:33 AM
Thanks, Caro. I was stressed out initially, but since then, only good things have been happening. I finally got to see the inside of my boyfriend's apartment. I finally got to cook him a meal in his kitchen. It was a really weird feeling. I've always had a bit of a Princess Syndrome. I know it. I'm aware of it. After my last two breakups, I decided I needed to change. That I needed to learn how to do things for other people and not only think about myself and my own wants. My sister was cooking dinner for us one night, and she seemed so freaking happy, that it made me scrunch my eyebrows at her.

Mimi: Did you when the lottery or something?
Stiletto: No.
Stiletto's Husband: If we won the lottery, I wouldn't be sitting here eating oyster pancakes. I'd be eating raw oysters off the deck of a yacht.
Mimi: Then why is she smiling like that? It's making me uncomfortable.
Stiletto: I'm just happy that you all like my food. I'm happy when you're all happy.
Mimi imagines halos surrounding her sister's head.

I guess, I've never felt that feeling before. I always enjoy when other people cook for me. All of the guys I've dated know how to cook. And even when I wasn't dating, my parents, brothers and older sister cook for me. So it was a strange feeling, standing in someone's kitchen, someone I think I'm falling in love with, and looking up recipes in my kindle, and actually anticipating what he would look like eating my food.

Anyway, I got home today. We had rainstorms since last Friday, and I guess the one on Friday came in and blew down the "For Sale" sign on our yard. Seeing that somehow made me feel better, haha. I didn't even bother to pick it up and put it back. Small retribution.  :cool:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 23, 2017, 08:05:08 AM
Gosh, Hats, that's frickin' sweet. Props to you for making new forays in your life - including the move to a new apartment on your own (or to your boyfriend's--hey, you've seen the inside, next step is to move in, heh? heh heh don't mind me).

It must be strange after living with your sister for so long, but change means a new opportunity to grow and learn more about yourself. Plus after living with your sister for so long, if it ever gets hard, I'm sure you can go back for a day or two, they're so used to having you around. Lol?

Come to think of it, I've always lived with coco, and I've rarely contemplated moving out on my own. We could each afford it, but we unmarried singletons have always operated so much as a household (with our mom tagging along, haha ^^;;). If I moved out, I would definitely have a hard time without my sis around.. she's like my sole confidante who I can be 100% myself around. But the question does lurk in the background when we think about ending up in a serious relationship with someone.

Which, by the way, I'm starting to assume is not going to happen with resigned fatalism. I've given up on dating temporarily. It's not gratifying to go on dates and see it headed to nowhere meaningful. I think I may have a hard time feeling a meaningful connection to someone without a physical encounter, and most of the guys I have physical encounters with aren't looking for a relationship with me.

It's interesting though; out of 10 or so guys that I've either dated or slept with or both, there's only been 2 guys so far that I've really felt interested in. It was a relief to the find the 2nd guy, since I've been stuck on that old ex-fwb for so long. Still am (stuck on him), but at least I know there are other people I want to be with now! Even if they don't want to be with me. Wowww lol T_T

Happy New Years everyone! My goal is to do more healthy lifestyle things, but it's hard to drum up the motivation when work drains so much out of me.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on February 01, 2017, 02:24:08 AM
It will sound pretty silly, but the only reason why I even thought of cooking for him in the first place was all thanks to a Taiwanese drama I was watching. A dream sequence to boot! I was secretly watching this drama by myself and totally stealing ideas for making myself seem more adorable...

Just kidding, just kidding.

But, yes, the cooking idea did come because of a Taiwanese drama.  :cool:

I think there came a point where I was breaking out in a cold sweat, remembering stuff my exes said to me. One guy, in particular, whom I dated when I was 15 told me I was an "effing robot." For some reason, I couldn't get those words out of my head. I guess it hurt me really badly. But the guy was asking for sex, and I was not going to lose my virginity to someone who made me feel like crap. (And then ended up cheating on me with my own friend.)

But he's right. I can come off as pretty cold because I tend to internalize everything I feel, so it's hard to find the right balance.

I want to make things work with this current person I'm seeing. I don't mean completely changing who I am. I just mean voicing my thoughts out loud when necessary. It is a bit scary because I think this guy is the right guy for me, but I was seriously not expecting a relationship to come in the form of a blind date with a guy my friends wanted to hook me up with... I guess I was a hopeless romantic and thought I'd find my relationship on my own, bumping into some random stranger and feeling the sparks fly. But it feels right, at least. I don't hate myself in this relationship, like I did in others. This is a totally different feeling. *breaks down*

I won't be moving in with him though. I was only over at his place for a while to cleanup because his grandmother had passed away, and the family needed help with the funeral services. It was proving difficult for him to keep having to drive me back and forth. Guy slept on the couch, while I got the bedroom, so the relationship is still pretty Kdrama PG.

I'm glad you've decided on a New Year's Resolution, Kusa. Being healthy is good! Having too many guys around, not so good! Too many headaches, methinks. You're the kind of person that seems to go from 5 to 1, rather than 1 to 5. Here's to hoping you find a guy who is a 1 to 5, and that it turns out for the best. But if not, here's to hoping that you continuing being yourself because you're freaking amazing, single or not.

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on March 11, 2017, 05:00:06 AM
I dated a boy briefly (to be accurate still dating) with nice colorful tattoo sleeves with Asian mythological imagery (the lion-dogs, dragon, geisha, etc). I mean, he's Chinese of course. He seemed interesting at first but after I got to know him I think he has some weird quirks and we have too much difference in sentiment/mindset for me to feel attracted to him. It's too bad, since there are some good things about him: I like watching anime with him, he initiates physical contact, and he's nice and wants to date me for some reason. But in the end, I guess I liked the tattoos the most...

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say I'm in Paris for work if anyone in the area wants to meet up. :)

I'm super tired because it's 6 am so I should probably nap a bit before I try to go to a Turkish bath or whatever. Maybe I can even do some work today.. it would be great :)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on March 13, 2017, 09:17:40 AM
Thank you for your well wishes Hats :) At this point I just want to be happy as a singleton. I feel that if I'm not as much of an emotional mess, any potential relationships will be steadier and less fraught with difficulty. Plus, if I'm happy... I don't really need a relationship!

This ideal state can feel so far away at times, though.. Lol T_T

It's really great that you've been experiencing a sense of wellbeing in your relationship that you haven't had in your previous ones. I'm happy for you, Hats! I agree with you that relationships are scary... All the best luck, and I hope you are able to grow from the experience.

I'm sorry that all I ever talk about on here is love and relationships. I have a kind of one-track mind. Re: my own drama, getting over someone is really hard. But I feel like things are gradually getting better. It would be really nice if I could be the relatively emotionally stable person I mentioned above, and also have my ex-fwb as a friend (so I don't have to feel sad about not having him) but ALSO actually be happy to just have him as a friend. Might be a bit of a tall order.

I've made a friend online who I talk to to get me through some of the tougher moments, but I'm a little worried that we're almost getting into a co-dependent pattern. I have to be a grown up and manage this friendship wisely.

I'm also really hungry and really craving stroopwaffles. Coco, if you're passing thru these cute European bakeries and you see some stroopwaffles, for heaven's sake, bring them back to me.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on March 17, 2017, 02:12:47 PM
Wow it feels like it's been so long...
Kusa, I have things to say but it will have to wait. My mind has not been in the right place. :scratch:

My friends are getting a divorce right now. I feel like crap for them. He was such a nice guy, so I never thought he would cheat on her. Even if he did I didn't think he would leave her. Anyway I've been out since last week and back home by Sunday evening.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on March 18, 2017, 07:01:28 AM
*waits patiently*

Haha no pressure.

Quote
My friends are getting a divorce right now. I feel like crap for them. He was such a nice guy, so I never thought he would cheat on her. Even if he did I didn't think he would leave her.
This is exactly the type of story that makes me feel like romances are too much emotion for too much heartbreak! I read this sort of stuff all the time on r/offmychest and feed my fear of relationships... I feel tactless for writing this given your recentish relationship status though, Hats.

Curious to hear what your trip was about!
I just have school and work in my corner. Though I've made a guy friend whom I've been having seedy spa dates with during work hours. He's actually a wholesome guy as far as fwbs go. Is it me or am I a bit much casually trashy? orz
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 13, 2017, 04:02:31 AM
Kusa, I specifically avoid reddit forums when I'm in a relationship. Like you said, it feeds fear. Personally, I avoid relationship advice forums and articles, even when I have relationship issues, because I prefer to discuss it with said person and said person only. Don't need a million mouths telling me how I'm right, and that I should dump the guy.

That said, my friend's divorce shook me up just a bit. The fact that a decade-long, supposedly happy marriage could end just like that. He didn't even take his stuff. He left them at their house for her to dispose of. She spent a week having to sort and clean out his stuff on her own. She's back in town now, and I felt really sad when some of our mutual friends were like, "She's just here to get people on her side." I understand that he was also a friend, and we've always known him to be a good guy, but she wasn't a terrible wife either. He just "fell out of love" with her and found someone better.

During this stressful time, my boyfriend gifted me with a ring. I felt really terrible for asking him, in a somewhat emphatic tone, whether it meant something more than just a gift. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but he seemed slightly disappointed over that question. He assured me that it was just a gift. He thought it looked nice, and that I would look nice wearing it. The matter was put to rest. I wore it on the middle finger of my right hand, and it did look nice. But I noticed my single friends watching my ringed finger like a hawk. When I told my boyfriend that I didn't like it when people assumed we were engaged, he told me in a pretty serious and heavy tone that he is not against the idea. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to disappoint him again. The ring feels so freaking heavy now. I don't know if it's psychosomatic. I just FEEL that it's there. It's not a big rock or anything, but I realize now that it is a band with 12 diamonds. I went online to check out the price, and realized that he had spent over $400 on me. I have NEVER been gifted anything more than $100. Heck, I have NEVER been gifted anything by a guy that wasn't food.

Anyway, I disappeared off the internet because all this was going on, and I was experiencing a pregnancy scare as well. I'm not proud of it, but starting in April, I had been getting what is typically thought of to be "morning sickness." I was like this for two weeks before going in for a checkup. Turns out it was either my terrible diet or just plain old anxiety (I got promoted at my workplace, and the stress of training other people got to me.).

My highlights for the week are the addition of new staff to the team. I intend to be more active this month as well.

Hope everyone (read: WHOMEVER IS READING) is doing well.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on April 16, 2017, 06:29:48 AM
I'm doing well!! I think. I typically and chronically experienced spells of poor mood but for the past month or two I've been noticeably more stable and happy. No real reason, maybe just staying busy and eating vitamin d pills.

I think you and I both share some things in common about how we experience (anxiety about) relationships. I hope your guy is understanding and that he slowly gets the idea that this skittishness is something you naturally experience, if he doesn't get that yet. That way you two can take it slow and easy even if he is seriously interested in being with you. Though it can be hard to feel like your partner is more uncertain than you are. Oh my, am I giving you that relationship advice you purposefully avoid? lol

that two week morning sickness is so scary. :P I'm very glad I have a bc implant which safeguards me from those scenarios. Even when I was on the pill, 5-10% uncertainty was enough to make me paranoid.

This is really silly, but I recall one time you described your boyfriend as having 'sad blue eyes', and because of that I always think of your boyfriend when I hear this song: 'Ocean Eyes' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9U0qMHHkSo

I'm still up to my sleazy exploits, though less of it because school and work have been getting real. The sleaziest was hooking up with a guy only to realize in morning that his girl friend is calling him and asking him where the hell he is. Post that he 'ended things with her' and asked to date me (scare quotes because you can't trust a guy who hooks up with random girls while having a girl waiting for you back home). I can't date him, but I like him a bit and am trying to be friends. I know, coco thinks it's dubious too.

I think we probably won't even be friends. I am going to try to focus on school things now (I am temporarily or permanently leaving my cushy tech job to go back to school! and I am thinking of also going to community college part time to keep an art hobby). /end diary entry
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 17, 2017, 01:45:01 PM
@Hats: I will also try to be more active. I have to admit I've been struggling to find the motivation to edit this past few months. I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Nothing bad, but I need to find some energy again. There have been some changes at work and as a result, my workload has increased and I've been feeling more isolated than before. My boss still seems satisfied but my results aren't as good as I hoped they would be. My standards are probably too high... All this stress has taken its toll on my personal life. Exercising really helps. I've started aquabiking back in January. It's tough but I like it. It helps me keep my mood balanced.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on April 19, 2017, 05:03:53 AM
Wow, I'd never heard of aquacycling before. What a concept. Part of me feels like if you're in the water, you might as well swim. lol But this way you don't have to get water in your face and nose and everything.

(https://www.spreadshirt.com/image-server/v1/designs/1007963045,width=178,height=178/emoji-smiley-thinking-face.png)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on April 28, 2017, 04:13:34 AM
Hi puppies. I've been in a downmood too. I wonder what it is. Mine, I think a lot of women are hard on themselves with their expectations. We take it on ourselves to excel high internal standards.. And we blame ourselves if we don't meet them. I think it's all the responsibility the world puts on our shoulders. Haha. I dunno.

I went to Paris, and that was fun and exciting, as well as a heavy dose of anxiety and cramming for work. But since then, I've been struggling with being behind on schoolwork, not liking my co-workers so much, and feeling guilt about the time I spend with my mom and whether I have agency in my life about how I spend my time. I don't think I should bother elaborating, it won't necessarily serve any purpose.

Hmm.. that was not a very upbeat post. I'm sorry. Orz
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on April 28, 2017, 07:08:20 PM
Quote from: Minelauva
@Hats: I will also try to be more active. I have to admit I've been struggling to find the motivation to edit this past few months. I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Nothing bad, but I need to find some energy again.
Hey, we’re on the same “lack of motivation” boat here. Mine just happened to dock a bit sooner than yours. :) I think the new staff being so eager to help fired me up a bit, as well as older staff continually prodding me with, “Hey! Are you alive?!” reminders, heh. Thanks, everyone!

Even if the motivation doesn’t come back for a while, that’s OK. No stress. Just work at your own pace!

Quote
There have been some changes at work and as a result, my workload has increased and I've been feeling more isolated than before. My boss still seems satisfied but my results aren't as good as I hoped they would be. My standards are probably too high... All this stress has taken its toll on my personal life. Exercising really helps. I've started aquabiking back in January. It's tough but I like it. It helps me keep my mood balanced.

Yes, girl, you’ve set the bar so high for yourself and needlessly stressing yourself out. If the boss is happy, that means you must be doing something right.

Yes, exercising helps! I went out biking last weekend, and I’m doing it again this weekend. My goal is 7 miles. I used to do 14 mi trips when I biked to work, so this should be easy. My nephew has been coming with me because he wants to lose weight, so I’m more careful with my surroundings. We don’t have bike lanes in our city, so it’s a little scary to bike with your sister’s only teenage son. 
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on April 30, 2017, 06:22:47 PM
Quote
Wow, I'd never heard of aquacycling before. What a concept. Part of me feels like if you're in the water, you might as well swim. lol But this way you don't have to get water in your face and nose and everything.

I thought it was weird at first too. :D The only reason I even tried was because it was a gift from my parents for my birthday. Swimming is not an option for me though. I'm not a very good swimmer so I could never get enough exercise just by going swimming every week. Besides, I don't really see the point of swimming in a swimming pool, or even in the sea. I like scuba diving and snorkelling but to me, swimming is not an end in itself.

Quote
Yes, exercising helps! I went out biking last weekend, and I’m doing it again this weekend. My goal is 7 miles. I used to do 14 mi trips when I biked to work, so this should be easy. My nephew has been coming with me because he wants to lose weight, so I’m more careful with my surroundings. We don’t have bike lanes in our city, so it’s a little scary to bike with your sister’s only teenage son.

We have a similar problem here. Before we moved here about ten years ago, I used to love biking. I didn't have my driver's licence yet so it gave me independence and it was more enjoyable than taking the bus. But now, we live in a mountainous area so I've basically stopped biking. It's too hard. When I arrived here, in my last year of high school, a boy in my class commuted by bike everyday. I didn't realize at the time what an achievement it was. The road leading to his village is even steeper than the one leading to mine.  :huh: The only reasonable option would be to buy an electric bike but it's extremely expensive and it wouldn't solve the other problem. Since there are no bike lanes, cyclists have to use regular roads and exercising in the middle of exhaust fumes trying not to get killed by a car is not an appealing idea...

Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 05, 2017, 06:32:41 PM
Speaking of electric bikes, I still feel a pinch of regret (and a hole burned in my wallet) from buying the Sondors Thin. Last October I forked out another $800 to buy the MATE E-Bike from Indiegogo campaign, and it’s BARELY being boxed and put into a shipping container this month. I think my life is full of these small moments of regret, LOL.

This week I’m on a translating HIGH. I am probably at my best this week than I’ve been for the past year. I’m not sure why translating has become easier for me than it usually would be. I guess I’m pretty happy with myself right now.

So, for once, this would be my “best thing” rather than my “worst thing” today.  :blush:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on May 06, 2017, 08:06:24 PM
I was also quite productive during my break. I haven't worked through all my backlog yet but I'm getting there. :hero:

Speaking of temptation and regrets, I'm trying really hard not to buy a new phone. Mine still works perfectly well but it's a Lumia. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it... There are literally no apps on Windows Phone. I guess two years ago, it wasn't such a big deal but my phone has gradually become an extension of my laptop. It's crazy how easy it is to get used to this kind of things... I'm really tempted to buy an Iphone SE but I will probably regret spending more than 300€ on a phone...  :dang:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 16, 2017, 04:38:47 PM
I only use my phone to call or text people. My nephew's teenager friends had to explain Snapchat to me... When I said, "What's the difference between that and texting?" They both shook their heads, like I was an adorable, senile old lady, whom they needed to help get across the street.  :bymaself:

Honestly, Caro, if you use the apps, then get the phone. As long as you get your money's worth out of it.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on June 03, 2017, 04:05:50 AM
@Hats: I love NHK!

@Caro: I understand how you feel... I've been tempted lately to buy myself one of those wake up light alarms, which gradually increase brightness to peak mid-aft light according to the time you program so you wake up peacefully. Also a brow pencil. And it hurts to walk around in Forever 21 and see all these cute clothes I could wear. Ah, materialism.

I've been out of it too much recently. I want to get things done so I can be an impressive young woman who does things (as opposed to a flat out unimpressive young woman who lies around all day) but I find a lot of my mental energy going into relationships and guys. I wish I could keep my head on straight.

I'm signing up for a figure drawing class in my local college and also maybe a swimming class, or some other PE class! It might be tough to do on top of my software eng studies but I want to pursue my creative interests a little more seriously. and be fit :P
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on June 06, 2017, 07:54:17 PM
I went out with my co-workers last Thursday, somewhat grudgingly to appease the organizer. I had planned on going home and skipping to take care of things around the house. I'm not very used to social drinking outings. It was strange to see my co-workers all get drunk and start acting like fools (drunk). I find it to be a peculiar adult social contract, like "hey, we're all going to get drunk so we can reveal a bit of ourselves to each other instead of being stifled like normal." It was also the first time I got a bit drunk, though I still felt fairly sensible compared to my co-workers, just that both mental and motor skills were slower. I'm surprised I didn't get more drunk considering my alcohol tolerance and the amount I was consuming, but maybe I was pacing myself a bit more than others, and it was a fluke sort of thing because I ate before or something.

In some ways, it was good thing, because I haven't felt very comfortable around my co-workers recently and it's good to bond and feel like you were able to be vulnerable around them. Still, I witnessed / experienced some strange things, like drunk advice, random hugging circles and an older co-worker I wouldn't expect making moves on me doing just that. I guess it's comforting to see people you know drunk. It makes you feel better about not feeling like you have your shit together, because you're witnessing other ppl that normally do (have their stuff together) in the same state.

It's hard for me to pin down in less than vague terms what's making me depressed (and it's been hard to relate it to other ppl, such as my drunk but well-meaning co-worker or my manager in 1:1 settings). Something around lack of agency, lack of motivation, living with my mom, and compromising on lifestyle desires because of values, but also why so sad? It's something I meant to sort out when I have time since it's gotten to be a bit of a thing, but maybe here isn't the right place to write a long meandering post to contemplate it.

I also went to meet with a schoolmate and his manager at work at a more hip tech company because she randomly found my social media profile while trolling social media and found it a worthwhile prospect to meet / network with me as one of the young engineers she regularly reaches out to. It was a bit awkward in that I found I was taking a very measured, gentle tone to match hers and I'm not sure how it came across, and my classmate who knows I'm not always like that was there. :umm: But she was nice and made me think ah, here is a manager that would be good to work for (aka a special breed not available to most, whether at my company or at other places). I'm not sure about switching co.s yet because there are diff. factors to take into account, but it makes you wonder if you should jump ship if you can work for/under the guidance of someone like that.

She also gave a bit of advice, things like what areas are useful to study (network, security, distributed systems) and trying out projects in diff. areas as possible.

There's more that's been going on but it's probably not all worth relating, so I'll wrap it up there. :P

EDIT: Eh, guess I might as well since I have time. When giving drunk advice, my drunk co-worker wanted to give dating advice, so asked me if I've been up to anything. But as I told him, I haven't really felt like engaging in the dating scene much because I mostly find it to be a chore. I know there's a chance I'll meet someone that's more engaging and form a connection with that person, but I don't feel the need to go seek that romantic connection or relationship out. I'm the opposite of Kusa in some ways and it might be because I have her around, too.

But I recently ended up matching with someone that seems moderately interesting on a dating app, who's an inline skater (<--- Kusa and I have both been interested in that sport recently). That's pretty cool, and I guess he's also trying to become a software eng, and unfortunately French (I work at a French co, went to a French-founded software eng school). I was thinking to meet up with him and maybe intro him to my French connections since he's in the area by coincidence for networking purposes. But it doesn't seem liking the timing is super convenient and I'm also more tired/reserved today because somehow I wasn't able to get more than a good hour or two of sleep yesterday (I experience fickle insomnia). To be honest, was a bit trepidatious to try and introduce this person I'm not familiar with to co-workers I'm also not super familiar with. >_< But he does seem to be fairly good-looking. :scratch:

That's all -- for now, anyway. :P
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on June 16, 2017, 06:16:35 PM
coco, damn girl, you are so different from me. I'm as stubborn as an ox when it comes to hanging out with my coworkers, especially after work hours. I think it has something to do with the fact that I enjoy my job to a certain degree, but I spend ALL DAY with these people, and they want me to spend ALL NIGHT with them too? OH HELLS NO. I will step my foot the hell down, and they will have to drag me there kicking and screaming.

Rule #1: Never let them ply me with alcohol.

I am only letting my guard down in front of a select few people: My older sister, my boyfriend, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend-now-friend. You see, my parents are not even on that list. Why would my coworkers be?

Rule #2: Don't hang out with coworkers.

And if Rule #2 fails, then follow Rule #1...

My coworkers suspect I'm dating someone, but I'm not going to introduce him to them. He will not show up at my office, and he is not going to send me flowers at work so that they will know he exists. They will not see it coming and will not know what hit them until I smack down that wedding invite on their desks lol.

I'm glad the experience turned out positive for you though. I think you needed that positive outcome. But my romantic heart was secretly hoping you had hit it off with The One Who Gave Dating Advice. Guess life doesn’t work that way, huh?
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on June 26, 2017, 07:25:45 PM
Surprisingly, I don't mind hanging out with my coworkers. I hardly ever go out for drinks with them, because I don't really drink alcohol, but I have nothing against the idea. We frequently eat lunch together. I like them and we're all basically the same age so being together is easy. We can just be ourselves. At first, I was afraid things would get awkward if I let them get to know me better. I was afraid they wouldn't respect me as much. But I realized I couldn't let my low self-esteem issues get the better of me and forced myself to open up. I don't regret it. My job is not always fun or easy and the pay is quite low, but the atmosphere at work is very good. If it wasn't for my coworkers, I would have quit long ago. Most of the time, we don't talk about anything too personal. We're coworkers, not friends. But occasionally, when the timing was right, I've had deeper conversations with some of them. I don't regret it. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with each other has created a bond and we work better together now. When I started working, my worst fear was that I wouldn't be able to work in a team in the long term and not just for a school project. Considering that when I was a teenager, someone once called me asocial, it turned out well.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on July 06, 2017, 03:56:03 AM
That's quite impressive Mine! I've always felt that if you really enjoy working with the people you work with, you can overlook a lot of not so great things about work and still be willing to stay. Whereas if you don't like the people you work with, good luck staying there long...

Might be why I ended leaving my job - I appreciated everyone on my team in a way, but only really meshed with one of my teammates. Meaning it felt like crap a lot of the time.

Hope everyone had a good 4th.. or will have a good 14th... or whatever other closeby Independence Days that might exist for others!

I've been trying to make good on my promise to be less boy crazy, which is making me painfully aware of how much I've depended on dating apps to give me the periodic high of having some match to hit me up. I've only been resisting swiping on Tinder and similar apps for a few days now (I've been cutting off pointless & frivolous relations with guys a little longer). I didn't fully realize I was unconsciously giving myself a dopamine high from male attention by swiping or meeting up with someone every few days or so. It's so embarrassing, I'd only talk about it here. _(-_-||)_

When my heart goes all crazy from loneliness or pining, I whip out a good book to clear my head of my useless thoughts. Lately I've been reading A Summer Dream of Sheep (or something like that?) by Murakami. Combined with what little I've read of 1Q84, I finally get what people mean when they say that Murakami is like Kafka - even though I've never read Kafka! Very dreamy and surreal narrative.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on July 06, 2017, 05:39:13 PM
Murakami, Kusa? A Wild Sheep Chase, maybe? The one with the girl and her "dead ears"? To this day, my favorite re-read of his has to be that short story, On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning. I was such a huge Murakami fan back in the day. If you’ve ever read the first few paragraphs of Sputnik Sweetheart, you will see my subtle homage to that novel in a post I made on our team blog titled: What I Want, What I Want, What I Really, Really Want.

That “high” you get swiping dating apps, is the same feeling I get when I buy new books I have absolutely NO time to read. You’re not alone in your crazy obsessions.

But enough of that! I should be working! *slinks back to work*
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on July 10, 2017, 03:39:10 AM
Yes, that's the one!! Ah, I'm so bad with details. I did kind of fall for his writing - I've been avoiding Murakami a long time because I saw a bit of the film adaptaion of Norweigan Wood (was it thru a recommendation here? small world) and I knew then that he wrote on such morbid and depressing topics as depression. I can't take overtly emotional content, my soul is too sensitive for it. But he does have a poignant, restrained way of writing. This is literature!

My only other foray into reading Murakami has been 1Q84, which I've been told that people should not start on, and I a bit agree.  That one's dense and almost plodding. (Never made it past a few chapters, though maybe one day I'll pick it back up).

Anyway, at least your unhealthy habit is... illustrious, whereas mine is straight up tawdry.

Yes, I too should be working. *frets* *also slinks back to work*

Did you know????? A Wild Sheep Chase is part of some lofty trilogy, the third book actually..! I did NOT know!!! Now I'm dying to read some amateur analysis of what the hell Murakami was trying to get at in all that wild sheep chase (I'm full of questions) but I CANT because I have the read other books first. Kill me now.

OK. *really slinks back to work now*
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on July 31, 2017, 09:17:46 AM
cocoyam replies late (+lengthily on not much at all). :lalalala:
I enjoy drinking alcohol a bit, in a moderate sense, but usually I don't enjoy doing that with my co-workers. My co-workers are older, and French, and mostly males, equating to older French male co-workers. (redundant, yes, I know) I can't relate to them very well. They have this European version of bro-culture, like we work at this corporate start-up and are go-getting engineers and salespeople, or something. So I hardly have much to say to them, and it's not very enjoyable to hang out with older folks.

I wish I sounded less ageist, and that I embraced hanging out with people of all ages, because the start-up scene in the Silicon Valley is notoriously biased towards youthfulness... Older people talk about these small talk topics, like immigration (if they're immigrants), children, travel, where they go to work out, if they're the grown-up form of yuppies; what they do for fun, like snorkeling or music concerts or surfing/skiing. They have these funny anecdotes to share about what they did or saw at one point in their lives.

Around people my own age, I feel I can relate to them because we're at the same stage in life where we haven't quite figured things out yet. I can let down my guard and talk about what I feel like at work, the ways I waste my time, can talk about dating or not-dating and gossip harmlessly. I don't have to pretend I know what I'm talking about, or feel feeble for seeming less than sure about handling the mundane conversation that adults dredge up. I guess it's normal to relate more to people within your same age bracket with whom you have more in common, due to being at the same stage in life, but it took me a while to figure that out.

Anyway, that's how I usually feel when invited to go drinking with the European tech bros at my company, but there are a few co-workers on my team I appreciate more than the rest, including Drunk Advice Co-Worker, and I wouldn't mind going drinking with just them, mb sometime. But that's rarely the case, or when the invitation comes it's spontaneous and I, an introvert, haven't planned for it in the natural flow of my life for that day.

All that to say, though, I envy you, Hats, for being able to draw a sharp line between co-workers and social life outside of work. Maybe that's because you get along with your co-workers during the day, anyway. I'm pretty reserved and haven't connected that well with my co-workers during my first 9 months of employment (I'm around that mark!) so I feel underperforming, like I ought to perform better socially with my co-workers. Well, I think it's better to not necessarily be friends with your teammates, but to have a comfortable relationship with them and joke around as if you could be friends, at least. T^T

I don't feel anything developing romantically with my co-workers, even Co-Worker Who Gave Drunk Advice, who is considered a level above me and a superior of indirect sort even if not my direct supervisor, although some of them are friendly. I think it's more comfortable this way, too, although I have almost no chance of dating if I don't date my co-workers, or schoolfriends (since I abstain from meeting strangers to date, something I find a chore).

I've discovered lately that I think I might be happier at at company where I can relate to my co-workers more, therefore allowing myself to be more at ease and better able to form and grow/learn (in a technical sense) from relationships with my co-workers. In the end, it's that culture that I don't feel I relate to 100% that I feel somewhat inhibits or hinders me, combined with some disagreeable small petty things, like team politics and paranoia about conflicts. I realized it doesn't always have to be like this, at other companies; I don't always act so reserved and tentative, in every setting. Although there are many good/decent things about my company, I think I shouldn't settle at risk of limiting my growth.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on August 06, 2017, 02:59:58 PM
Since most of my family went away to the French Riviera for two weeks, I've been staying at home alone with one of my younger brothers for the past week. During these few days, I've had a taste of what my mother goes through everyday. He's not doing anything to help! He's staying at home all day long, sleeping until midday and doing God knows what the rest of the time. Yet, when I come home from work, completely exhausted, I'm the one who has to go grocery shopping, who has to cook, to clean the dishes and the house. I even have check the mail and to water the plants. Today, I spent half the day cooking and since he was getting hungry, he came by several times to check whether the food was ready. He didn't even offer to help. :shaded:

What's even worse is that he probably doesn't even realize what he's doing. He can take care of himself. When there's nothing to eat, he goes to buy some food, he prepares his own lunches, when I'm too tired to cook, he puts a pizza in the oven and washes the dishes... He just thinks taking care of the household is primarily my responsibility since I'm older and I'm a girl. And he will never, ever clean the house. It probably doesn't even cross his mind.  :mad:

What's sad is that he's twenty-three. He's too old to behave like a teenager. But I shouldn't complain. I'm twenty-eight and still living with my parents. I live twenty minutes away from my workplace, I don't pay rent and hardly ever have to help out with household chores since my mom doesn't work. Taking care of the house and my brother for a few weeks a year in exchange is a good deal.

Still, my parents have six children and he's the worst one in that regard. I wonder if he behaves this way because he's a middle child or if it's just plain old sexism.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 07, 2017, 08:49:48 PM
We have six in the family too. I can assure you that not all middle children are like your brother! I think maybe your brother could have benefited with some chores as a kid, like vacuuming the carpet or sweeping the floor. Whether you pay rent or not doesn’t factor in to this equation because you are all sharing a house, so everyone needs to pitch in to help mom when she’s away. And you’re his older sister, not his maid!

He sounds like a decent person, just needs a bit of discipline. 23 is young, but my youngest brother is 18, and he washes the dishes at home for my parents. If the sink is filled up, he automatically washes everything. But that came from my parents giving us daily chores.

As for me, I’ve been pretty crazy lately. Sitting on the anniversary releases still. Once I get everything in that I need from staff, it will be a done deal. For now, just wanted to say that you got me totally hooked on Cable Girls, and I hate you for it because Season 1 is over already and I’m dying to know what happens next to Francisco, Alba, and Carlos!  :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Megan on September 28, 2017, 01:37:01 AM
I'm so glad this board exists because I need to just rant somewhere! Nothing bad, but just thought I'd throw my thoughts out there...
I've been offline for the most part because I kinda hit a road block. I've been working my first full time, professional office job for around 1.5 years now, and I've been seriously underpaid for the work I do for the company. It's super frustrating because I love my job, but I know and am being acknowledged for doing a good job, yet I'm not been paid what I'm owed.
It makes it next to impossible to move out and start my own life!! Now I feel totally stuck!! I have no money to move out, but I don't want to leave the company because I love it, but I just gotta do it! I want to do something with myself, and it's been hugely frustrating the past couple of months.
I know everyone must have felt like this, or still do, but it's my first time feeling like I have no direction. It's a lot more scary that I ever thought.

On a better note: one of my friends works in Japan, and I have finally set a date to go see her! We're going to a snow festival in Sapporo in February, so that's been driving me to keep going. I'll be doing a week or so in Tokyo by myself, so if you have any suggestions, send them my way! I'd like to do a day trip somewhere not too far as well, so offer any suggestions if you have them!

Anyway: I owe SwirlyOwl a whole Ane no Kekkon volume (I'm still working, I promise!), and I'll be working on & ch. 26 slowly. It's gotta be the worst chapter of the series... X __ X
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on October 22, 2017, 07:12:35 AM
That sucks Megan. Hope you can take it step by step. I wonder if your company realizes that they might be losing out on a hardworking, skilled employee if they pay you so little that you have to leave. That snow festival sounds like so much fun though, hopefully it'll make up for the stress that you have to go through now!

I haven't posted here in a while either. I realized I really wanted to work on my own projects and not as much as what was being given to me to study, so I put my foot down and told my school I was going part-time. That took a little courage because I generally try to please people. Ended out working in my favor, because they listened to me and told me to do my projects as independent study full-time instead! I really like it, but I spend a lot of time obsessing over whether I'm moving along fast enough (I work slowly) and whatnot. Actually. I just don't move along at the pace that I want, plain and simple, so a lot of things are getting left off the plate.

I'd slowly been getting over my ex-fwb, who I had a heart to heart with in March (did I mention it? not sure). But early August, I met someone who sparked my interest and who also happened to be uninterested in relationships (damn, Kusa, you got a thing going there for the guys you get into!). My conversation with this new guy about relationships made me think hard about my commitment phobia and I ended up making a soft proposal to my ex-fwb to give things a try back down in SoCal (meaning I'd move from the Bay to be with him). Ex-fwb shot me down, pretty much, which is probably for the best. Even though I really liked him and he said that he had strong feelings for me, there were a lot of signs that we wouldn't be happy together. Now I'm ignoring his emails for creative input (it's slightly tactless! why do you gotta assume I'll give you feedback on every iteration of your film just because I said I was willing to look over a script ONCE? and after shooting me down on my grave offer at romance!)

I've been giving relationships and casual hooking up a rest. I'm getting breakfast (for dinner) with a date tomorrow, but it's mostly for fun.

What preoccupies me my tendency to get lonely and brood. I've wanted a good friend, one I can connect to profoundly, forever, and the new guy I met was something like that. It hasn't been entirely easy, though, so I haven't been in touch with him for two weeks now. I'm trying to clear out the cobwebs in my mind and figure out our boundaries. I worry what he thinks about the no-contact and hope he's okay with us only meeting every once in a while. I'll try to explain things if we meet up again in the end.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on December 04, 2017, 09:45:33 PM
Megan: Read your message in the CBOX, as well as your Sep post. Gambare! Fighting! I'll be cheering you on the sidelines while you try to accomplish your goals. You deserve to go where you will be compensated and valued for your good work. I had to fight for my promotion this May in my company, but they did not give me the raise I asked for yet, so I know the feeling. I may need to walk away if nothing changes. Let's do this!

Kusa: Damn, girl. You are forever heading toward trouble with these fwb relationships. I keep wishing I could physically restrain you when anyone cute but dangerous comes along. Can't understand how you handle these heartbreaks, but you do it like a champ. I'd be a sobbing mess.

I'm currently on a relationship "hiatus". I really had to ask for it because I was starting to get cold feet. Is this what happens when you're in too deep? Usually I just break things off before I ever get to this point, or the guy ghosts me, and then I bump into him, only to find him with someone else. I also felt suffocated because I never had time to myself. Anyway, that's not really bad news, as we are still skyping regularly. But now I'm ready to start pouring my energy into scanlating again, free of distractions. (Sorry, Boyfriend.)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 03, 2018, 01:58:19 AM
Quote
I keep wishing I could physically restrain you when anyone cute but dangerous comes along.
Bahahahaha!!!! That's hilarious. FWIW the guy who "sparked my interest" but "was not looking for a relationship" wanted to be fwb but I turned him down because I knew a fwb with him would have spelled trouble for my heart. Now we're good friends who have kept very diligently platonic.

My first fwb (the guy I made the soft proposal to) is completely oblivious. First of all, he didn't get that him turning down my offer might have been a big deal for me, emotionally speaking, and second, he wished me happy holidays and all that while forgetting about my birthday (right around the holidays). It kind of makes me glad he turned me down-- I thought I'd be able to be patient with that side to him, but it would have driven me crazy.

I have been staying away from fwb and casual arrangements for a few whole months(!!) or I suppose maybe a half year lol but I'm about to strike something up again. I like to think that I've learned, however, and that I know to end things early if there's any trouble for my heart signaled ahead.

@Hats: I wonder if you have an independent streak that makes you want a little more space in a relationship, or if your habitual cold feet might be a symptom of self-protective habits (avoidance of attachment)? Either way, I'm glad that your boyfriend is understanding (I hope) and that the two of you are able to give each other space to figure things out.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on January 19, 2018, 09:10:21 PM
Quote
Megan: Read your message in the CBOX, as well as your Sep post. Gambare! Fighting! I'll be cheering you on the sidelines while you try to accomplish your goals. You deserve to go where you will be compensated and valued for your good work. I had to fight for my promotion this May in my company, but they did not give me the raise I asked for yet, so I know the feeling. I may need to walk away if nothing changes. Let's do this!

I hope you get the raise you deserve. I've been swamped with work lately. I've gained more responsibilities but I've been in the same position for three years and I need a change. If I don't get an actual promotion soon, I'll have to start looking for a new job.  :hero:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on January 24, 2018, 03:14:49 AM
Hope you all are doing good! I miss seeing some more detail posts from all of the staff about their lives :)

Here's a x-post from another forum I frequent:
I'm a bit tired - have trouble getting consistent sleep at night and it's really putting a crimp on me getting to school on time and having a good morning routine. That aside, I've been wanting to limit my distractions from school but keep feeling like I'm pulled away by social matters. I set a hard limit of 3 social commitments this week but even still I feel scattered. Today I met with one of my closer friends (the one who 'sparked my interest' and with whom I am being 'diligently platonic'). I'm flattered that he professes to enjoy spending time with me (out of a select few in his life) and that he's eager to hang out more regularly, but to me our conversations are 50:50. Sometimes I'm really into them and sometimes there's a bit of mismatch. I also think because I'm so reserved yet we talk a lot about our own identities, our conversations can be a bit jarring to me. I do like him though and would like to be truly good friends. I just don't know how to manage my life. Lol.

I'm also looking forward to reuniting with my high school best friend, who I haven't talked to in years, in 2 weeks, and (I'm not sure "looking forward" is the right term, but) going back to work after school finishes--to my internship workplace, where i was super stressed.
 :huh:

But I'm hoping to approach things differently this time around so I won't have the same experience. Why am I going back? Because I don't want to do another job search, and I want to focus on completing my project, and because they pay well.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on February 21, 2018, 01:11:37 AM
(only one left posting lol)

The meeting with my ex-bestie went well. It's strange seeing her after 8 years - it's still her, only grown up and more outing and cheery. We're planning on hanging out again with a few more high school friends.

It's odd that coco and I have nascent "adult" friendships developing where different dyads and groups of people go out of their way to hang out with us (it feels like one step further than in college and school when that stuff was convenient). Well, they're nascent, and we have to see how these things go. But anyway I'm working -- well working is a generous term, but -- I'm working on reducing how much I form my sense of self through my relationships with others. I realize I spend a lot of mental energy on that stuff. I don't want to cut off my friendships with others, but part of me wants to retreat into myself and find myself again through my pursuit of hobbies and passions, rather than who I am to others. If that makes any sense.

I wrote two posts ago that I was about to strike something up again in the liaisons department (which I'd given a break for a while). Well I tried one or two liaisons out but none of it was all that compelling to me. So instead I went back to an old lover I really like (who happens to be pretty elusive). I really enjoy our encounters but I have to watch myself with this guy - I've always been too into him for my own good.

/end diary post :eto:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on May 03, 2018, 04:40:31 PM
It's been a while since I posted here myself. Apartment-hunting was a total nightmare, omg! The "slumlord" at my old place wanted me to stay and pay rent, while they did showings 3 days out of the week, and the stress was totally killing me. I kept having to box up my manga and PC during showings, and it was just really inconvenient all around.  :2ndlump:

After months and months of searching, I found a cute little apartment close to work. Once our internet is up at home, I can be more active again.

Kusa, if you read this, let me know how the reunion with your high school friend went?

And everyone else, I hope you are all doing OK.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on August 01, 2018, 08:44:28 AM
Hats! Do you live by yourself now? Congratulations! Do you love occupying and living in your own little space?

The years speed by. I've professionally been a software engineer for almost two years. I changed companies (don't know if I mentioned). A lot of things about it are better than the previous French company, other than the suckier benefits and slightly toxic (but female and multifaceted) CEO and perhaps room for improvement in technical mentorship. I still subject myself to demoralizing pressure sometimes and have suffered from a more substantial imposter syndrome since I joined this new company (new challenges, new pecking order -- I was used to being the best of the engineers of my rank!) but I'm quite fortunate and enjoy life quite well often enough in my own time. I'm now friends with some people at work! ;O

Somehow we accumulated too many casual friend groups and committing time to spending time with each of these parties got to be too draining recently. I may have made one of our closest casual acquaintances (who happens to want a lot of time with her chosen friends and seems to have a habit of getting a bit salty in part caused by issues with self-esteem) upset by communicating that to her poorly after the fact. I'll have to touch base with her tomorrow to check if she's upset.

In the dating department, it's been hard for me to really connect with men off of tinder. I told Kusa I'm waiting for someone to penetrate the thick ostrich egg shell (reserve) I've manifested around myself because I am so used to being self-reliant and not sharing my mind's bandwith / vesting a lvl of personal identity in others that is implied in romantic connections, on insignificant others. I've been meeting this 40-yr-old man because he's moderately interesting and it's nicer not to commit myself to men of my age who are immature due to their age (not that I can say this man is superordinately mature just because of his age, but there's less suffocating implications to meeting someone so distant in age). Infrequently though. Friends, I still have not entered the realm of physical intimacy! at 24 years. But I did get a birth control implant so I'm ready when the serendipitous opportunity strikes. Although I admit most times I find the prospect alien and far from reach of my daily reality.

(https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AfraidGiftedAmphiuma-size_restricted.gif)
This is not the exactly correctly-timed gif (the appropriate gif is when this character drills into the ostrich egg with a mini-stake and a hammer moments prior) but you must watch ep 6 of Atlanta s2. Preferably after watching all the previous episodes of Atlanta.

I've been kissed once by a boy* (*yes I mean a boy, he's the prime example of immature 23-year-olds that I meant above) on a tinder date. I did not like it; so worth declaring the only time I've been kissed by a boy, I didn't like it.

My current mentality is to meet many, not find The One, since tinder dates usually don't deliver but I feel guilty when I'm not pursuing any dating experience. (For a while before, my only mentality was "First dates feel like a chore and I can't really connect with plebs from tinder so there's no point in bothering {BUT I feel guilty for abandoning dating at my life stage}.") I'm a little hopeful about a cute, decent-seeming black boy I matched with on tinder and had some convo with. He games, is physically cute enough and seems decent personality/intellect-wise. If anything comes of it, I will update* (*said with insubstantial commitment).
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 01, 2018, 07:01:05 PM
cocoyam, how I've missed you! Say hello to Kusa for me as well. Yes, I'm by myself now. My original plan when I wrote that post was to move with my sister's family, but the space was just too small, and we couldn't find a decent 3-bedroom for our price range. Also, it was kind of wearing us down thin living together. I think this move was for the best. My absolute worse fear was having to move back in with my parents, and second worse, my boyfriend. But this studio will do for now.

That ostrich egg is gigantic! The man who wins over my cocoyam's heart deserves a round of applause. I'm excited for you about this interesting black boy though. Hmm, could he be the one? //nudge nudge// Ok, I'll stop being annoying now. You're not even looking for The One.

And I think that's apt. I suppose there's no such thing. But I do believe that win when you have a long-term relationship and get to know the intimate details of that person, it will feel exactly like they are "The One." Like you're two pieces of a puzzle. 

I'll check out Atlanta. Where can I stream it though? I don't have cable. So hard for me to catch shows on TV.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on August 03, 2018, 06:52:19 AM
I think you can watch Atlanta on Hulu (https://www.hulu.com/atlanta?cmp=7958&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BM%20Search%20TV%20Shows&utm_term=atlanta%20hulu&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-uDLsKTQ3AIVCb3sCh2EeQytEAAYASAAEgKywvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)! Although, we *may* have watched on fmovies or 123movies a few times. *ahem* We don't have cable either. ^^;

I like the show because I can relate to the characters and the cinematography is sometimes beautiful, but I'm not sure it's everyone's jam. Still, I like to spread what I enjoy just in case someone else finds as much joy as I do in it.

Thanks for your encouragement :ohh: I'm glad you moved out if it was wearing you thin. Independence is sometimes beautiful!

I'm playing Maplestory M these days a bit for fun. I tried playing on a private server a bit, and did enjoy that, but it was sparsely underpopulated. I find that I enjoy Maplestory M, even though it's a far cry from the grindfest I feel nostalgic over, actually because it is so casual (you can auto-quest and auto-battle). It feels relaxing in the same way manually grinding does, oddly.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Minelauva on August 05, 2018, 04:57:04 PM
Hats, congrats for moving out on your own! It must be nice to have your own place.  :uhhuhyeah:
As for me, I still have about a year left before I can move into my own appartment. But even if it's frustrating sometimes, I enjoy spending time with my family.

It's been a while since I last posted here. Last time, I mentioned wanting to change jobs. I spent the better part of the year trying to make that happen, which explains why I went MIA. But all my hard work paid off since last month, I was offered a promotion!  :yesss:
Now, I will have to fight to get a raise but at least, I got the job. But that also means that I've got more work than ever, especially since I recently came back from a three-week vacation. I've basically turned into Momo-chan from 3am Dangerous Zone. It's a good thing the place I work at closes at 8pm, otherwise I would probably have ended up going home in the middle of the night more than once. But I will have to get this under control since I'm a manager now. I can't take care of people if I'm exhausted. Besides, I'm planning on being here to celebrate our tenth anniversary next year so I won't disappear a second time.   :yougogirl:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on August 17, 2018, 11:58:56 AM
Congrats on your promotion, Mine!! It must be satisfying to see a change happen because of hard work you put in for a specific goal.

I'm surprised, usually the additional responsibilities that come with a promotion imply a raise at the same time. Did you change companies?

It's past 4 am and normally I wouldn't be working at this time, but my sleep is oh so finicky. So I'm working, which might not entirely be a bad thing, but I'm worried about my sleep schedule long-term. I might write up a longer post about work in the work topic since I'm prone to ruminate at length on such topics.

Take care of yourself, Mine!
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 17, 2018, 03:54:48 PM
coco one of these days, I'm going to make you join the team.

Btw, I heard that one of your Atlanta stars is nominated for an award? I think I will watch the series after all.
<---Easy to convince with shiny objects and big speeches
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on August 24, 2018, 11:37:24 AM
 :blush: I'm not sure what I would be useful for. Proofreading?

It's another 4 am might as well study or or work day. This time because I went out with coworkers. If I drink enough alcohol, it usually prevents me from sleeping. u_u

Since we're speaking about work, here's a little rumination about it (http://stilettoheelsteam.net/forum/index.php?topic=192.msg2885#msg2885). It wasn't the one I planned, because I had recently been struggling more generally at work, but things have kinda been shifting and I guess this reflects my current mindset more.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on August 25, 2018, 08:11:42 AM
You can come chat with us on Discord! You. Have. To. Come.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on August 26, 2018, 12:02:07 PM
It's 4:47 and coco reminded me that these forums have been a sacred ground for my diary entries that I should re-fertilize with a post (lol) so I'm here to contribute to the tradition of late night posts... even though my battery is running out (eek!).

Hats, the meeting with the former best friend from high school went well! We were pleased she'd developed a charmingly sunny disposition and got along pretty well. We talked about meeting up more regularly and so on but we lead separate lives and have grown apart, so... Interestingly enough, a few months after that we had a reunion with our elementary school best friend.

I thought I might share an update on my life (it's been about a year since I lasted posted? maybe less?) but now that I think about it, there's not much riveting stuff to share. I went back to my internship workplace and it's been going well so far, though I have my moments of stress (and plenty of moments of insecurity as a beginner eng.). I've been getting a little more careful with my heart and am in the process of trying to break things off early with one more cutie (sigh!!) who only wants a casual relationship with me. I bought him a pusheen to say good-bye (coco thinks that makes me look weak :'D).

I went through a phase of a few months of trying to invest time and energy in my friendships and so forth, but I realized that I like having a lot of time to myself actually. So now I've been looking to focus on self-improvement in terms of my career, habits and so forth while setting up stronger boundaries with friends.

So yeah... I've been living the mundane life of an adult seeking virtuous lifestyle and all that! I've been feeling less expressive and/or emotive though. I ought to resume the josei in this site so I have something for my heart to wax over again :-)
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on September 03, 2018, 08:10:36 AM
Quote
You can come chat with us on Discord! You. Have. To. Come.
I joined discord! (as hats already knows)
So excited to have friends to chat about daily life with.  :ohh: It's nice because like.. everyone in SH are young-ish women who can relate to each others' lives, across national or ethnic boundaries. I guess it's the boon of josei drawing people together through the subject matter.

But I still gotta post on here. I don't think I can selfishly bother the people in the discord with lengthy regales of my dating life (or other topics), and I need some written record of my processing via writing. :P

Uhh.. so I promised an update after I met with "promising black boy." I did meet him recently, and there's nothing wrong with him. We do share a lot of interests in common and he seems like a decent person. But I'm not particularly attracted to him and there wasn't much chemistry-- we mostly stuck to surface-level conversation, even when we were hitting on serious topics. I think he'd be a decent friend, but I'm not interested in more.

I have been sticking to my mantra of "meet many, not one" with commitment that makes me a little bit proud. :') In this past week, I met vidja game black boy (for lack of better descriptor ><) / candidate 1 on Wednesday, volunteered with co-workers on Thursday (not super related to dating but another social event in the week x_x), rock climbing bootcamp studying softw. engineer on Friday (god I hope he doesn't read the forums since I shared the link to SH with him ^^;), and went on my monthly date with 42-y.o. on Saturday.

It feels good to be able to say that I at least got to meet a few different people and get a sense of how I click/don't click with people... as opposed to meeting two people in one year, complaining that it feels like a chore and giving up, and feeling like I've made no progress in gaining dating experience or meeting someone I'm interested in.

rock-climbing bootcamp studying softw. engineer: There was actually a little bit more interest there than "promising black boy" when I met this person. He seemed a bit eccentric, but at least I was seeing some more sides to his personality than the dimensions I was able to access for vidja game black boy. We mostly talked about tech though because I get kinda in my head my software engineering educational and work experience, and it's the easiest thing for me to talk about sometimes. So there are holes there missing for his backstory and what he was up to before his bootcamp. I might give this one another chance if he's willing to wait a while for another date (need to space things out after I push myself to meet so many ppl because boy am I an introvert), but honestly, I don't have high hopes for this one going anywhere either. He might be a little more interesting than Candidate 1, but I am not sure it'll be enough for us to make a strong enough connection for a relationship in the end.
I know, I analyze a bit far for a first date. But hey, first impressions!

I mentioned 42-y.o. before and how I space out our meetings. Actually, yesterday was just our third date, since I've stuck to spacing out our dates at least by a month. Actually.. he's the one that I've been able to be most comfortable and natural around, and enjoy myself the most hanging out with. And actually.. part of the reason why I space out my meetings with him, other than conserving my time and drawing boundaries for how emotionally available I am, is to let the initial feelings after each date fade. (...) Ugh. Why is he so good/smooth at handling our interactions, and handling me, a stilted, reserved and unconventional 24-year-old with little to no dating experience, and many inhibitions? I guess those extra 20 years of dating experience must be an advantage. It's also irritating that his face is still attractive. Like dude, you're 42. You'd think those wrinkles would mar his face a little more.

I shouldn't write too much about him for risk of emulating Kusa-levels of mooniness (I hate even thinking of the possibility). But I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to find with anyone else what I've been able to find with him. This is frankly alarming. As much as I think I would enjoy spending time with him, and as much I enjoy consuming & and Ane no Kekkon, I witnessed what my linguistics professor went through by marrying her own professor (ah, the steamy drama). She's 50-something now (I think), still youthful and full of life, and he recently passed away after she had taken care of him for a year or two after he was diagnosed with dementia. In another 8 years, 42 y.o. will be 50 and his body will start wearing down. I'd be 32. He's literally in the generation of my parents, or old enough to be mine. It's enough to have to take care of your parents as they age; imagine having to care of your spouse as well, while you're still young and have so much life to live. /: You know how women worry about cutting their lives short by having children? I think the same applies to committing to someone much older.

This relationship is OK for the short term. I don't know how long it would last, though. And again, it worries me that I'm not finding similar levels of chemistry with other people closer to my own age. Anyway, he may have kissed me a few times on our last date [much to my significant level of mortification and not without significant awkwardness on my part], which is farther than anyone else has gotten with me without me disliking the whole ordeal. :poutpout:

Well, that's not the end. I also have plans to meet with an economics-y seeming nerd this coming Friday, and am trying to figure out where to fit in a first date / hang out with a guy who apparently went to the same consortium of colleges I did.
Sorry for ranting here on my dating life. I think I've been trying to figure out where I want to go with the people I've met so far. I think I'm counting out Candidate 1 unless just to hang out with him to make a new friend. Candidate 2, rock climbing swe, might get another date but mostly out of obligation to learn a little bit more, not hopes for it going anywhere. 42 y.o. has obnoxiously captured my interest, and we'll be seeing where that goes. Non-candidate 3, economics-y guy I'm kind of hoping will be a dud of some sort. I have a little bit of hope for Candidate 4, but who knows. ...Wish me luck! x_x
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Kusa on September 03, 2018, 08:17:27 AM
>risk of emulating Kusa-levels of mooniness
 :grin:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: Hats on September 05, 2018, 05:47:46 AM
Quote from: Kusa
these forums have been a sacred ground for my diary entries that I should re-fertilize with a post (lol)

These are sacred grounds indeed. It may not seem like there's any activity, but that's because staff boards are hidden. We are keeping busy behind the scene. (Or are we?) As long as you and coco keep posting I will keep on reading. Now if only my kitten would stop sitting on my keyboard and blocking my computer screen.

Both of you have really busy dating lives that's for sure. I tend to have very long relationships. I honestly think it may be due to laziness and a tendency to drag things out to the bitter end. I had been asked out on a few dates by random guys since my breakup with my brother's friend, but I never followed through. One really sweet guy (he was black) even asked my sister if he could take me out for dessert. And you know what I did? I pretended to be sick and sent my nephew... I think that last breakup hit me really hard, especially because he knew I had no one else to turn to and my brother was in the hospital. My mom was giving me so much trouble over him because he was four years younger. I told him what went down and asked him if he thought it was a good idea to stop seeing him. And what did he text me? "You won't be alone. At least you'll have your brothers, right?" I think my arm nearly fell off the way I swung it back and then forward to propel that cell phone into the other wall. What made it worse was the phone didn't even hit the wall. It just quietly landed in a pile of laundry. Daaaamn it! And then I just crawled over to pick it up and calmly texted back, "I understand. Good bye." Anyway, we bumped into each other. We held hands. I felt nothing, he probably felt nothing either, and we both never contacted each other after that.

My current boyfriend feels like my last. Even though he was a blind date. Though not a true blind date because I saw him at our beach parties at Bolsa Chica, and his girlfriend with the perfect flat stomach and belly piercing standing in the sun in her bikini was just so blinding. Agh! I don't know if I want marriage, but I can't imagine my life without him now. I've used that corny line on him before (which I seriously RIPPED from a movie and then butchered): "When I close my eyes, I can't see my future. But I can see you in it."  :lazybum:

The only hurdle I see is I'm still close with my high school sweetheart. We got through a funeral for a friend's death together. We share that memory. It's hard to explain it to him.

Anyway, coco, I'm glad you're branching out and meeting new people. Girl, go on those dates! I'm rooting for you to find the right one. And Kusa, I'm glad you're focusing more on your career and that it's giving you some measure of satisfaction.
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on September 08, 2018, 06:27:27 AM
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Now if only my kitten would stop sitting on my keyboard and blocking my computer screen.
Kitten?? KITTEN?? :aww: Knew you wouldn't stay non-cat lady for long, Hats.

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And you know what I did? I pretended to be sick and sent my nephew...
(https://dujrsrsgsd3nh.cloudfront.net/img/emoticons/cerealspit-1414026180@2x.png)
Hats borrowing tropes from Asian dramas. Your poor nephew... You must be one strong-arming auntie. *said with an impressed tone*

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I told him what went down and asked him if he thought it was a good idea to stop seeing him. And what did he text me? "You won't be alone. At least you'll have your brothers, right?"
:mad:
What a douche.
Well, rethinking it, maybe he was hurt on his end that you asked that? Communicating is so hard. D:

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Anyway, we bumped into each other. We held hands. I felt nothing, he probably felt nothing either, and we both never contacted each other after that.
Sounds like a fitting end. :scratch:

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My current boyfriend feels like my last. Even though he was a blind date. ... Agh! I don't know if I want marriage, but I can't imagine my life without him now. I've used that corny line on him before (which I seriously RIPPED from a movie and then butchered): "When I close my eyes, I can't see my future. But I can see you in it." 
:ohh: d'aww

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Though not a true blind date because I saw him at our beach parties at Bolsa Chica, and his girlfriend with the perfect flat stomach and belly piercing standing in the sun in her bikini was just so blinding.
:wildthought: Who has him now?

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The only hurdle I see is I'm still close with my high school sweetheart. We got through a funeral for a friend's death together. We share that memory. It's hard to explain it to him.
:poutpout: Ooh. That's tough. Hopefully as long as you make sure your bf feels OK about it because of what you two (you and bf) share. :)

-----

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Both of you have really busy dating lives that's for sure.
Usually not, this is new for me too :bymaself:
I feel like this week has wrought retribution on me for my excessive uptick in Tinder usage.
The date with economic-sy boy was definitely a bust, like it blew up in our faces before it happened. I feel like I was biased against him from the start because I was reading the LDE* (opposite of big dick energy (https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/big-dick-energy-bde-explained-ariana-grande-pete-davidson-what-is-it-a8421601.html)) from him due to the way he interacted with me.

For example, my bio alludes to the fact that I self-identify as an aloof person. His opening message was something to the effect of:
"Aloof? I guess underpromise, overdeliver :smirky-eye-face:"
Which is like... OK? Way to assert outcomes? When people say things that don't resonate or seem on the same wavelength as me, I tend to just reply in a sort of deadpan, reserved manner. I just said "I guess we'll find out, but I tend to be aloof to people in general, not just <something I forget now>"

He proceeded to throw some generic-ish pickup lines* out there, like "What's your favorite sushi place in the city?" and "Have you ever had ceviche at Bar Crudo?" and "Here's what I imagine you are: a girl who's down to go clubbing in Las Vegas, go skiing in the mountain, and will go and get sushi. Did I read you correctly?" (or something slightly more elaborate than that) But I decided to humor it since sushi and ceviche both appealed to me, and I've been trying to be more open in general to just going on dates -- I mean, what is the worst that can happen when you go on a date and can part ways soon afterwards? (Maybe a bad idea in retrospect.)
* I guess they're not strictly pick-up lines but they read to me as low-effort and trying to secure a date asap without getting to know someone first

I asked for Sunday, and he said he was busy then, so I said Wednesday of last week might work, but that I'm often drained by work and if it'd be okay to let him know the day of. He said, "The night before would be best :)" and I said that was fair. On Tuesday night I told him Wednesday didn't look so good (had to arrange a date with vidya-games black boy who just msged me on Monday that he was back in town) so how about next Friday? And he said all right.

On Wednesday he messaged me asking me if I still felt Friday was good, and I was like, "yeah, I think it should still work" or something like that. Which maybe was noncommital enough to make him feel insecure, or something. He asked if I felt like hopping on a phone call with him that night. I was like, pshaw. Pfft. Why would I do that?? I'm a millennial, come on. We don't do that in this age.

I didn't say it exactly like that to him. I just was like, "Haha. What would that be for? I'm one of those millennials. Avoid calls if I can help it. :P"
He said oh something about it can help to get a sense of the other person quickly and if we click.
I jokingly said, "Haha, don't want to commit to a date without doing some more validation first? :P" or something.
He said, "haha yeah, want to make sure we have a connection and it makes sense to move things around in my schedule" or something like that.
I was like. :annoyed-face-emoji: OK, really?? I know this may not be so unreasonable, but I am one of those people who can't be bothered by things like this.
I told him, "Haha. Is Friday difficult to arrange something after all? Just let me know if you'd rather not go out on Friday then. I'd rather not get on a call. :)"
He was like, "why do you feel so differently about a phone call instead of meeting someone in person? It's better than overanalyzing text messages"
This triggered a few paragraphs from me. I said: "I think it's just a personal preference."
He said: "OK, let's just meet on Friday then. :)"
If you recall, I wrote in my last post that I was actually hoping my date with this guy would be a dud, I think because I was already getting some bad signals from him re: initial conversation pick-up lines. By now, I was actively not looking forward to this date and thinking about cancelling.
I continued: "I'm not the most comfortable on the phone, and it's not something I anticipate enjoying. I'm not going to do something I don't anticipate enjoying without any motivation on my part (for someone else's benefit*)" *don't think I wrote this part but it's what I meant"
"Honestly at this point I'm not sure our personalities match that much. I wrote that I am aloof in my bio. I find it hard to be invested in other people, so I'm not going to go through extra effort just for someone else's sake."
"I'm not sure we are on the same wavelength."
"If you still want to meet on Friday after I put all of that out there, then we can."
"Just rather be clear that I'm feeling ambivalent (on my end) at this point."
He said: "I don't understand why you feel getting on a phone call is higher effort than meeting a stranger in-person."
I said: "Yeah, I think we view that differently. You view that as a filter, I view that as extra effort on my part than I normally commit to to meet someone."
By this point, I knew our conversation wasn't going so great.
He took a while longer to reply. When he did, he said: "Are you aloof in person as well?"
"It sounds kind of pretentious to write that in your bio."
Oh, I was furious now. My heart viscerally sped up as it does whenever I feel like I'm in a confrontation.
I said: "When I write that I'm aloof in my bio, I mean that to apply to my person, not just how I text someone on Tinder."
"I wasn't aware that it sounded pretentious. Are you sure you don't mean that I seem pretentious in general? :)"
(Wow coco, way to make a case that you're not pretentious with all that hard-ass formal language. That's definitely me and my genuine feelings, though.)
He said: "It kind of sounds view other people as entertainment and think you're busy" or something like that. At this point I was mad enough that I wasn't reading carefully any more before replying. (Btw: I do put in my bio that I am a busy introvert, so he was probably reading off of that as well.)
I said: "I don't view other people as entertainment. I think it's honest though. I find it hard to be invested in strangers I've never met."
"That said, maybe you're reading me accurately enough as far it matters for you. At this point, I'm no longer interested in meeting on Friday."
He said: "lol k."
I wrote: "Nice talking." and unmatched him.

This exchange kind of really annoyed and frustrated me, not because I felt a loss at being able to meet this guy (I think my read on him was already sort of affecting the way I was responding to him, which probably fed into his poor ego and insecurity) but because I've gotten this sort of general reaction before and maybe it's a sore spot for me.

First of all, I felt it was a bit low for him to come at me with what felt like petty insults, suggesting I was pretentious -- on my end, I don't think I would accuse people or sling insults without huge cause to believe it. I may be distant, but I'm formally polite to a fault and always give people the huge benefit of doubt when I express my feelings, even if I have a problem with you. So that really pissed me off. Also, if you think it's pretentious, don't match me in the first place! Dumbass.

But when I cool off, I acknowledge that I get prickly, fast, and that's sort of what happened when he kept on annoying me with his suggestions of a phone call. (I didn't feel like we were on the same wavelength, at all. I write that I'm aloof and a busy introvert, and you think asking for a phone call is a good idea??)
Anyway, even though it seemed like a low insult to me, I do understand that maybe he was genuinely expressing his feelings in an honest way in that moment, not necessarily intending it to be a low insult, when he wrote: "Are you aloof in person as well?" "It sounds kind of pretentious to write that in your bio." That he was probably mostly reacting to how prickly I get, fast, and the hard walls I put up to other people once I feel like they're encroaching on my boundaries..

I just feel like.. I don't bother sugarcoating what I write because that is genuinely how distant I feel from people, and how irritated I feel when they ask me to do things I feel I don't want to do for their sake, and not my own. I'm really tired of doing emotional labor to make sure everyone's feelings are safe and sound and not hurt by me expressing how I genuinely feel. That involves a lot of couching, and "Ah well I feel..." "but hope that doesn't offend you" and "haha :)" that I honestly don't feel like doing as a hard bitch. (excuse my language) But I guess this doesn't bode well for me in personal relationships...

Anyway, I didn't even tell Kusa the details of the exchange, just that it really aggravated me and probably gave off this exasperated holier-than-thou air and she immediately had this knee-jerk off-put reaction and proceeded to lecture me on how stony I get and how off-putting that is for people, and how it seems like I have an issue. She said it's not how I express myself that is the issue, it's the fact that I feel like that (so stony and distant aka above being affected by or bothered with other people's feelings) in the first place. :poutpout: That really kind of hurt, because she was saying similar things to this damn stranger, and she didn't even hear the details...

Sigh.

And then of course there was the catfishing incident. :wahhh:
Title: Re: Best/Worst thing that happened today
Post by: cocoyam on October 06, 2018, 05:30:55 AM
To follow the appropriate format:

Best thing that happened today: Hard to say, but probably that I went home with a little collection of nail polish from work I've been eyeing. (We used to film videos for diy projects so have some random materials like that.)

Worst thing that happened today: I'm still working (10:20pm). :wahhh: Not hard stuff, but all these little bits and ends that I have to wrap up. I was really looking forward to using this Friday to clean up, relax in the hot tub, swim, read Murakami, make candles and watercolor. Ugh. >.> Hopefully I can still do some of that tomorrow...

My co-worker friend also came up to me after work, when I was trapped at the office by work, and held me hostage in conversation for probably close to an hour or so. I'm not good at extracting myself from those situations and saying, "I'm trying to get something done here..." wah

Here to vent: I genuinely feel that my boss / manager doesn't really care much about our weekends. He'd rather us always wrap something up on the weekend to launch it sooner, even if it wasn't properly timescoped so we could actually finish it before the weekend. If this is that type of start-up environment where we always need to be scrambling to make that difference, I can't say I'm enthralled and likely to tolerate it forever. >.>